-Track Sixteen-
Not long after leaving the Thai border, the four fell asleep, and when the taxi arrived in Pattaya several hours later, the driver woke the Ga Lao Farang. (Old foreign men) He told them he would drive them to the city centre where he would stop at an ATM so they could get Thai Baht before he took them to a hotel.
They perked up when they drove into the vibrant city as Pattaya appeared to be one massive party in full swing, and they thought it was like Fields Avenue on steroids. The driver took them to an ATM where they each withdrew several thousand Thai Baht, and Steve and Charles went to a 7/11 and bought Thai phone cards.
“I’ll call Lucy and give her this number,” said Steve and called his daughter.
The car stopped in the forecourt of LK Metro Hotel and the driver told them they always had vacant rooms. The hotel was massive and looked new, so they paid the driver and collected their bags. Music seemed to come from everywhere, with smells from the street food vendors filling the warm night air.
They went to the reception and checked into four adjoining rooms. It was almost midnight and they felt exhausted after their tiring journeys.
“We’ve been travelling all day. Let’s have an early night and look around tomorrow,” said Charles.
“Good idea, buddy,” said Wayne yawning.
“Yeah, let’s pop out for something to eat, and get our heads down,” said Steve, rubbing his tired eyes.
They took their bags to their rooms, met up in reception, and went outside into the hot sticky night air.
The small street (Soi) by the hotel bustled with small food vendors selling various foods from Thai BBQ’s to Italian spaghetti and with the delicious aromas drifting around they felt hungry.
Elvin, looking at various food carts, asked. “Where shall we eat?”
“Let’s get off this road and find somewhere quieter,” said Charles and pointed to a side street a short distance away and they walked along Soi Lenky.
“Oh, this one doesn’t appear so quiet,” said Charles, as scantily dressed Thai women stood outside brightly lit bars and go-go’s brandishing signs.
Several women surrounded them outside the first establishment.
“Happy hour,” said a woman.
“Come inside and have a drink, sexy men,” said another.
Without waiting for a reply, the smiling girls ushered them through a door, behind a curtain, and into an area full of customers.
Similar to the Champagne nightclub, with mirrored walls and ceilings, the place looked huge. Mirror balls and strobe lights threw beams of coloured light around the ceiling of the room. A small well-lit shower enclosure was set off to the side, where two naked Thai women stood under a shower rubbing soap sensually onto each other’s glistening bodies.
While a Bruno Mars tune blasted out, naked girls swayed provocatively on gleaming chrome poles on the raised stage in the centre of the room.
The air conditioners provided welcome relief from the hot Pattaya night air. The four old-timers sat at stools around the central large stage, and Steve ordered them all a beer.
“So much for a quiet night,” said Steve smirking before he swigged on a cool glass of Chang beer.
They soaked up the atmosphere, enjoying the cool, air-conditioned go-go bar.
They finished their drinks and left Bus-Stop a-go-go. Ignoring the pleas from other Thai muggers along the strip, they slipped around the corner, ducking into an air-conditioned Subway sandwich.
They sat, ate subs, and looked out of the large window.
“This place is manic,” said Wayne as he watched the activity in the street. They saw foreign men in nearby bars having a whale of a time with Thai women.
“Yeah,” Elvin agreed and grinned. “We should enjoy it here.”
Enjoying the ambience and aromas of Pattaya, but avoiding the sexy bar muggers, they walked back to the LK Metro and went to bed.
The next day, they awoke around noon. Feeling drained, they met up in reception.
“Let’s find a quiet place to eat breakfast,” said Steve.
They went outside into the hot Pattaya sun and with the Soi now quiet, only a few foreigners and Thais milled about as the four walked a short distance from the hotel.
“Here looks okay,” said Steve, seeing a chalkboard outside a small bar-restaurant that read: Full English breakfast 79 Baht.
“Smells good too,” said Elvin, smelling fried bacon.
They sat at a table under a ceiling fan, ordered four English breakfasts, and chatted.
“The place looks grimy but the food smells delicious,” said Charles.
“Where are you lads from?” asked the man sitting at the next table.
“We’re from Cleethorpes,” said Charles.
“Cleethorpes; I’m from Leeds, just up the road from you.” They heard his Yorkshire accent when he smiled and said. “I’m Martin, I own t’ bar.”
While they ate, Martin told them about his time in Pattaya, gave them tour guides, and pointed out the Sois’ to visit, and those to avoid. They drank Tetley tea and spoke with Martin for several hours, telling him they were tourists on holiday. Martin seemed an amenable chap, even though he droned on about the problems with the Thai government and the sudden influx of Russians, who spent no money in the bars. He told them that if they wanted a good party night out, but nothing too strenuous, they should go to Soi 7 or Soi 8 later and check out the go-go bars. He told them they could cool down in them as they were all air-conditioned, and as they’d already found out, Pattaya felt hot and stifling at night.
Even though the restaurant was dingy, they liked Martin, and the food was good, so decided to make this their regular venue during the day while in Pattaya.
The four strolled around the Soi Chayapoon and Soi Excite area and, deciding that they had done enough walking in the heat for one day, returned to the hotel for a swim in the pool.
They went out around 6:30 pm and, as Martin suggested, walked the short distance to the Second road and along to Soi 7.
Open beer bars lined Soi 7, with music blasting out from each bar. The noisy cacophony added to the ambience of the soi, with music ranging from soft American rock to Thai traditional music.
“It’s damn noisy,” said Wayne turning off his hearing-aid.
Although few foreigners frequented the bars early evening, there was an abundance of girls, who wailed at the four sexy old men to come inside their bar and buy a drink.
With no traffic on the narrow soi, and trying to avoid the female muggers, they walked along the middle of the road taking in the atmosphere when something caught Elvin’s attention, and he said, “Let’s stop and have a beer,” and without waiting for a reply, rushed into a small bar.
The others looked confused but followed. They went into the bar and greeted by several girls who served them drinks and wiped them down with pai-yens, small ice-cold towels.
Elvin sat on a stool next to the girl who had smiled at him as they were walking past. Elvin thought the woman looked stunning. Something about her elegance had caught his eye, so he assumed she was the bars mamasan because she looked out of place among the other bar girls.
The woman smiled at Elvin, and another woman handed her a pai yen to wipe Elvin’s face and neck.
“That feels good,” said Elvin, cooing as the woman gently wiped the cool refreshing towel along the back of his neck. “My name's Elvin.”
The woman giggled, and in a sultry tone said. “Sawasdee Kah, Hello, Elvin. My name’s Pen and I’m pleased to meet you,” she smiled. “I am glad you came into the bar, when I saw you on the road you reminded me of my favourite actor, Bruce Willis.”
Elvin smiled and said. “That’s nice of you to say so, Pen.” He then glared at the others. “Some people say I look like a gargoyle or a lobster.” He showed his hands to Pen, who looked at his remaining digits, smiled, took his hand and seductively sucked his index finger.
“Blimey,” said Elvin, turning the colour of a boiled lobster.
Elvin ordered Pen a drink and oozed over her.
The others watched Elvin and Pen canoodle like lovesick teenagers.
A Thai woman came over and whispered something to Steve, who grinned and then whispered to the others.
Elvin thought he was in heaven as Pen kissed and caressed him.
‘She’s gorgeous, smells amazing, and the most attractive woman I’ve ever seen,’ he thought and asked. “Can I take you ‘ome tonight Pen. We are staying at the LK Metro Hotel.”
“Pen smiled, nodded, and said. “ Yes, I would like that, and I will make you very happy, Elvin.”
Elvin gazed into Pen’s deep brown almond eyes as she stroked his bald head. ‘Wow!’ He thought, ‘Jackpot, I’ve struck lucky.’
He leaned over to the others and said. “Ain’t she lovely? I've got a Viagra-free boner,” he chuckled.
There was an awkward silence before Steve blurted out. “Yes mate, and so has she!”
The others burst into fits of hysterical laughter.
Elvin looked confused and wondered what was so funny until reality set in. Shocked, he looked closer at Pen. She had a perfect female figure and could see no evidence they had warned him to look for.
Pen, noticing Elvin staring, became pensive and said. “What’s the matter, darling?”
Elvin felt confused and unsure what to say, blurted out. “They said that you’re a lady-boy!”
Pen's expression quickly changed from pensive and flirty to rage, and in a gruff voice, he screamed at them all in Thai, finished his drink, adjusted his short dress and todger position, and stormed over to the other side of the bar, leaving Elvin looking dazed.
While the three roared with laughter, Steve’s phone rang.
“Hang on Lucy, it’s too noisy in here so I’ll go outside,” he said and went to stand in the middle of the Soi.
The others watched Steve’s expression changing as he spoke to Lucy.
Steve frowned, grinned, and then chuckled for several moments before frowning again. The call lasted twenty minutes and Steve said. “Thanks Lucy, the others will be over the moon when I tell them. See you soon. Oh, thank Cosmo too, and let me know what happens… goodbye Love.” He hung up and with a beaming smile looked at the others who appeared frozen as they gawped at him.