-Track Twenty-
“What’s happened?” asked Charles with a quake in his voice. “A girl just told me that Wayne's dead.”
Steve nodded, sighed, and said. “Yes mate.”
Charles went over and looked at Wayne.
“Wot’s the matter wiv Wayne?” Elvin asked, rushing into the room. “A Thai woman just told me he’s dead.”
Elvin caught his breath and looked at the solemn faces of Charles and Steve stood over Wayne.
Feeling numb, he walked over to join them, gasped and said. “Wayne, wake up mate.”
“He can’t hear you Elvin, he’s gone,” said Charles and put his hand on Elvin’s shoulder.
The Thai girls rushed past the doorway, making a hasty exit from the hotel.
Elvin trembled and asked. “Wot do we do?”
Charles sighed and said, “We better tell the reception, they will know. Then I suppose we must inform the Canadian Embassy,” said Charles staring down at Wayne
“He looked like he passed away peacefully,” said Elvin, leaning over Wayne.
“Yeah, good old Wayne, what a way to go, quick, and on the job,” said Steve and smiled.
“He always said that he had no family in Canada now, so I don’t know where they will send his body.”
Steve looked at Charles. “We are his family Nobby. He’s coming home with us,” he said.
“Too right,” said Elvin and looked down at Wayne. “Goodbye old friend.” He leaned over and kissed Wayne on the forehead.
Wayne’s eyes then opened and with a look of horror, cried out. “Argh! What the fuck are you doing?”
“Argh!” screamed the others, jumping back.
Wayne sat up and stared at the shocked motley crew.
“What are you all doing?” asked Wayne, looking dumbfounded.
“You’re d...dead,” stammered Charles as a familiar ripe smell filled the air.
“Yeah, the girl you slept with said you were dead,” Steve stuttered as his botty finished belching from the shock.
“What?” asked Wayne, taking his hearing-aid from a drawer and inserting it, while Charles told him they thought he was dead.
“Dead,” said Wayne, wafting away Steve’s windy-pops. “Why?”
“That girl said she had been shouting at you to wake up for almost an hour. She said when she touched you, your body felt cold, so she fought you wez dead,” said Elvin feeling relieved.
“My body’s bloody cold,” said Wayne shivering, “because she had the goddamn air-conditioner on 16 degrees all night. It's bloody freezing in here, so I didn’t get to sleep until early this morning.”
The others then noticed how cold the room was, and realising with Wayne not wearing his hearing-aid, Steve sounded relieved, and said, “You daft, deaf old git,” he smirked. “At least the girls left without us having to pay them any more money.”
“We will go back to their titty bar tonight. It'll put the fear of God into them when Wayne walks in,” said Elvin, who chuckled and put his hand on Wayne’s shoulder. “I am glad you're okay mate.”
Steve chuckled, “Yeah, even though you put the fear of God into us all,” said Steve.
“I know… I can smell it,” said Wayne.
He laughed, got out of bed, and put on his trousers. “Well, now we are all awake, we might as well go eat breakfast.”
“Can anyone remember the go-go bar where the girls worked?” Charles asked, rubbing his chin and looking puzzled.
“Well I can’t,” said Steve. “We were all spannered. All I remember was the great news from Lucy and old digitally challenged there almost go with a ladyboy,” he chuckled and the three stared at Elvin.
“Well I didn’t know it wuz a bloke,” said Elvin looking sheepish.
“Perhaps that’s why they call it, Amazing Thailand,” Charles chuckled.
They went to Martins, ate breakfast, and because they didn’t want to trek around Buddhist Wats or see golden statues of Buddha in and around the city, they sat with Martin chatting until late afternoon, and early evening they ate at a nearby Thai restaurant and then went to Soi 7.
Lucy called and updated them on events in England after they had left Fredrick Farquharson-Jones office. She told them about their old Barrister sticking it to Billy Bullshit and Kipper’s settlement, assuring them they could return home anytime. Steve felt proud of his daughter’s determination as she said. “I’ll call you when I get home Dad. Enjoy yourselves and take care.”
They booked flights from Bangkok to Manila and Phnom Penh, leaving two days hence, giving them two more nights to revel in sin city.
After another late night of debauchery, they went to tell Martin they were leaving the following day and eat breakfast.
“What you doing today?” asked Martin.
Steve threw up his hands, shrugged, and said. “Same as usual I suppose, bugger all.”
“We’ll save our energy for another night out,” said Elvin, and shovelled a sausage in his mouth.
“You haven’t seen owt since you’ve been here,” said Martin. “Why not go to the Million-year-stone park and crocodile farm. You can watch the crocodile show.” They looked at each other, shrugged, and nodded.
“Why not... good idea Martin. What time do they have the shows, and how do we get there?”
“They have crocodile shows every hour Charles, but there were lots of other things to see,” said Martin, who looked at his watch and said. “When you’ve finished your breakfast, I’ll get a *baht-bus to pick you up.”
The four toured around the immense park on a small road train, impressed by its well-maintained exotic shrubs, trees, and colourful gardens. They watched a crocodile show in a large open-air auditorium, with bench seats surrounded an enclosed pool of water with a tiled raised stage at its centre and crocodiles swimming around the pool as a Thai man dressed in a waistcoat and baggy silk trousers grabbed one by the tail and hauled it onto the wet tiled stage.
“That Thai bloke must be mad putting his ‘ead inside that crocs mouth,” said Elvin, looking horrified.
“I hope that croc isn’t hungry,” said Steve, who held his stomach, grimaced, and belched. “That’s better,” he said and leaning over, lifting a butt cheek, smirked. “Sorry lads, that one snuck out. It must be the spicy Thai food making me bilious.”
The others looked at him and the people in the rows in front looked behind them as the foul smell drifted around the hot enclosure.
“Look Ripey, you’ve made that crocodile’s eyes water,” said Wayne and chuckled.
They left the show and went to a huge lake where they fed the giant catfish until they felt hot and sticky so went to sit on boulders placed around umbrellas in one of many small shaded areas around the park.
“Look,” said Elvin pointing at animal enclosures close by. “People are having their photographs taken with tigers and bears.”
“I will get one taken and give it to Danni when I get to the Philippines,” said Charles and headed towards a crowd of people waiting in line.
“Me too,” said Wayne. “I’ll get one for Nit and tell her I had to wrestle with it first,” he chuckled.
The others smirked, knowing that would be an interesting conversation to watch.
“Yeah, why not,” said Elvin. “Coming, Steve? We’ll get one for Fossdyke, you can frighten Chewy when you get home.”
“Nah,” said Steve. “I’ll wait here.”
“Why scared of tigers are you?” said Elvin and chuckled as he went to join the line.
While the others queued in the afternoon sun, Steve felt a rumble, and seeing nobody around, he let rip. A sudden wave of nausea and malaise flowed over him and he felt a crushing pain in his chest. Something felt wrong as a euphoric feeling overwhelmed him as sections of his life flashed before his eyes.
Wayne, next in line for his photo, looked at Steve slumped over a boulder. He alerted the others and they walked over to Steve.
“Are you okay, buddy?” asked Wayne sounding concerned.
“Cor blimey,” said Elvin, who chuckled and wafted the smell away. “Are you that afraid of the tigers? Don’t worry mate, that smell would keep them away.”
Steve didn’t reply. His eyes glazed over, his head lolled forward, and he rolled onto the floor.
“Steve!” yelled Charles.
The three stared.
“Steve!” Wayne screamed. He shook Steve, and he and Elvin sat him up against the boulder.
Steve groaned as Wayne shook a remnant of life back into him. He looked at his three friends, smiled, and with his final breath, muttered. “It’s all been bloody marvellous.”
The darkness of death then enveloped him, and with a dignified smile, Steve ‘Strat’ Baker shuffled off this mortal coil.
Charles yelled for help and Thai park staff rushed over. The shaken old men looked on while the Thais administered CPR. After five minutes, they gave up and spoke Thai to other staff that had come rushing over. The three shocked old men watched as the Thai’s dragged Steve’s body into the shade and walked away. Elvin, Charles, and Wayne felt helpless. They went over to their friend's body and knelt beside him. He looked peaceful with a big smile across his unanimated face. Wayne held his hand as they heard ambulance sirens approaching.
The Hiace ambulance stopped and two medics got out with a Thai Doctor who examined Steve. He looked at his watch and wrote something on a sheet of paper. Two park staff came over and the Doctor gave instructions to load Steve’s body into the ambulance, and then the Doctor came over to the three.
“You his friend’s?” he asked in pidgin English.
They nodded,
“Come with us,” he said, and got into the front seat of the ambulance, while Elvin, Wayne, and Charles got in the back with Steve’s body on a stretcher and the medics.
The ambulance drove out of the park and along the highway towards Bangkok Pattaya International Hospital.
“They could have at least covered him,” said Charles sounding angry and took a sheet off the stretcher they were sitting on and covered Steve’s body and face. The doctor sat in the front seat giving instructions on the radio in Thai. Charles took Steve’s phone from his bum-bag and slipped it into his shirt pocket.
After the ambulance took Steve’s body to the morgue in the Bangkok Pattaya Hospital, the hospital contacted the British Embassy in Bangkok, who said they would send their representative in Pattaya to the hospital.
The Doctor told Charles, Elvin, and Wayne to wait in the reception area of the accident and emergency department for their Embassy rep to arrive. The three shell-shocked old men drank coffee in the large modern hospitals café looking at one another.
A Thai nurse came over and handed Charles a clear plastic bag containing Steve’s bum-bag and belongings.
The three stared at the bag, still finding it hard to take in what had happened.
“Elvin’s voice trembled and he sounded hoarse when he said. “We had better call Lucy.”
“We should wait and find out what the Embassy official has to say first,” said Charles, looking forlorn.
They all felt terrified being so far away from home in this foreign land. They watched Thai Doctors and Nurses walking around taking people to various departments, while other patients and visitors ambled around or stood at the large busy reception desk. The old men felt alone and confused.
They looked outside the glass-fronted hospital as twilight gave way to the night.
A man then came over to them and introduced himself as Robert Whitehouse, the Pattaya warden for the British Embassy in Bangkok.
He asked for Steve’s passport and travel insurance docket, which Charles gave him from Steve’s bum-bag, along with a business card for LK Metro and he told Robert their room numbers.
Robert took the passport, looked at it, and confirmed next of kin details. He then looked at the insurance certificate, nodded, and put that along with Steve’s passport in his briefcase and explained the procedure of what happens when a foreigner died in Thailand. “They rarely bother with post-mortems out here, the body gets cremated at a local Wat, Thai Buddhist temple, as soon as possible.” He smiled. “It’s less paperwork for the Embassy and less money for the insurance to pay.” Robert grinned and told them. “You can take the ashes home when you go if you want.”
He looked at his watch and then at the three. “Now I have confirmed his details, I will call the UK Embassy in Bangkok and someone there will contact his next of kin, Doctor Lucy Fossdyke, and get her permission to release the body for cremation tomorrow. Oh, and you pay 6000 baht for each day the body stays in the morgue, but you can claim that back on insurance.”
The old men glared at Robert as he told them. “In the meantime, I would go back to your hotel before the police arrive and get ‘coffee money’ from you.” He chuckled, stood, dialled a number on his phone, and walked out of the hospital.
The three watched Robert leave and looked surprised.
“He was an impersonal bastard,” said Wayne furrowing his brow.
“What do we do?” asked Elvin, cupping his hands over his face. “We don’t want him cremated here.”
“No, and we don’t want a stranger like that bureaucratic twat telling Lucy about her Dad.”
Charles nodded, sighed, and said. “You’re right Wayne, I’ll call Lucy.”
“Drink this love,” said Bernard, handing Lucy a brandy. He sat down, put his arm around his trembling wife as she sipped the brandy, and asked, “Do you know what happened darling?”
Lucy sniffed back the tears and said. “No, Charles only said that he had died a few hours ago while at a zoo and that his body was now in the morgue at a Pattaya hospital. He said they were at the hospital now, and a man from the British Embassy had been and advised them to go back to the hotel.” She looked at her husband through tear-filled eyes and said. “Charles told me they intended to cremate him in Thailand tomorrow.” She took another sip of brandy and scowled. “Well, that won't happen. I want Dad brought home… I want to bring them all home.”
She finished the brandy and while Bernard poured her another, the British Embassy in Bangkok called.
Kipper had been inundated with job offers since Lucy and Cosmo left London, ranging from computer companies and top music industry firms to men’s health and fashion magazines, everyone wanted to jump aboard the Kipper / Fossils bandwagon. He accepted a disc jockey job in Vendome nightclub which came with a lucrative package and make him one of the top-earning disc jockeys in the country. They knew the stigma that his name alone attracted would increase the nightclub’s profits and propel it to one of the top entertainment spots in London.
The past few days had been hectic and Kipper relaxed in his suite at the Hilton looking forward to moving into his Mayfair penthouse apartment the following day. He took out his phone and took it off voicemail. ‘I can’t be bothered to check them now,’ he thought and then his phone rang. Kipper sighed, looked at the number, smiled, and then answered. “Hello Cosmo.”