26th June
Rod and Crystal Dowsing stood next to their black transit van.
A reporter from BBC News began to interview them:
‘Rod and Crystal Dowsing,’ said the reporter, ‘I understand that you are UFO hunters and experts in extraterrestrial phenomena.’
‘That’s right,’ said Rod, pointing with pride to the new logo on the side of the van: the emblem was circular, with a picture of a flying saucer at its centre. The words: Rod and Crystal Dowsing – UFO Hunters encircled the image.
‘Can you tell us what you make of the very unusual crop markings that have appeared here at Avebury?’ asked the reporter.
‘From my vast experience,’ said Rod, ‘they are clearly faked.’
‘Scientists have examined the markings,’ continued the reporter, ‘and say they are quite unlike any previously known crop marks: the corn has not been flattened, but it has apparently been vaporised – scorching the earth beneath – with no damage to the remaining plants that surround the letters. Also, there are at least fifty witnesses, including Brian Cox and Richard Dawkins, who say that they observed blue, laser-like beams coming from the night sky. They report actually seeing the words being burned into the crops across seven fields.’
‘I think we have to be scientific about this,’ said Rod with a patronising smile. ‘Extraterrestrials would not simply spell out their intentions in plain English so that anyone could understand. They always prefer to draw ambiguous, enigmatic patterns so that only those of us who possess mystical insight can, by meditation within those patterns, analyse the subtle, residual forces and vibrations that they leave behind them. Only we can thus interpret the true intentions of our visitors from the stars.’
‘Thank you, Mr. Dowsing,’ said the reporter, turning to speak to the camera. ‘So here we have it: independent scientific analysis has confirmed that the words burned into these corn fields at the summer solstice were undoubtedly caused by some kind of laser weapon fired from a UFO.
‘UFO hunters and New Age believers, however, have turned their backs on the site, saying that a clear, unambiguous, attributed message in English is insufficiently mystical to be the work of aliens.’ He briefly paused. ‘The debate, therefore, continues.’
Joan switched off the monitor shortly before Helen entered the room.
‘How are Swan, Angela and Vladimir?’ Joan asked.
‘Recovering,’ said Helen. ‘Swan came round while I was with him. The lab are analysing the substance in the Key. It appears to be some kind of hallucinogen. It’s really potent,’ she added. ‘They weren’t sniffing it. They were about thirty centimetres away.’
‘Can I ask you a very personal question, in confidence?’ said Joan.
‘Of course,’ Helen replied.
Suppose someone killed Swan and, forty years later, you learned the identity of that person. Assume that you might be in a position to kill him. What would you do?’
‘I guess Vladimir must have identified Swordfish, the person who killed Bill, and he’s told you about it,’ Helen replied.
‘You’re very quick, Helen,’ said Joan. ‘If we’re all still alive on the fourteenth of September, I’d like to talk to you about a more permanent job with MI5.’
Helen thought about Joan’s question. ‘I don’t know what I’d do,’ she said. ‘I think I’d probably ask myself what Swan would have wanted. I’d then ask myself what good revenge would do.’ Helen paused. ‘After that,’ she concluded as tears formed in her eyes, ‘I’d probably shoot the bastard.’
Helen and Joan looked at each other and laughed.