SOMA | The Meme Dump
ANNOUNCER
The champion Jón Páll Sigmarsson’s first attempt.
The blond strongman lifts the cart with little effort. He hollers at the crowd.
SIGMARSSON
I am Viking!
NICK
LeoNard, is The Mycelium’s website live?
LeoNard appears on one of the other computer monitors.
LEONARD
Yes. We'll be updating the blog shortly. We’re waiting for the graffiti mural of Mycelium to be finished. The artists were able to capture a pretty good likeness from your photo reference.
NICK
How’s the social media rollout going?
LEONARD
We’ve taken control of Levon’s social media accounts. We're editing them now.
NICK
Editing? That’s so heavyhanded.
LEONARD
Minor changes. We want to imply that Levon is the infamous Mycelium without writing anything criminally damaging. Nothing 71
SOMA | The Meme Dump
that can be admissible in court.
NICK
Tricky... Tricky...
Nick grunts as he pushes through several squats in quick succession.
He redials his phone and receives an error message. “Secure Mobile customer URBAN ADIRONDAC is unreachable. ”
Nick stabs at the message. He considers throwing the phone.
Instead, he places it on his desk. Breathing heavily, he picks up his medieval knife and stabs at the last scraps of meat on the silver platter. He chews manically. Nick takes a breath. He looks at his reflection in the empty platter. Gently, he smoothes out a tension in his face. Nick picks up his phone. He starts another round of compulsive dialing and bodyweight squats.
LEONARD
Nick, our PartyinaVan is outside.
NICK
What’s a partyinavan?
LEONARD
They’re professional partygoers. They’re here to supplement our Dog Day guest list.
NICK
Are you insinuating I’m not popular enough to fill our office party?
LEONARD
They’re a starting point, so that the first real guests don’t feel awkward arriving to an empty room! Just a moment... Just a moment... A suggestion from Central Computer, Mr. Steib?
Nick bangs out a rapid burst of squats.