Single and Loving It by Marietjie Jewell - HTML preview

 

We gather our belongings and trudge back to where we had parked the car.  The chatter is still going on till about 2 minutes from the flats.  A hush falls over the car and I notice all the eyes are now at half-mast.

 

We decide to leave all the stuff in the car, take only the important things like cell phones and of course my smokes.  Trying to get all the belongings together at 4h00 in the morning, adding exhaustion and in dire need for a cup of java is just impossible.  We all quietly unlock the door to the flat and the boys head straight for the bedroom.  I think they were asleep before their heads hit the pillow.  I go for a quick was and make myself a cup of steaming hot coffee.  I take it to the veranda where I light a smoke and sit watching the sun rise.  It’s a tradition I have had for many years.  I must see the sun rise on the first day of the New Year. 

I did not meet my prince charming on the beach, I had a brave night and will again see the New Year in “Being single and still loving it”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s nearly the end of our holiday.  We lazed out the remainder either on the beach or taking long drives next which brought my mom and I to the Wild Coast Sun on rainy afternoon.  We decided that a ‘pop-in at the casino would be great.  We find parking and vow not to spend more than R100.00 each on the gambling machines.  We exchange our hard earned money into fake gambling money.  We amble along and find a machine each.  My mom loves the poker machines and I go looking for the three ‘7’ machines.  An hour later we find each other again, I have still got half of my money and my mom has about a quarter left.  This gambling stint of ours was not that much fun.  We decide to call it a day but not quite ready to go home.  As we exit the gambling area and walk on to find the main exit we pass the kid side of the Wild Coast Sun.  I get this wicked childish grin on tell my mom we should try a few of the games for the kids.  I first thought she would not agree but to my utter delight she agrees.  We go to the counter and exchange our left over money for game coins.  I can’t remember when last I had so much fun.  There is this game that has 5 crocodiles, they just stick out there heads and you have this rubber hammer that you have to clobber the crocodile with.  That was our all time favourite for the day.  I am quite sure we played most of our coins at this game.  Now you can just imagine.  A nearly fourty year old and a sixty year old hammer away at the poor plastic –mechanical crocodiles.  And the more you hit the faster they go in and out.  We were in hysterics trying to clobber them.  I am sure I also saw a few kids staring at us in amazement!  We swung; we buckled and swayed in out attempts to hit these evasive creatures to outbursts of laughter.

When exhaustion and lack of any more coins we decided that we have feed out inner child to the max and can now live another 100 years or so.  For our hard working clobbering sessions we were rewarded with a few tickets the machine spat out at us.  We headed off to the prize counter were we both chose identical little stuffed bunnies.  The woman at the counter surely thought we were bonkers, and maybe we were for awhile.  But who cares, we are allowed to just be ourselves, live a little without some idiot of a man telling you to behave or quiet down or the ultimate insult “oh act your age’

 

We left the Casino with such stupid happy faces that a couple passing us in the parking lot commented that we must have one allot of money.  No we did not but we won back a few years of our youth from a stupid lot crocodiles and loved our new found youth.

And it did not need any miracle cream or vitamin booster or surgery, just some clean plain fun and acting and feeling like a kid again.  You should try it, it really works and it only cost a few rands!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That night we are all busy packing, making sure the washing basket has no kept any of our clothes back.  My mom is searching under the beds for lost socks and odd shoes.

 

Finally I am convinced all is packed and whatever is hiding from me we will collect on our next visit or when my mom decides to visit us back in good old Witbank (dubbed Shitbank by us).

 

This is going to be a sad good-bye as Brian is not coming home with us, he is going to stay on with Gertrude and my mom as he well be attending college there.  And I bite back the sadness as I don’t want him to stay.  Slowly my little family is growing smaller and smaller.  First Steward moving out and starting on his own and now Brian.

 

We are all packed and ready to go. We always travel at night and it takes us about 8 hours to get home. We all say our teary goodbyes and slowly drive off.  The tears in my mom’s eyes make my heart break into a million pieces.  Brian and Collin are quiet and sad and I give Brian a hug that lasted a long time, I quietly let out a sob and try and regain my steady smile and step back and warn him if he slacks off once on his studies he will be back in Witbank with us in a flash.  He hated the place and I knew it will be a good threat to keep up the studies.  We detach ourselves and Collin and I climb into the car without another word and drive off slowly giving a last hoot and a wave.

 

 

 

I stop off to refuel the car and go buy some cool drinks and snacks for Collin and I.  Once we are on the Highway and the sadness hangs I start on  a ‘remember the day we went to the beach and a wave knocked Gertrude down’  and we burst in laughter and the ‘remember when’ gets contagious and we start relaying all the funny, stupid and scary things they got up to this holiday.  And the sad curtain starts to lift and we are back to our good spirits and off we go into the darkness on our journey back to reality – home – work and school.  But the sadness a mother experiences when having another child grow up and get independent so quickly eats at me, I put it deep inside as I must now be strong, act strong and all that other crap we fool ourselves with to just function again on at least 3 cylinders.  It is these times you actually wished you had an ‘other half’. Be it a boyfriend, fiancé or husband.  Then you could fall into their arms, put your head on their shoulders and just cry your heart out.  But due to unforeseen circumstances like cheating on your wife or just being an outright asshole on their part, I have neither and by choice I might add.  So I swallow the big lump in my throat, try and avoid the now painful hole in my heart and carry on being a single mom.  I allow myself a smile for being so proud of myself that I have still got some sort of sanity and still standing.  “You go girl, we will get through this like every else we have had to face alone” I quietly say to myself and light another smoke and stare at the long road ahead.

 

 

 

 

We finally reach Witbank in the early hours of Sunday morning to a shock that will get anyone wide awake at 6h00.  As I pull into our garage I see that my clothes and Collins is strewed on the grass.  As soon as I got the car off Collin and I jump out.  My front door to our little cottage is standing wide open.  The mist rises from my brain and screams to me ‘you have been robbed’ we enter our little garden and see the mess.  I immediately push Collin behind me in a protective manner.  Now I must explain the joke on this little situation.  As I stated before I am on the short side, ok very short.  I stand at 5 foot 4.  Now Collin being my little baby, my youngest is not a small child.  My mother refers to him as her gentle giant. He towers me by 3 heads.  I have a very strapping young son that is not only tall but well built as well. So you can imagine the picture.  Here I am pushing my son behind me to protect him for just in case the robbers are still in the house.  What am I protecting – his knee caps or hips maybe!!!!  Thinking this protection I can offer Collin I tell him to stay back.  I approach the door from a distance, peering in to see if I can spot any movement while at the same time call the police.  Nothing as I suspected, the house is empty of any robbers.  We enter just as the police finally get my right address.  The cottage is very small.  Not like in the English movies where they refer to a cottage and when you see it, it’s the size of a castle.  It’s a very small sort of 2 bedroom cottage, open plan kitchen – come sitting room, a bathroom that consists of a shower, a basin and a loo.  My cottage is situated at the back of a yard that has another house on it.  It’s quite common here.  I have a little brick wall around my cottage and have a small garden.  The cottage is a thatched roof and looks like a witch lives here; I love it and so does Collin.  The rent is affordable and the area is nice.

 

We force our way in as everything is thrown all over the place, the very untidy robbers decided lets play havoc here and see how much we can scatter just to see if we can cover all of the floor with our belongings.  To my utter surprise the police arrive there an hour later.  Usually you would wait at least 4 – 6 hours before they grace you with their presence.  They take statements and dust for fingerprints.  And they leave to clean the mess and try and make heads or tails of what is left. 

The only valuable things they stole was my leather jacket I got from my sister that belonged to my dad and all my work clothes and the remainder of Collins clothes he did not take on holiday and all our food!  Collin helps where he can but I can see the exhaustion of the drive back from the coast is playing havoc in his co-ordination.  I tell him to go rest and I will carry on.  He insists on taking all our belongings out of the car first and hits the bed with a mission.  He was in lala land before the kettle even boiled for some well earned coffee.

 

At 18h00 that night I had restored order to our invaded home.  Collin awake from his fitful sleep to the rumble in his stomach.  We decide enough was enough and that this whole incident qualifies for take-aways.  We both look at each other and just burst out laughing.  They poor robbers did not have much to steal.  The stupid bastards chose the poorest house to break in.  We both agreed that it would have been fun to see the expressions on their faces, when they took all the effort and time to break open our security gate just to find a bunch of useless items.  Collin and I decided we were not going to go into all sorts of “we were victims of a crime’ stuff and just be thankful that this happened while we were not at home.  We wrote off our loss and got on with our lives.

 

 

It took us a week to get out of holiday mode and back to reality.  Collin had just gotten his new set of DVD’s (he does home schooling) and we set it up on his computer so that he is ready to start when the school term opened.

 

The following weekend we decide to go to the movies.  I invite my nephew Shaun and Niece Elize to join us.  Now in Witbank, which is supposed to be a city there is not much in the line of entertainment.  We have on got ‘The Ridge’ it consists of a few restaurants, 3 movie houses, a casino and a gaming area for the kids with a putt-putt course.

 

Elize and Shaun arrive early on Saturday afternoon and we all get ready for our night out.  Elize and I are in giggles and we pretend that for the night I will be her elder sister.  We dolly up and the boys are chasing us along.  Now Elize has just hit her teenage stages and we giggle at the thought of us being sisters.  We head off the “The Ridge’ all excited and happy to be out on a Saturday afternoon.  At least back at work I can also I did not stay in on Saturday; I did not have to into detail that I was not out on a date!

 

We stand staring at the huge posters they have up on what movie is showing.  There is a love story we all agree upon that we would NOT be watching, some strange action movie and a horror.  The three of them look at me with pleading in their eyes.  I don’t really like watching horrors.  I am more a funny movie type.  But I though, live a little, show the kids you are not old and decrepit and still got it.  I get us the tickets and Collin and Shaun to get the popcorn while Elize and I go get cool drinks.

 

We enter or movie house and find our seats.  We are seated near the front.  The lights dim and the movie starts.  I have this guy sitting next to me and start smiling with my imagination running of in all directions.  Maybe this is the love of my life, my soul mate.  It happens in the movies- give me a break.  I sit and think of all the people that meet in a dark movie house, their elbows touch, he offers her some of his pop corn. She offers him some of her chocolates.  They make silly little comments about the movie even they were not paying attention to any of it.  They later get a glimpse of each other when something bright flashes on the huge screen and they look lovingly into each other’s eyes, lean slowly forward and kiss.  And they lived happily ever after.

 

My hopes are up; maybe this is the man I have been waiting for.  Fate has brought us together, at long last.  I mean I don’t go watch a horror movie.  What made me decide on this night, on this movie, it had to be fate?  So I wait patiently for the bright flash on the screen.  The flash arrives much later but I get a glimpse of my new found soul mate!  Oh my word.  What a shock I got.  My bubble burst into a million pieces.  He was all cuddled up with his girlfriend / wife.  He felt my stare and looked at me as if to ask if that look on my face is normal or do I always look as if I just stepped down from an invisible step and felt your back teeth crack on the downward spiral.  I returned my dumb found face back to the screen.  And then had a quick reality check.  I don’t even know of anyone, not even in my family that met anyone they even dated at the movies.  Only lonely people who are desperate for a date go to the movies and sit there hoping for their prince charming to, by forces far beyond our control or understanding, be seated next to us and declare their undying love for you.  Sometimes my thinking is quite pathetic, very romantic but quite pathetic.  I wonder if there is a pill that can cure me of this condition?

 

So I concentrate on the movie, next bad idea.  I was scare shitless!  There is this scene where the deranged woman-thing is crawling under the sheet on the bed, the next minute she jumps out of the mirror which is used as the headboard of the bed.  I jerk so hard that most of my popcorn landed on the poor sod in front of me.  Collin who was seated next to Elize nearly got kicked out of his chair by the person who sat behind him.  Shaun decided to baptise the guy next to him with his Cool drink.  Then I packed up laughing, I had this though. Imagine if you played that exact scene again and you could see clearly over the whole movie house and could record the whole event.  All you would see is people sitting back in their seats, the next minute you just see this sudden shock wave, like and electrical shock jump from everyone and the popcorn flying and cool drink sailing after it. 

 

Now that would be something to see.  You must excuse me, you see, I have this very very powerful gift or curse, it’s called a very huge imagination.

 

So here we have the whole movie house in the state of ‘pass-out’, hyperventilation and hysteria and I am laughing my head off.  Hence another very rude stare from my once “soul mate’ seated next to me.  I am sure by this moment in time he thought I was some lunatic that had escaped her straight jacket!

 

After we all filed out of the movie house I got a good look at Collin, Shaun and Elise’s faces!  A whiter shade of pale would not come close.  And apparently at their looks mine was not better.  It was really a crappy movie and seriously disturb.  I opted that we go have some coffee at the Wimpey to settle our nerves.  We all three started the conversation simultaneously.  We stopped and started again simultaneously.  That was our ice breaker.  We had a good laugh and decided it was time for home. Needless to say the walk back to where I had parked my car was a very hasty walk or shall I say half jog!  And that night we all decided that seeing that the love we share for each other we would all camp out in the lounge, cuddled up very closely.  And to this day not one of us will openly admit to how scared we were that night.  Conclusion – stick to comedies, much safer for the wellbeing of my heart!  And anyway, who wants to meet her soul mate if he is watching such an awful movie.  It looks, to me, that fate had intervened and saved me marrying an axe murderer or psychopath!!  So after this weekend I can still carry the name tag of “single’ yet again.

As the months grew on I was now informed that my eldest son, Steward has proposed to my dear darling Helenca.  As much as I love them both the thought of her being pregnant did cross my mind for a millisecond, yeah I know but I am a mother after all.  But that was not the case.  So I put in for leave at work and informed Collin that we will be heading to the coast again in 2 weeks for the engagement party.  It was a theme party. Dress as anything in the years 60’s or 70’s, as most of their parties are theme parties and a great deal of fun, Collin and I set our imaginations free. 

 

Now this is the part where I scare myself.  Let me explain.  Being single you can really splurge at a theme party.  Dress really up and flirt and get a bit tidily and blame it all on the electric atmosphere of the party.  So idiot me decides with the help of Helenca and her mom we would go as these really funny characters from a show in our days – hence the 70’s.  It was two really stupid crazy goofy guys that wore oversized shoes and bowler hats, nearly like a trashy version of Charlie Chaplin.  So that was what we were going as ‘ Sol and Gobbelê’  Collin decided on Bob Marley and we spent the next 2 weeks getting out outfits together.

 

Only when we had arrived at the South Coast again, did it strike me that I could have gone as this really sexy flower power butterfly child.  But no, this brain of mine has been operating on the fun side of the evening, your son is getting engaged that evening and not one drop of thought for the single side of myself!  Well too late now, I am here and will have to fly with what I have.

 

It was so great to see Brian and Steward again, it had only been a few months that we last spent Christmas here, but to me it felt much much longer. 

 

Unfortunately I could only take a few days off from work, so I had to spend as much time with the kids as possible.  Well with Brian as Steward and Helenca where working at the tavern and slept most of the day.  I offered my assistance to decorate the hall, which was adjacent to the tavern where the kids worked.  But I was assured that all has been taken care of and can enjoy a bit of the beach before I have to go back home.

 

Well the evening of the great party had arrived.  I had to paint Brian and Bernard’s face like the band ‘Kiss’  White faces with black stars and stripes.  It took me forever but they looked good.  Gertrude and my mom went as disco queens and I helped get Collin into his Bob Marley hair.  My outfit was easy, my sons grey school pants, shirt, plus his shoes and my uncles’ braces and bowtie with a bowler hat, well my addition to a bowler hat.  We were all set and headed off to the tavern.

 

What a lovely surprise.  The hall was done up so funky.  We greeted all and commented on everyone’s outfits.  Steward and Helenca had dressed up as hippies with flowers and colourful shirts.  We had Elvis and Pricilla, a few more hippies and some lost in the ‘70’s’ with small little dresses and big white boots.  It was a scream seeing everyone all dolled up for the engagement party.  I had a bit of difficulty dancing as I had my son’s boots on.  He being a size 8 and myself a size 4!    As hard as everyone partied so hard did my sister and I drink.  The funny bit of the evening was going to buy myself, my mom and sister each a drink at the bar.  Now the bar was separate from the hall where we had the party.  And normally I do not just walk up to a bar and order drinks.  I have this thing about it; don’t quite know what it is but I just hate it.  But seeing that these where all my old locals, my son knew most of the customers I thought it would be fine.  Big mistake.  Now dressed as I was I suppose I did bring across the wrong look.  I walk up to the first spot open at the bar and w