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“On the couch, he's on the couch.”
Now I heard a faint snoring emanating from a couch at the far end of the vast room.
“Somebody's asleep there,” I exclaimed, though quietly.
“It is a man. Five foot six inches in height and weighing seven and a half stones.”
Once again I was amazed at the great detective’s abilities but that was not what brought my next statement.
“Incredible!”
“I told you my hearing was finely honed.”
“No, his height to weight ratio. Must be a skinny fellow.”
In the murk we could just discern the shape of the fellow’s body on the couch. Suddenly it moved and he sat up.
“Who is there?” a Spanish accent voice, which I recognised, asked.
“Dear God, it's the Spaniard, Montoya. What shall we do?”
“Can't slip out, we'll have to bluff it,” Holms whispered, before raising his voice. “Good evening, Mr Montoya, we've come for that autograph.”
Montoya’s hands moved to his face as he rubbed his eyes. “You crazy English fans, you don't let Rodrigo sleep, but Rodrigo, he loves you.”
“We love you too, Mr Rodrigo,” I said, which was a mistake.
“I know your voice,” the Spaniard said, standing up. “You crazy stalker who punch Rodrigo. I call security.”
Holms stood too and faced the smaller man. “No, no, Mr Montoya, we are detectives, searching for Jimmy Henderson.”
“You search the Jimmy?” the Spaniard asked warily.
“Yes, yes,” I cried desperately.
“Where the Jimmy?” Montoya asked.
“He's missing,” Holms said, “You must have noticed he's not been at training.”
“Rodrigo no notice, The Jimmy, he move fast. Best sprinter at club.”
“We fear he has been kidnapped, Mr Montoya,” Holms explained.
“The Jimmy, he kidnap? No.”
“The Jimmy, he kidnap, yes,” I answered.
“Why you look here, the Jimmy no here?”
“We were just checking,” Holms said casually.
“Hah, you think we Spanish, we take the Jimmy.”
“Not at all,” I protested.
“Rodrigo, he no daftie. You thinking Spanish take the Jimmy so he no play against Espana.”
“We never thought any such thing,” I protested even more vehemently.
“We not do such thing. We are proud peoples. We beat you fairy and squarey.”