It was another busy evening, flirting and making eyes with beautiful enemy agents. I know. I know, it’s a tough job but someone has to do it.

Yeah, some say that I’m a secret agent but honestly, nothing I ever do is that secret. In any case, back to the case. During our pleasant little gathering of agents we quickly moved past the preliminary pleasantries to a more passionate relationship. I tell ya, these enemy agents move fast, not at all like travel agents. The fight was a pretty good workout. I actually find that these fights are good for my physique…anyway, you know the basics of a fight. I don’t need to explain it. Fists flew, chairs flew and even logic flew out the window. Before long I had managed to escape the clutches of my enemies and found myself tip-toeing into a darkened hallway.

Safety on the job is always a priority with me, so I glanced both ways as I entered the hallway in order to avoid oncoming traffic from other escaping secret agents. My word! The traffic was horrendous! It was as if all the agents in the building decided to escape from each other at the same time. Anyhoo, five minutes later, after the hall had finally cleared out, I began running for my life.

Well, let’s be honest, I was also running for the opportunity to purchase a cheeseburger at the little fast food joint just outside the gates of the dark castle of doom. I don’t want to belabor that point though.

It was as I ran that the thought came to me, the radical thought that perhaps, just perhaps, flirting with enemy agents is flirting with disaster. Even as this brainwave waved through my brain, I tripped on a loosely tied shoelace and went tumbling head over heels down a spiral staircase. As usual, I landed right at the feet of the criminal mastermind behind all the wicked things that had already happened during the evening.

As I stared up at that bald headed fiend towering over me, I decided that before attacking him and thereby saving the world from destruction, the right thing to do would to be a gentleman and introduce myself. “Hello friend, they call me Blonde, James Blonde…”