The Joy of Stupidity by Kelvin Bueckert - HTML preview

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4-Stupid Excuses!

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Excuse 1: But what will people think?

Stupid Answer That Some People Might Use to Reply to This: If what you do will provoke unthinking people to thought, is that not a good reason for action?

Example: Them newfangled automobiles ain’t gonna last but watchin them putter along sure makes me think about how much I like my horse. I tell ya, if all them idiots in town hadn’t taken that risk of drivin those automobiles today, I wouldn’t be thinkin bout my horse right now.

Excuse 2: But that’s not the way we always used to do it!

Stupid Answer That Some People Might Use to Reply to This: And that my friend, may be exactly why you should do something new for a change.

Example: I tell ya, I always used ta do my ice fishin in November on one inch of ice. My grandpappy always did it that way and his grandpappy before him. Still, when I started doin my ice fishin in January fishin started goin a whole lot better for me. Truth is, somedays I still miss that thrashin about and almost drownin in the lake. That’s when the wife reminds me that I got the family photo album ta remind me of all the good times we had when the ice broke while we were fishin. Yep, them were the days alright but I sure don’t wanna be goin back there.

Excuse 3: The liberals, conservatives, vegetarians, radicals, libertarians, regurgatarians*, aliens, anarchists, astrophysicisists**, and/or Archie comic book artists won’t let me do or say that.

Stupid Answer That Some People Might Use to Reply to This: Maybe so but most of the time in western society, the reason something doesn’t happen on a local level, in our personal lives, is because somebody makes an excuse for doing nothing instead of actually doing something.

Example: Oh, I better get goin, the wife just yelled at me ta stop foolin around with book writin an get on over to that supper table. I tell ya, that’s an order I know I’m better off obayin. ***


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*An imaginary word but its fun to imagine a regurgatarian isn’t it?

**A misspelled word but the anarchists won’t let me change it. According to them, every letter in a word should be free to find its own order and meaning.

***This story is a work of fiction. No husbands were harmed during the writing of it.