It felt like we had just been there the week before meeting Elly’s grandparents, announcing our relationship and Andrew all in one go. It wasn’t though and today we were heading past the Mother’s little abode and on towards her Granny’s and Aunt’s. I wasn’t sure who owned what exactly but there was a big house where her Aunt, Uncle and two cousins lived then a smaller, older building. If I wanted to be nice I would call it a cottage, if I wanted to be horrible it might be reminder of the bombing.
There were a lot of other buildings on the huge farm, some housed equipment, some workers and others fruits. As we got out of our rented car, three young puppies swarmed around our feet; two black and brown, one completely brown but all as cute as a button. I had wanted a dog for as long as I could remember. I got one for a birthday when I was four or five but it died within a week. When we were older, me and my brother’s shared a hairy little black thing that we called Meg. She was lovely and taught me a lot about responsibility so I thought a dog would be a good idea for Andrew.
“Are these your Aunt’s?” I asked.
“No. They are village dogs.” She replied.
That was a nice sounding idea. Dogs that the whole village looked after and cared for very lovingly. The reality was that they were strays that nobody loved or really cared for. They would literally live off the fruit of the land and be given scraps and water. This wasn’t the city or civilization as I knew it. Elly told me to leave them and we first went to the dilapidated hut that her grandparents inhabited. Granny smiled as she made her way over to hug Elly then me. The old man gave me a stiff hand shake and pulled me in for kisses on each cheek, how French.
We were offered tea and cake, I looked at Elly for guidance and she refused explaining that we would be going over to her aunts. A small conversation followed and I just took in the small living space. There was a rudimentary stove system which was powered by fire, not gas but wood and cardboard. It was impressive because I’d never seen such a thing before but also a stark reminder of how different life could be inside the EU.
We said goodbye but promised to return before we left proper and made our way over to the big house. This was very modern and we were met at the door by Elly’s Aunt. She was a typical middle aged Aunt. She hugged Elly and kissed both cheeks and then smiled at me. She invited us in and shoo-ed away the puppies who were desperate to get into the warmth. Once inside we took off our shoes and I declined a communal pair of slippers. There was a large wooden stair case which seemed excessively varnished. The large hall led to several different rooms, each spacious and very homely. The kitchen looked like something out of Hunter’s Wives magazine and I could imagine Elly’s Aunt gutting a fish or skinning the bounty of the hunt.
Soon a little urchin appeared and was grinning manically at Elly. He held out a grubby paw to me which I shook and then nodded and smiled at him. His head slopped off the left and he had a weird sound to his pronunciation. All the emphasis was in the middle and it sounded like he was vomiting his words rather than speaking. As we entered the room where the TV was playing, Elly’s Uncle looked up and smiled. He was laid out across the couch and suddenly rose to meet us. We shook hands and I admired his quiff. It may have been stylish in his youth but now it had the unmistakable style of faded Dad. I bet he loved to get up and dance at family parties as well. He said something to Elly and motioned to me. They both laughed and then she took out Andrew’s picture.
“What was so funny?” I asked.
“He asked who was pregnant, me or you.” She said.
It was true, since arriving in Poland I had put on a few pounds, well in Poland they measured it in kilos and I had put on a few of them as well. It was a lie I told myself but I thought I was busy. I knew busy and my life was pretty empty at the time. I always worked better to a tight schedule than an open ended deadline. I thought that I should go on a diet and start running again, maybe even take up yoga or some shit like that.
I was ushered out of the TV room and into a room with a long table. We were joined by Elly’s other cousin a thin tall kid of about sixteen or seventeen. He made his way over and shook my hand, I immediately liked him more than his brother. I don’t care that people say you shouldn’t judge other people by how they look, it is a very good indicator of personality, you just need to know what to look for.
Someone who is dirty or unkempt maybe having a bad day or they may lack self esteem, they may even be depressed. Someone with good posture, who looks you in the eye is generally confident and confident people achieve more. I could go on but I firmly believe that appearances really do let us know things about others. You would be foolish only to judge on appearance or to refuse to change your assessment once you have fresh evidence of a person’s character but when you know nothing else, your eyes can help you see.
At the table I just sat and nodded as the conversation happened around me. Elly was happy, so I was happy. There is tea, with tea leaves or granules or something in the bottom which shouldn’t be drunk, cake, cake and more cake, cold meat, bread, various salads, all of which had been unhelpfully encased in mayonnaise. As everyone talked and feasted I tried a few different things. The bread was softer in the centre than I had experienced so far in Poland but I longed for Hovis.
I got self-conscious as they all looked at me and laughed. I was their jester, there to amuse them so I smiled and laughed a little too, at what? I don’t know.
They might have been nervous or just enjoying the superiority over a foreigner.
Elly forced more cake on me and her Uncle produced a bottle of liquor, maybe vodka. We drank, Granny and Granddad joined in. It was some kind of flavoured vodka. I prayed it wasn’t a home brew made in their bath that would make me delusional or blind. Another round of vodkas and I was counting down the minutes until we could get back in the car and head home to Warsaw, back to civilisation.
The thought of Warsaw representing civilization made me sad. It was an ok city but it didn’t offer anything more than Leeds did, actually I preferred Leeds. The house prices were better, the wages were higher and opportunities more plenteousness. The only thing Poland had in its favour was Elly. That was enough though.
There was silence for what felt like an eternity and the half an hour of chatting must have been enough time to catch up on all the village gossip. I doubted that Elly told her family too much about what happened in England and our story of how we met had been simplified to ‘through the internet’. Everyone assumed a dating site and we didn’t correct them, usually we shared a giggle about it.
Elly excused us and said she wanted to show me around the grounds. I needed the fresh air and my legs were glad to be moving too. As we got outside and headed towards what Elly described as a river, more or a trickle, I breathed in deep. I remembered as a child my Dad would always breathe in deep at the smell of cow shit and proclaim it to be fresh air, this didn’t smell like cow shit exactly but whatever was wafting off the ‘river’ gave the impression of freshness.
The annoying imp had followed us out and continued to scuttle around us like an expectant puppy. We stopped in a woodland and as I looked at Elly I noticed the imp scamper back towards his house. I took the chance and pressed her up against a tree for a long, meaningful kiss. The trees were tall and thin like her and I wrapped my arms around the bark and trapped her. The next thing we knew, when we opened our eyes after that kiss, that perfect, peaceful kiss was her diminutive cousin bounding back from the house with a hunting blade in his hand and a goofy look across his face.
He started to hack wildly at one of the trees. Elly wasn’t as taken a back as I was and she took the blade off him and skilfully separated the bark from the tree without damaging it. They continued to do this for some time and then picked up the bark and carried it back to the house. He was practically skipping back to the house with the blade wildly thrusting back and forth, I held Elly’s hand for protection and comfort.
When we went back into the vodka and cake room we saw that Elly’s Mum had arrived along with another Aunt. Everybody hugged and kissed, then smiled at me. That was all Elly’s Mother’s side of the family except Marvin who wasn’t missed. I heard his name a few times during the conversation and each time Granddad screwed up his face. It made me laugh but obviously Granddad was a better judge than me and I felt he confirmed my fears. I wondered what he really thought of the youngest member of the clan.
We had planned to go and see other members of Elly’s family that afternoon and then return to Warsaw in the evening but her family didn’t want us to leave.
Every time we got up to go they said, “Are you going already?” Even when Elly got up to use the bathroom they started to say it to her. When she got back from the toilet there was a hushed muttering and they all looked very pleased with themselves. I was sat there like a panda trying to work chopsticks.
Suddenly Elly’s Mum spat something out and everybody cheered, Elly looked surprised and then her Uncle shook my hand, followed soon after by the simpering mite.
“What’s happening?” I asked bemused.
“My Mum is giving us a house.” She replied.
“Holy shit!” I gave her Mum a big hug and everyone seemed happy.
Wait.
I had seen their houses.
“What kind of house? Where? How does she have the money?”
It seemed unreal and I didn’t want to be a country bumpkin, Warsaw was rural enough in most aspects.
She explained that her Mum and Dad had started to build a house just outside Warsaw before her Dad died. It had stayed there untouched for about twenty years and was basically a shell that was missing doors and windows. It had plumbing and most of the electrical works done but there was no floor, just concrete.
Our family needed a house and we had saved some money but outfitting a house with everything was going to be a chore. I relished a bit of manual labour, not too much but a little bit was a nice contrast to the boredom of office life. It seemed that we were staying in Poland. I was going to have to try harder at work and even begin learning the language.
We ate again then of course washed it down with another round of vodkas before we finally made our exit. This time everyone gave me a hug and a kiss as well as Elly. It hadn’t been long since I’d spilt Granddad’s soup but I think he really liked me now.
A few months ago I was single and could have been fired after ranting at my boss. Now I had a fantastic woman pregnant, was a country manager and seemingly had my first home.