The Song Between Her Legs by Lance Manion - HTML preview

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advice from a dodo

The people who piss me off the most are the ones that tell you how lucky you are to have been born in the country you were born in or born into the family that you have. It just shows such a profound lack of understanding of what's going on around them that it's everything I can do not to break their necks like people do in all those kung fu movies.

“You're just lucky you weren't born in Africa.”

Snap!

We don't start out as souls hovering on the edges of time waiting for the next baby to insert ourselves into. We're here because of a decision two people made. We are the product of a sex act and our genetic material is made up of those two people. And the two people who created them and the two people who made them. We are the echoes of thousands of decisions made since mankind decided to stand erect and begin waltzing around the planet.

In other words, I could only have been born in Africa if my parents happened to be in Africa nine months after humping.

There might be a small element of chance as to which chromosomes made it through the heads or tails selection process but other than that we are here because of a single act of procreation. Intended or otherwise. As hard as it might be to believe when you look in the mirror, we are the result of natural selection, not some cosmic throw of the dice.

This fundamental flaw in reasoning also goes a long way in explains why those same people hate professional gamblers so much. They think it's luck that they win so much money. They believe you have to play the hand you're dealt when every successful gambler will tell you that the cards you're dealt aren't as important as the cards everyone else thinks you have. They are so busy looking at their shitty hand it never occurs to them that most people are holding the same cards or worse.

It's at times like these when it's important to remember our friend the dodo. Before this bird went extinct it chose to become flightless. I would give my left nut to be able to fly and yet here is a bird that literally walked away from the opportunity. Perhaps things aren't always everything they are cracked up to be. The point, of course, isn't that this decision eventually caught up to this stupid fowl and directly led to its demise; it's that... sometimes... well... I forgot the point I was trying to make but be assured that it would have made you stop and think a bit.

I think it had something to do with the fact that sometimes you lose a hand even though you're holding bullets.

I remember a day recently where I went for a long walk. It was in the low 80's, light breeze, not a cloud in the sky. For some reason my legs seemed up to every challenge that the path could throw in front of me. Hills and valleys, downed trees and soggy ravines, none of these seemed a match for me. I could have walked forever it seemed. Every gulp of air was sweet and birds circled me and sang like I was in a Disney flick. For a little while I literally felt the road rise up to meet me.

I just wish I could hold on to that feeling forever, especially when the weather isn't as nice. Perhaps a dodo went on one of these walks back in the day and that's what made it give up flying, a thought that actually muddies the waters a bit but there it is. That's life in all its mystery I guess.

We're not accidentally here. There is a reason you're here despite my belief that there really isn't a reason that we're here. Following me so far? It's all pointless which makes it even more important that you find a point.

You are a collection of things you aspire to be and you gravitate towards people that buy into this persona. You have to put up with other people that see you differently but it's important that you keep these annoying individuals around because you never know who you'll end up being sometime down the road. Don't let the dodo dissuade you from aspiring to fly, just remember it might not be in the cards. Walk the walk either way, even if the temperature isn't in the low 80's. Even if your parents weren't born in Africa and you're on the hook for the expectations of their DNA.

And don't resent the gamblers. Learn from them.

You have a hand but sometimes in the high-stakes game of life it's ok to bluff.