Dear Willie,
I have a small problem I was hoping you might be able to help me with. The thing is I have recently started going out with a very nice girl, but the thing is she’s six foot two inches tall while I’m only five three and I’m afraid of heights.
Yours,
Tom, Wyoming
Dear Tommy,
I can’t see how that’s a ‘wee’ problem. Seems to me that’s eleven inches of a problem you’ve got there. You could try lying about your height but I reckon she’d see through that one. Also with your vertigo you’d be a danger climbing a stepladder to give her a kiss, what with nosebleeds and all that, so the best I can suggest is to check out if she’s got a shorter sister more suitable to your requirements.
Willie