Dear Willie,
My wife went to see a hypnotist to help her lose weight. This was successful and she lost the 10 lbs she had put on in the three years since we married. There has, however, been a side-effect to this treatment, and she is now infatuated with hypnotists. It has got to the point where she won’t go to bed with me unless I wave a pocket watch in front of her face. Can you help?
Tim, Oxford
Dear Tim,
This is a common problem as hypnotists often slip in a subliminal message when they’ve got you into a trance. This chap obviously fancied your wife and was trying to make a move on her. I would suggest (a) punching him on the nose and (b) tattooing a watch face onto your forehead.
Willie