Dear Willie,
We have a problem with sanitary arrangements in our household since we decided to share our bath water in an effort to save energy. The problem lies in who should get to use the bath water first, when it is clean.
Naturally, as a gentleman, I should insist that my wife takes precedence, but the nature of our jobs precludes this. I am a brain surgeon and she is a car mechanic. The thought of putting my almost sterile body into her filthy, greasy, bathwater repulses me and worries me in case I carry germs back to my patients. My wife, however, is insisting on ladies first. Could you suggest a compromise?”
Miguel, San Lobo
Dear Miguel,
You seem to be working under the misapprehension that your job is somehow more important than your wife’s, which is an utter nonsense, amigo. Human beings can function perfectly adequately with only half a brain whereas half a car is useless junk. So let your wife get washed and back under a Ford as soon as possible so we can keep the planet moving.
Willie