Dear Willie,
Are you the Scottish Willie who is saying that we French are ‘cheese eating surrender monkeys’? Merde, it is a lie! We French are the bravest of the brave and only have a Foreign Legion so that non-Frenchmen can have a chance to be as brave as us. Also it is not true that the avenues of Paris are lined with trees to shade the German soldiers as they march in. I despise you for your racism, it is the Italians who are cowards.
Jean Paul Chapeau, Marseille
Dear Jean Paul,
Non, non, mon ami, I am not the Willie you refer to. That one is Groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons TV documentary. We are only distantly related, and that through intercourse, as my father had a fling with his aunty in days gone by. I, myself, have a great respect for the martial capabilities of the French, especially your heavyweight boxing champion, Edith Piaf.
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Willie