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Dear Willie,
My boyfriend pays far too much attention to other girls when we go to parties together. He says he’s just flirting and it’s harmless, but I feel slighted and ignored. How can I get him to realise that if he truly loved me he should give me the attention I deserve?
Hannah, New Mexico
Dear Hannah,
There is only one way to solve this problem, but it is surefire and I can recommend it without fear of contradiction. The answer lies in magnets, and specifically electro-magnets as you want your boyfriend to come to your side when you want him and not be welded to you. Place a powerful electro-magnet, complete with battery, in your handbag, and a piece of steel in your boyfriend’s pocket. When you require his company, simply fire up your electro-magnet and he will be at your side in an instant.
Willie