Chapter 15- Yet another married SE
Just like for everyone else, my Marriage has been a ‘life changing’ moment for me. I still cherish the beautiful events of my marriage.
Indian marriages are as dramatic as Bollywood movies. On the D day, I was dressed extravagantly enough to be recognized as the Groom. And because I was an Indian groom, I had no permission to enjoy at my wedding. I was kept on a fast the whole day. I couldn’t dance on the dance floor. And I couldn’t even laugh aloud for the inconvenience caused to the photographer. Being the Groom, I was only allowed to watch my friends enjoy the food and show me their gratitude.
“It’s a lovely wedding, yaar(friend). I really enjoyed dancing. Also the Biriyani was awesome”
The experiences of my lady love were no different to mine. The marriage makeup had left her unrecognizable at first sight. Then she picked up her Leghenga(Indian skirt) and moved towards the stage when the photographer interrupted.
“Madam! Please don’t come so fast. I request you to go back and come slowly having a smile on your face.”
And so she came back slowly-slowly.
Once on stage we were greeted by friends and family members. When the first family came to meet us, we stood up and the photographer clicked our smiling picture with them. Then the same thing happened with the second family, the third family and so on. Towards the end of our ‘stage show’, my jaws were paining badly with the smiles.
On my marriage, I followed all the rituals faithfully as I thought that they were to be followed only for a day. But I was wrong. Our marriage rituals continued even after the marriage.
In our customs there is a ritual for everything. There is a ritual to stay away from bride the first night, a ritual for take bride away from her home and a ritual to feed wife in the new house. And if you happen to dislike any ritual then the uncle from far away, who never appeared before your marriage, would be offended and everyone would be talking about it.
Marriage and its after effects had left us exhausted. In only a few days my newlywed wife looked dull and I appeared grumpy. To spend some relaxing time together, we escaped to honeymoon destination in Thailand. It was a lovely and peaceful place. We had a great time enjoying and knowing each other well.
Yes, at times I would become a bit disturbed about my project and my team back in India. But then Trisha would soothe me with her joy and cheerfulness. In time, we started to find a balance in married life soon. Little did I know at that time that finding balance in life of a married SE, have serious detrimental effects on his ‘Bank Balance’.
“We should buy this jacket this for my uncle.” said Trisha
“But dear, you already bought a gift for him.” I replied
“Oh! That was for my other uncle.”
“Then which uncle are you talking about?”
“My other uncle who had came to attend our marriage. He was the bald one.”
“Sorry Trisha! I can’t remember your uncle. But do we have to buy so many gifts.”
“Yes, we should Rohit. They are our relatives after all. Besides, they came from far away for our marriage”
O yes! First the relatives would arrive. They would be taken care of well. Then they would inspect and speculate but not help with any wedding activities. And lastly they would impose all sorts of unheard ritual on you and take gifts in return as well.
All my US returned dollars started drowning in buying gifts and more gifts. Some of it was also spent leisurely in activities at the honeymoon. When I couldn’t take it longer, I had to explain my financial position to my wife.
At first she was surprised. But then, as a caring wife she understood my problem and pledged to enjoy the rest of our honeymoon without spending much. However, she had one curious question for me
“I thought that software engineers were paid well. Then how come get so less even after your promotion”
Ha-ha! that’s what the Non-SEs think.
Since then, we had some lovely time on our honeymoon. Yes, occasionally I would get a call regarding my project which would disturb me. But there was some peace in my life which I had never experienced before as an SE.
This was the peace before the storm as my project awaited me at my office. In my absence, my team had played leisurely with the project. As a premonition, I used to have nightmares that life won’t be easy when I am back.
We came back in a week’s time and took some time to settle down at home. Then Trisha took over the kitchen and school life while I joined my office. And just as expected, there were lots of issues at the office and many adjustment problems at home. However, I knew that we would find some balance in married life soon.
A month later, I found my salary depleting faster than before. I understood that it was the initial hiccup of my married life. Also, at the same time I found that staying back in the office was a bit more problematic than before. However, I had faith that we would find a balance in married life soon.
In the second month we tried to control our spending. But then, we also had three romantic dinners, two movies, and bought a couple of beauty items, jewelry and a nice shaving kit for me. I tried to complete my pending work at the office. But then I also had to go shopping for vegetables. And also I had to help in cooking Trisha… ahem! I mean, food prepared by her. And then as a real husband, I had to spend some time with her as well, Right! But I was sure that I would find a balance in married life soon.