SHE WILL NOT RETURN
I can no longer imagine the pain so deep
inside me,
But I sometimes can write in words for people
to see.
A pain that touches my toes and goes up to
the top of the ceiling,
I can't eat, I can't sleep, that is the pain that
my heart is feeling.
I was raised to stand on my own but this loss
is too much for me,
The situation gets tragic day by day with a
rough storm inside me.
To live alone without her is getting harder as
the time tortures me,
I now pretend to have her on my side and so
now she lives with me.
There is no sorrow so great and no pain so
deep for me to bear,
No one can find me the needed solace and has
time to spare.
There's no more crying and there is no more
shedding of tears for her,
Solutions for loneliness are in reading and
viewing what I create for her.
.
My heart has reached the limit of pain and
can take no more,
It is no use crying or lamenting on my loss
and increase my sore.
I spend my time with My Pretty Lotus as if she
never said goodbye,
She will not return to me no matter how many
oceans and rivers I cry.
LEAD A LONELY LIFE
It isn't possible to forget the morn I found my
Pretty Lotus dying,
It haunts, it pains and it gives me millions of
sorrowful crying.
She collapsed in the shower and I brought her
to our bed,
I pulled her gently to me and kissed her sweet
forehead.
All my training of first aid failed and I could
not save her,
The paramedics arrived on time but could not
do anything for her.
I looked at her and she told me that her time
had come to depart,
As if she was asking me to say my last
goodbye with my heart.
How could I do this injustice to my love so I
followed the ambulance?
She was wrapped with life support but I
couldn't bear that glance.
She was my Pretty Lotus, my life that I had
learnt to love dearly,
Now she was ready to depart and nothing
more could be done clearly.
I strolled the passage way of the emergency
centre like a mad man,
I prayed to every heavenly power to spare her
soul for this poor man.
Life is such when the time comes no one can
stop our departure,
I could hear my darling crying but it was the
wind of gesture.
The message came and we had to agree to let
her go forever,
She wanted to rest in peace and leave us for
her new world forever.
I closed my eyes and asked for sometime alone
with my love,
I spoke to her softly but do not know if she
made any move.
She was gone and I was left alone as lonely as
the lonesome man,
My heart, my body and my soul all ready to
finish my time span.
I existed but only in thought and with
memories of my loved one,
My beloved was gone; my life got cold andI was
left all alone.
My misery was all that remained; the dark
clouds covered my life,
My guiding light was gone and I mourned the
passing of my wife.
My beloved departed and had no more pain to
endure and suffer,
I was left behind with many questions and
whole life to suffer.
I am now longing to bring back all the fond
memories of my wife,
But it's all in vain when your love is no more
and I lead a lonely life.
MY LOVE, MY LIFE,
MY WORLD
Now that my Pretty Lotus is no more I lament
her passing away,
It gives me a chance to express my love gently
and in special way.
This is something that I really desire to do
each and every day,
The world may think this is madness but this
is how I now pray.
I want to continue to take the time and pursue
her passionately,
I had always promised to love her deeply and
compassionately.
I promise, I promise and I promise to do these
things so deeply,
My heart treasures a promise to keep loving
her so completely.
I promise to build this home for her to develop
an emotional purity,
Where our love, laughter and honest life feel a
sense of security.
I will find all the time for her, without her
there will be no time.
I love to cherish, honour, respect and admire
her loving shrine,
Time's put us on different paths but our souls
have merged on line.
The pain I have developed in my heart is
difficult to endure all alone,
Let me wake up each day to see her sweet
smile to feel her moan.
This will bring happiness and smile to make
me love her so much,
This will keep me connected with her and keep
feeling her touch.
I will love her and will treasure her memories
each day of my life,
I promise to keep her happy for she is still my
beloved wife.
My love has been true and I am still devoted to
love and care for you,
You are everything - my love, my life, my world
and this is true.