WHY WAS OUR FAMILY
LIFE SO SUCCESSFUL?
Saroj used to say that marriage was like a pair of scissors, two parts joined so they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, but always able to come together to punish anyone who tries to come between them.
A domestic engineer who happens to be a good and devoted wife should follow some simple initiations. “Just before your husband arrives home from work, clear away the clutter, make one last trip through the main part of the home, run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest.”
How to prepare yourself?
She advised the women who were wives and not working, “Take 15 minutes to rest so that you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting as his boring day may need a lift.”
“When he arrives home make him comfortable, have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing voice. Allow him to relax and unwind,” She said.
Of course, it would be advisable to plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and you are concerned about his needs, she concluded. Stay home husbands should do the same for the working wife.
Some Don’ts.
Saroj was a Senior Lecturer but always had some traditional views. She said that all the men would agree that this is what we expected from our wives. However, modern wives would not agree with her views and that is the reason for disagreements and increasing numbers of divorce.
Men on the other hand had to do a lot more to please and care for their wives, as my husband does for me, she used to say.
So Saroj blessed the newlyweds as they embarked on one of their life's most exciting, and interesting journeys thus:
While Saroj had these suggestions for others she was always conscious of these herself and guided me to be a good and respectful husband. I reciprocated many times when I arrived home from work before her. This was why we had a very successful family life of over half a century.
I am extremely proud of her words, thoughts, actions, character and loving heart. I miss her very much and I treasure her wisdom. This is some of what she said at a family wedding reception in 2008 in Vancouver, Canada.
“If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was and always will be
yours. If it never comes back, it never was.”
“Coming together is a beginning. Staying together is progress. Working together is success. When children find true love, Parents find true joy.”
“Here’s to your joy and ours from this day forward. Finally, may your happiness never end, like the circles of your wedding rings? And may your marriage be blessed with love, laughter and happiness. And soon the sounds of little feet begin running to surround you with love.”
“For this is what marriage gives us. This is what my husband and I achieved in almost fifty years of togetherness. Do not try to beat our record because we pledged that we would go on forever.”