Chapter Seven
How to Create Irresistible Offers That Sell
We are going to look at two things: copy and the offer. These things are highly connected of course. Copy refers to the text, the language that you choose to put in print, either offline or online.
I like to think of copy of what you verbalize. We spend a lot of time testing copy online to see what works, whether it’s in pay-per-click ads or sites and certainly sales letters. I find that most people don’t take that diction, that language and translate it into what they are actually saying.
I did a product with David Garfinkel, a well-known copywriter. He talked about the copy aspect of things. I talked about turning it into script, turning it into something you use as an outline for your conversations, in person, while networking, speaking from the stage, or on the phone.
Wouldn’t it be exciting if you could tie all those things together for your success? And don’t you feel it is best if you take the time to study just a little bit the generalities even of copy? If you’re going to hire or outsource, then you know what’s going on as well, what you’re buying and what your return on investment is going to be.
Rebecca West said, “There is no such thing as a conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues. That is all.” This really refers to human nature in that we all have a self interest. We all want to know what’s in it for me. We have this monologue going on inside of our head.
I think what we are suggesting here in terms of copy is that you are presenting a monologue where you are offering and having a conversation out loud and you are hoping that it syncs up with someone who has a problem or is looking for your book or looking for your business to bring them a solution.
Adeline Stephenson Jr., said, “Words calculated to catch everyone may catch no one.” This is about the specificity of copy. It is about targeting your market.
Dan Kennedy refers to this as message to market. If you try and catch everyone, it is like chasing two or three rabbits, you’ll catch none.
Really you want to come down with copy that uses language that your target market is used to; language that has keywords and phrases that they are looking for, that they understand and will attract just them.
So often we worry about what is slipping through our hands that we lose the other things that we could hold in our hands by worrying too much about that, so we are going to talk a little bit about that later on as we go forward in our copy.
Mark Twain said, “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.” Lightning can be so powerful, and the lightning bug, while a light source, is small and diminutive.
How can we choose the right words in our copy that are going to keep people attracted to what we are going to say next long enough to get them to what we are actually offering. Wouldn’t it be terrific if we could have the magnetic words that bring us money into our bank account?
I use postcards and greeting cards at www.CustomerCatcherCards.com. I’m finding that people actually enjoy receiving a postcard. They enjoy receiving a greeting card. Everything has become so electronic.
While we are talking about copy and certainly leveraging the power of the Internet based on cost, time, efficiency, 24/7 service, all those types of things, please don’t forget the power of paper.
The psychology of holding a newspaper, the feeling that people get of credibility from holding a newspaper or reading a magazine, or the personal touch of a postcard or a greeting card, those are all very powerful things that can contribute to somebody reading your copy.
Elements of Great Copy
Copywriting itself is a magnanimous task. Mistake #1 is that people use big words like magnanimous instead of just saying that it is a big task. We are going to talk about the generalities of copy.
If you can picture somebody playing the accordion, they squeeze it in and out. Whether or not you have five minutes in front of somebody live, or you have the ability to create it online and have what would be 40 pages printed out, all of these elements of copy can be worked in.
It is just a matter of how long you spend on each one and what your interest is. Wouldn’t it make a difference to your business if you could just take this template and apply it to each of the things?
Really the best way to become good at writing copy is to just start writing it and check on the results. Read copy of others, see how they are using it, see what attracts you, ask other people what they like.
You can pretty well go online and look up anything and find a sales letter based site to take a look at different types of sales letters. Another great copywriter is John Carlton. I use a lot of his information. He provides binders and binders of letters and templates. In the copywriting industry they call it a swipe file.
That is essentially taking an existing piece and making it your own. It is not plagiarizing or copying the words, but taking a look at the style in which it is presented. I’m going to refer back and forth to the sales letter found at IWantMyOwnRadioShow.com, so we have a standard we are working with.
Magnetic Headlines
The first thing that you need as an element of great copy is a magnetic headline. That is your biggest hook. Most people will argue that at least 80%, maybe even 90% of the task is grabbing people’s attention. If you don’t grab them and keep them, they are going to go away.
Regardless of the media you are presenting in the major headline, often online it is written in red, there is a sub-headline in black underneath it, another smaller headline, actually, before that one, but we’ll call it a pre-headline for now, where people present different information.
The one that we used on the IWantMyOwnRadioShow.com site: I Want To Help You Quickly Become The Host of Your Own Radio Show, Create Passive Streams of Income, Share Your Unique Message, and Profit From Being A Media Personality.
It is graphically online. The headline is in red. It stands out more. It is on a white background, very important. Everyone will pretty well tell you that reverse copy where you have white type on a black background or light type on a dark background is not as effective as black on white or dark navy blue on white.
There were a number of different elements in there. “Quickly Become The Host of Your Own Radio Show” – that would be the desire of someone who has a mission or message to share. A lot of these people are authors, speakers, and consultants, so individuals who are looking for a platform to share their message.
“Create Passive Streams of Income” – certainly attractive, income itself is strong, cash is probably a stronger word depending on which words you choose to use. Cash tends to be much more powerful than income and even profit. Passive is the implied less work, eventually for those streams of income.
“Unique Message” – refers to their ego, refers to their specific message, their book, their business, whatever it is.
“Profit From Being A Media Personality” – there is certainly some ego implied there, but it is more about fun, more about having a good time while sharing your mission, your message and your media.
But out of those things, those words are all together. What is magnetic about it? Is curiosity invoked? Is there excitement invoked? The bottom line is, “How do I get attention from people?”
Ted Nicholas is well-known copywriter. He’s written some great headlines. I’ve got some of them here. Let me share a few of them.
“Magic Words That Bring You Riches”
“How $7 Started Me On The Road to $35,000 A Year.”
“Do You Make These Mistakes in English?” is a really famous headline.
Now you can take your business, and fill in the blank, so, “Do You Make These Mistakes in Knitting?"
"Do You Make These Mistakes in Fly Fishing?” Lots of people are attracted to avoiding mistakes as much as they are to making money.
“Get Rid of Money Worries For Good.”
“Here’s How To Have A Long and Healthy Life.”
“How An S-Corporation Can Save You Tax.” There is specific educational based information. “Can You Talk About Books With The Rest of Them?”
“How I Become Popular Overnight.”
“How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling."
"What Makes A Consultant Successful?”
“How To Get Enthusiastic Applause, Even A Standing Ovation Every Time You Speak.”
The ‘How to’ is very powerful. Addressing the people specifically, remember, we refer back to the quote about not trying to catch everyone. ‘I’ is used when there is a personal story involved.
You’ve probably heard some of those. They are from a book How to Turn Words into Money: Leverage those Proven Magic Words into Millions by Ted Nicholas. The other book that Ted wrote and is really great is Magic Words that Bring you Riches.
Certainly the most powerful words to use in the headline are ‘you’, ‘free’. Do a search online for “40 top copywriting words” you will find that list that people use: discover, claim, all these sorts of short words.
Don’t Forget the Sub-Headline
The sub-headline is number two. The sub-headline on the IWantMyOwnRadioShow.com site is “Discover how ordinary people are catapulting themselves into niche fame almost overnight – without big budgets, technical expertise or any prior experience. With my help you can be a media star in your niche or industry today.”
Discover is a very powerful word. Alignment with people – how ordinary people – most people consider themselves ordinary. We are all working on being extraordinary, but in the back of our minds, we are all going, “Well, I’m just an average Joe. How can I do better?”
Align with people and avoid using ‘over-the-top’ language but do use high energy vocabulary. “Are catapulting themselves” – so that is rapid and massive change – catapulting – boom. Use words that are descriptive, that have pictures in your mind, and that is far more powerful.
Niche fame kind of refers to our target market. They understand what a niche is. They understand that they want fame to sell their books, and they need a platform to get their message out around the world. Then almost overnight is that guarantee of speed.
Then a dash, “– without big budgets, technical expertise or any prior experience.” That is handling objections. “Oh, I don’t have any money, I don’t have a big budget to host my own radio show, no technical expertise. I’ve been a project manager for years. I’ve trained in organizations on development. I don’t have any expertise in audio.”
Again, handling the objections, all those things done in literally three lines of words. “Discover how ordinary people are catapulting themselves into niche fame almost overnight – without big budgets, technical expertise or any prior experience.”
So the headline leads into the sub-headline, the sub-headline provides more definition and leads you into the next line. This is sort of Copywriting 101. Even if you’ve taken some copywriting courses, it is always good to revisit and touch on the common sense. I’d like you to work on the mindset if you’ve had copywriting training, to revisit that and make it stronger than it’s been before.
Isn't it stimulating to know that there is always something we can learn every day? Every day I drive by a billboard, or I see a sign on the side of a truck, or I watch a television show and I see direct marketing or HVC, you can do that too. Educate yourself by watching everything you see all day and see how it affects you.
Keep the Momentum
Number three is your opening statement or paragraph. How are you going to keep the momentum going? The opening statement or paragraph continues to draw the person in. In the opening statement or paragraph, we use bullets.
The opening statement was, “I’ll show you how to avoid critical mistakes and use radio the right way.” Then we use bullet points. People make a mistake in not using them. Bullet points are very effective.
The opening statement or paragraph, very often this is where people will start their first story. There’s a famous piece about a one-legged golfer who could swing and hit further than anybody else. There’s a curiosity there. If a one-legged person could do it, then why wouldn’t a two- footed person be able to do it just as well?
Testimonials Are Key
Next is a testimonial. I think it is great to lead with a testimonial right away. The testimonial we used right away had a picture of the President in the White House with somebody who had used Internet radio to promote their mission and message, Shauna Fleming, a 15 year old.
We’ve got a 15 year old girl in the White House standing next to the President receiving a commendation for the work she’s done with AMillionThanks.org, and that was to get a million messages.
Within the first few frames of the letter, we’ve got a testimonial of someone who’s had success with recognition for their effort. Testimonials, really, introducing one up front is great, but they should be sprinkled throughout.
A couple of tips on using testimonials are:
Online, we generally include them in lighter color background, like a yellow box. We include a picture. If you can include a picture of yourself and that person together, then that is powerful as well.
You could put a caption under the picture. We put it in quote marks and italics often. If the quote is long, then you should bold the benefits statement within the testimonial. Especially online, people are scanners. So the bold we put in the yellow box with Shauna was, "Doing an Internet radio show gives me the opportunity to tell people around the world…”
So it was reaching around the world with her message, the rest of the testimonial was just in regular italics, not bolded. If you go through the site, IWantMyOwnRadioShow.com , you’ll see examples of each of the testimonials there; we bold the most positive thing that they are saying.
If you are scanning, “gave me so much insight, so much information about how I could get into the industry as well, it transformed my life!” was bolded so your attention was quickly drawn to it.
We didn’t bold, “30 days after doing his first show and getting his information that I got my OWN show up in Seattle, WA, on KKNW 1150AM.” It’s all facts, right?
The other things we do is make headlines for the testimonials. So we will take the most convincing statement and we’ll put that in red and in quote marks at the top of the box.
So you’ll see Gregory Scott Reid at the top of his box for IWantMyOwnRadioShow.com. At the top of his box it says, “... it only took about 30 days ... I had my OWN show ... it transformed my life!"
Clearly State the Problem
There are a couple of reasons why you do this.
One is that you are showing them that you understand what the problem is, so you create empathy and you create alignment by letting the person reading know that you understand clearly what the problem is.
Another reason is, let’s call it agitation. People know they have a problem and they haven’t done anything about it yet. They may not be totally motivated to take action yet, but by you agitating their problem, their desire for action are increasing.
You want to take that problem and ask them, “Do you have this problem? Is this the exact way it happens?” And they are sitting there nodding again, that nodding, that momentum.
“Yes, I have back ache. Yes, I have spent money on a number of things, ointment, exercises, physical therapy. Nothing’s worked yet, different beds. They’re sitting there going “Yes, yes, that’s me. You understand my problem.”
Now you have them agitated. “Yes, it is painful, and I haven’t thought about it lately, even though I wake up every morning with a sore back.” So now I have them in a position to set them up to make an offer.
The Body Copy
This is where we do get into some of the factual elements of what it is. “Here’s what is in the program."
"It is an eight-part program."
"Here’s some of what you’ll learn in my radio show mentoring program.”
That’s where we list, using bullet pointed lists, what’s inside our program.
“Let me help you avoid the mistakes most new radio show hosts make.” So that is actually an example of presenting a problem. When people start down a new road they make mistakes and it costs them money, time, energy and effort.
Thirteen reasons to host your own talk show. The way you can tell a good copy is, for example, on the Web site, IWantMyOwnRadioShow.com, you just scan through it yourself. If you just read the main headline and the sub-headlines, you’d get the story.
“Help you quickly become the host of your own radio show…Increase your fame and fortune by hosting your own radio show, but only if you let me show you the right way to do it…Radio changed my life. Now I want to help you use it to change yours, too…13 reasons to host your own talk show.”
See if you get the feeling of the story through this example:
The Customer Catcher™ P.U.M.P. Marketing System
• You can host your own show right from the comfort of your own home or office.
• These days you can do a show on any topic.
• Worried you are not qualified? You are both right and wrong.
• Let me help you avoid the mistakes most people make.
• Internet radio or traditional radio? I’ll help you decide.
• Enroll in the program and in just eight weeks you’ll learn everything you need to know.
• Here’s just some of what you’ll learn.
• Here are the program details (and we list off each session.)
• You’ll learn and gain complete access (So we are repeating the benefits, a whole list of bullets how to show you this, show you that, a lot of how-to’s.)
• Enroll now and you’ll also receive unique valuable bonuses.
This is what people do, they scroll through, and they scan the thing. They got it in the mail in a direct mail piece and they do the same thing, read the sub-headlines, go to the P.S. and then come back to the details if they are still interested.
This is what you need to think ahead of time. How is the prospect reading your copy? The body copy is important. It’s the substance, the statistics, the features, benefits of your program. It is where a lot of people spend a lot their time, but it is kind of boring if people don’t already buy into the benefits and you as the provider of those.
Solutions and Values
Giving your customer a solution as to how your program best solves their problem is essential. This is where you can define the specifics a little more, not too deeply, but enough that they understand that this is going to solve their problem.
Establishing value is also important. There is a difference between value and price, set people up for the value. Lots of time this isn't included at all in copy work. People just throw out the price and because they’ve got a discount, they think that’s going to hurt people.
Let’s say you teach relationship – you have a relationship weekend for couples. By providing the value, you say, “How much does a divorce cost? How much does the strife and pain, how much does the counseling cost? How much has it cost you to date?”
You can quickly add up the tens of thousands, for some people, millions of dollars. So to spend $795 on a two-day weekend retreat or even $5,000 on a two-day weekend retreat is by comparison a good value.
It is not about price here. It is about relative positioning. You can do that by comparing to existing solutions and other competition that have higher prices. You can compare by adding up the number of weeks, years, months of time.
You can add up the expenses of other solutions that have failed. So going back to backache, you have a backache. You might have spent $1,000 on a mattress. You might have spent another $1,000 on physiotherapy. You might have spent another $500 on pills. So that is $2,500 right there.
Well, if I have a $197 home study guide, do you see the relative positioning now? “It’s $197. What do you have to lose? So $197 versus the $2,500 you’ve already invested and gotten no results.” There you go – that’s value.
How Does Price Fit In?
Pricing is an interesting thing in that sometimes the higher price will yield a higher result. Studies have been done where certain products and services will outsell others at $99 versus $69 because the perceived value of the reader. If not priced high enough, how could it possibly solve my problem? Or there is no quality there because it is so cheap.
You’ve got to test and track to establish the best price, but at the same time, if you establish the value, you can raise your prices. I encourage you to raise your price.
By taking a closer look at the value, you’ll find that you can raise your prices and be a lot more confident about it for yourself, but also in writing about it in your copy.
Guarantees Matter!
Guarantees are interesting things. It is all about risk reversal or risk removal. So there is no risk for the person to take the program because they can get their money back. It can be a conditional guarantee.
It can be a 100% money back guarantee, no questions asked. It can be better than 100% money back guarantee, where they keep the bonuses, and they get their money back.
Again, you can be very creative here in the guarantee. The main point is the more often you offer the guarantee, the better it is.
There is only one instance with all my clients where offering a guarantee reduced response rate. That was with pastors in the church community being offered a service to increase giving in the church. It was interesting. Again, this is why testing is important.
We thought a guarantee would really help put sales up and over the top. The feedback we were getting was that they basically thought it was crass that one would offer a guarantee for services that helped make money. So again, in a specific niche, in a specific environment, you may find anomalies where a guarantee doesn’t increase sales.
However, in most cases it does, because it takes away the risk from the prospect or the customer.
Bonuses Help Make Decisions
Bonuses are used essentially to push people over the edge. They are kind of wavering, they’re thinking about doing it, and this helps them decide.
One of the most important points about bonuses is that you should use bonuses that were at some point sold, have a retail value, do have high-perceived value.
Sometimes there are people who buy products or services because they want just one of the bonuses. They see their return on investment in just getting one of the bonuses. In the information marketing circle, being exposed to large amounts of traffic and other people is a great bonus.
If you are selling books, then you can put in a bookmark that has a discount off future books or other books in your writing circle. There are lots of different things you can do here in bonuses. Bonuses don’t all have to be from you, I think that should be a key that you should recognize.
Bonuses can be complimentary products or services that have a high-perceived value and a low cost for you to acquire. I’ve noticed a lot of people giving away their information on iPods now.
They are selling $2,500 seminars and copies of the audio are available on iPods. Not actually iPod’s brand name, but mp3 players. And those mp3 players cost them maybe $40 to load them up and everything.
Branding the box takes it up to $100, but in the meantime they are selling a $2,000 or greater product. It is worth it.
“Want One?”
The call to action is a weak part of most people’s copy. Sometimes it doesn’t even exist where an offer is made. Barney Zick is a great guy, big man, lots of character, big chubby guy, white hair; I believe a Texan, and quite a presence in spirit and in body.
His sales pitch in person and in writing copy was,
“Martin, you want a 20-second sales training?”
“Absolutely Barney.”
And he’d ask, “Here you go. Are you ready?”
I’d say, “Yeah.”
And he say, “Want one?” Just, “Want one?”
And that was a combined call to action and question together, but so many people lack this in their copy.
“Get involved. Click here. Sign up today. There’s a limited amount. There’s a limited supply.” There should be truth in this marketing, so there should be a limited supply. Often there is in information marketing consulting and coaching because people’s time is limited. If you are in that situation, then it is automatically created.
A call to action – and here’s where you can offer your first price discount or another steep price discount to the people to take action today and give them the reasons why you are going to be doing that. Again, you can sort of mention the price that you listed it at.
So let’s say you said that it was going to be $97, well, now it is only $67 for people who act today.
The P.S.
On the end of this template, is the P.S. The P.S. is really to grab attention again. It is to reinvigorate the reader and get them to go, “Yeah, I get it.” This is where you can review and restate the deal.
There are a couple of reasons for doing that. One is that you can state it another way and try to be more clear and simple about it. Two is, a lot of people will skip from the main headline right to the bottom to the P.S.
You basically get them coming from the headline, going, “Oh yeah, I do want to learn how to fly-fish in seven days.” They skip to the bottom, the read the P.S. which says, “You’ll receive a free DVD on fly-fishing, plus seven different flies for using in the northeast in the spring for catching salmon.”
Customer Catcher Tip: What you can do online is put links in the P.S. that actually take them back into the sales letter.
If you talk to your Webmaster, those things are called bookmarks. It is a link in the system, so that if says, “Free DVD on fly-fishing,” and they click on free DVD, it will pop back up in the page to the spot where we have a picture of the DVD case where we define what is in the DVD. So now it’s interactive, now I have them back in.
Working online with copy actually allows you a few opportunities and advantages. One is color, two is graphic design, so putting in pictures affordable as well. Pictures don’t always increase response rate.
The other is the ease and ability of the people to scroll through it, so you could have a longer sales letter as long as it is written, and there is no weight to it.
When you send direct mail, and it is a 40-page sales letter, people feel the weight. They align that with a sense of work, and it creates issues. So you want to make sure you check that out.
Audio is starting to play a role online. The difference between audio copy and scripting and written copy is that when someone reads your copy, they read it with their own tonality. They read it with their own emotion.
So you have to work harder at getting them to read it the way you want them to emotionally, versus audio. I can raise my voice, I can lower my voice, I can speed up, I can slow down. There are lots of different ways I can affect and influence, using my voice on audio. The other thing that is coming is video online.
Whether read, spoken, heard, the power of words is still number one. The words you choose are very important.
So that is really a copywriting template. If you want to go through any sales letter and kind of pick out these elements as you go, that will help you sort of reverse engineer a sales letter and see what is going on.
If It’s Boring, It’s Too Long
The biggest question in copywriting is, “How long should my copy be?” The answer to that question was never one page or ten pages or 43 pages. The answer to that question is that is should not be boring. The minute it becomes boring, it is too long.
Copy needs to be written to meet the objective, and that is to get people to sign up for your membership site, sell your books, join your radio show listener-ship, whatever it is, buy a specific product or service and have it delivered to your home.
All of those reasons are what copy is for, so keep your eye on the objective, “Don’t be boring.” I heard one person describe it as the fire brigade, and that is passing the bucket of water in the old days before hoses – it is a constant energy flow that keeps people listening.
“You think that’s