Our Hero Dinglebert

A “NOT FOR BED-TIME” FABLE FOR INTERNET MARKETERS

 

The Prelude To “Dreams NOT For Sale”

 

By

 

Tahir Shah

 

Copyright © 2007 Tahir Shah & www.no-hype-no-fluff.com
For Top Notch Ezine Solo Advertising Please Visit The Official Sponsors Of “Our Hero Dinglebert” HERE
THIS IS A FREE EBOOK – YOU HAVE FULL GIVE-AWAY RIGHTS!

 

Dear Reader,
You have full permission to Give Away This Ebook For FREE. This is a FREE ebook and you have full rights to give it away to whomever you choose.
It is a light-hearted look at a hard and cold reality. The new internet marketers, who despite trying method after method still find themselves struggling to make any real money online.
Unfortunately it’s not the minority of marketers in this position out there… It’s the VAST MAJORITY.

This ebook is the free prequel to the widely acclaimed and soon to be launched new ebook “Dreams NOT For Sale” which address the real issues of how to earn a real and substantial online income, and brings real money making strategies back within the firm grasp of the masses with all of the fluff and hype taken out. Just proven strategies that work. Make sure you get your copy!

Tahir Shah

 

PLEASE NOTE: The husband and wife in this story are purely fictitious – Any Resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

 

Buying The Dreams… (The ALMOST True Story Of Dinglebert And Martha Fluffkins)

 

Two months earlier… he couldn’t sleep.

 

The feeling of excitement… the feeling of pending fortunes was keeping him awake.

 

He had spent a couple of hundred dollars on a plug-in website – an online mall of beauty products with a built in shopping cart.

 

It was a total no brainer.

 

It was the best internet opportunity he was ever going to see, and he had just got into a multi-billion pound industry.

 

After all – which woman doesn’t want to buy great beauty products at even greater prices?

And the best thing was he didn’t have to ship any products over to his customers as it was a drop-ship supplier. They automatically processed the orders and he got his margin on the product that was sold. Anything from 10-50%

And setting it up, although it seemed complicated at first was a breeze. All he had to do was make a few changes to personalise it with his own details, his contact address and phone number… and he was in business.

Now, all he had to do was wait.

As people found out about the wonderful prices and the great products he would be swamped with orders – and more people would tell more people and they in turn would tell more people and by the end of the year he would be – well, let’s face it… rich.

Two months later

 

He couldn’t sleep.

 

The faces of everyone who he had told about his exciting new venture… Were now haunting him each time he closed his eyes.

His friends and even family… only a few weeks ago… when they asked “How are things going with the beauty products website?” seemed to be asking with genuine excitement and he would reply with just the same level of excitement in return.

Now, two months later and without a single sale it seemed that each time they asked him – they were poking fun at his failure.
“No” he reminded himself… “Not my failure… lack of success… got to stay positive…” but deep down he knew those words sound hollow. He barely believed them himself.

He felt like a failure.

 

“Another one of Dinglebert’s “pie-in-the-sky” ventures” as his wife Martha described it to her neighbour just the other day.

 

So Dinglebert stayed awake long after Martha has entered the land of Nod…

 

And he wondered where and why and how he had gone wrong.

 

No damned traffic.

 

“Put it up and they will come…” he had thought.

 

But they didn’t - You don’t get passing trade on the internet.

 

His website had been visited over 1578 times in the two months.

 

24 times by his friends and family -1554 times by him.

Finally he decided that it’s time to get something done. Didn’t matter now. By hook or by crook he would make this damned website successful. Okay… yes, that was it… think positive…

“Come on then all you negative forces conspiring against me… Let’s see what you’ve got… Game On...”

In the middle of the night, and with steadfast determination - Dinglebert made his way downstairs to his computer and switched it on, whilst murmuring… “Traffic… traffic… I need traffic…”

So Google it was.

 

He typed into the Google Search Box “I need traffic to my website”. It brought up quite a few returns but an AdWords Ad caught his eye.

 

You know the ads on the right had side of the search engine results? One of those.

 

“100,000 guaranteed visitors to your website $79” it read.

 

“That’s it! That’s exactly what I need!” Dinglebert declared as he clicked on the link.

On the website he learned about how the guaranteed traffic would be sent to his website and how the company actually over deliver by sending an extra 15,000 website hits just to ensure their customers are happy.
So he goes ahead and places his order… “Martha will be eating her own words…” he sniggers as he follows the after sales procedure telling him that he has to wait a couple of days for his account to be set up.

So he thinks, “Okay I’ll put a limited offer on, and put SALE next to every item – All 10,000 products – and reduce the price slightly…. It might take a bit of time… but I really need this to work, and with so many visitors, I want as many orders as I can get.”

So he starts working on it there and then…

 

Martha wakes up early as she normally does, and is surprised to find Dinglebert at the computer…

 

“Have you slept at all Dinny?” She always called him that.

 

“Dinglebert” to others – “Dinny” to him.

 

“Sleep’s for weaklings Marty...” Dinglebert chuckled.

 

He always called her that.

 

So for the next two days… Marty waited hand on foot to Dinny as he set to work putting the word “SALE” next to every item.

 

Four hours of sleep and then back up to work again.

“You’ll end up with square eyes staring at that bleeding’ monitor…” Martha warned him, agitation now showing in her voice. “What in heavens name are you doing anyway Dinny?”

“You’ll see... you’ll see…” Dinglebert promised.

He hadn’t told Martha about the 100,000 visitors yet. He wanted to surprise her when all the sales started rolling in. He had read on the sales website for the beauty products template when he purchased it that he could expect the major retailers to be furious at the fact that he was now competing with them at their own game with his own store offering a bigger and better range of quality products.

And when he became rich and famous and the next internet success, particularly now with over 100,000 people about to be unleashed onto his website…

He’d buy the kind of Ferrari he saw on the website that he bought the plug in store from… He’d fly to exotic locations as they depicted other owners of their stores doing... And he’d spend romantic nights with Martha on their brand new luxury Yacht... Ahh… That would all soon be his…

Oh yeah… and not forgetting the Tanzanite Ring that Marty loved and had seen on one of the shopping channels – He’d get her one of those!
These were brilliant… they started off at $25.000 but then were discounted by the TV computer down to $400 and then down further… what a bargain!

Just like the 100,000 hits thought Dinglebert… they were worth well over $1000 but right now, he had gotten them at a discounted price for only $79.

Dinglebert chuckled privately to himself. He could spot a bargain as good as the next man – or woman! Marty always told him he didn’t know how to spot one. She was wrong of course. He’d just got the best bargain ever with the guaranteed hits to his website.

An email told him that his traffic would start being delivered the next day.

 

That night he couldn’t sleep. He was so excited. The traffic was going to be delivered over a 7 day period to his website.

 

Another 24 hours and he would be in the serious cash.

 

SERIOUS CASH!

 

A Week Later – “Google What?”

“No you’re not spending any money on Google Advert Phrases!”
“It’s Google Ad-WORDS Marty…”
“I don’t care what they’re bleeding called… We haven’t got the money to waste!” “To waste? To WASTE? I’m trying to run a business here Marty… and I am paying for them… not you!”

Dinglebert couldn’t blame her… 100,000 hits and not a single sale!

 

How the hell could that be? Dinglebert knew he must have done something wrong… but he didn’t know what.

 

Maybe Martha was right. Maybe it was stupid throwing good money after bad.

 

But everyone was raving about Google AdWords. And if they were working for other people, surely they would work for him right?

 

Maybe it’s not the traffic. Maybe it’s the products.

 

Over the next couple of days, to Dinglebert, the website started looking uglier.

 

In fact Dinglebert realised he was hating even going on to it.

 

He’d definitely received all that traffic but not a single sale. What went wrong?

Dinglebert didn’t have the answer.
He considered ordering another 100,000 and taking the word “SALE” off the products he’d managed to get it alongside. He’d only gotten 1400 or so done so 8600 didn’t have the word SALE next to them.

Maybe people wondered why the rest of the products weren’t in the SALE?

 

Dinglebert couldn’t sleep that night.

 

He decided he needed to take a break from his internet business for a while.

 

Let the dust settle… Let Marty calm down… she just didn’t understand.

 

Two weeks later – “The MLM Program”

 

“Hey honey, come and watch this video… it’s brilliant…”

 

“I’m not interested Dinny… I’m putting these clothes in the washer… Where’s your blue shirt?”

“Wow… this does all the work for you… all you need to do is get two people to join up. And then you end up with over 5000 people below you and you get $10,000 a month every month for doing nothing!”

“Did you put it back in the wardrobe? Or did you put it in the washing basket? I can’t see it here...”

“And there’s this thing called leverage Marty, and you’re using OPM – Other Peoples Money! This is great… so really it doesn’t cost you anything in the long run… hey we only need two people… You could get Angus and Bertha to join!”

“And where is your other white sock? Why don’t you keep your socks together when you take them off Dinny?”

 

“Woah… if we join the Diamond Level Marty, it’s $25,000 a month we’ll get!”

 

Dinglebert was sold.

 

3 Months Later – “Damn Those Pesky Products!”

“Dinny… get them to stop sending these bottles of Builda-Life Juice and these damn Supra-Vita Capsules… How much are we paying for this stuff? You don’t even take them!”

“Yeah but we need to get them each month to qualify for the Diamond Level.” “I’m going to be selling my diamond ring to keep us at this Diamond level if this carries on any longer Dinny… Get them to stop it… it’s costing us a heck of a lot of money each month and you still haven’t earned anything yet…”

“That’s because I need to buy the qualified leads package I keep telling you about Marty… but you just don’t understand…”

 

“I’ll ring them myself then…”

 

“Okay okay… don’t worry… I’ll get them to stop.”

 

2 months later still – “Internet Marketing Training”

 

“I’m just on the second DVD Marty… you know what… this is all baloney… I learned all of this in the ebooks I bought a few weeks back..”

 

“Dinglebert Fluffkins – Don’t you tell me this is all baloney… You just paid over $500 for all of this… You better be telling me it’s the best $500 you have spent!”

“Well it is… but I could be teaching this… I’m too advanced for all of this Marty… This stuff is for newbies…I was teaching this to a new guy on a forum… he didn’t even know what an auto-send-out-machine was…”

“An Auto-what?”

 

“An Auto-Send-Out-Machine… oh look! The man in the DVD is talking about it now…”

 

“He’s saying Auto-Responder Dinny…not Auto-Send-Out-Machine…”

 

“Yeah well… erm… it’s kinda the same thing, I’m just using the more technical term…”

 

Another 3 months later – “Free Free – It’s All Free!”

 

“I’ve just got my own website Marty… And you’ll love this – it’s FREE!”

 

“Free? It’s the best word I’ve heard come out of your mouth all year Dinny!”

“Yes a free hosting provider. Found out about them in this ebook I purchased. I can put up that other ebook package that came with resell rights on this website. And the ad rotator thing I’ve joined will show my page loads of times so that should bring in a few sales.”
“That’s great Dinny…”

“Also I’ve found some free ad sites where I can list and advertise my site for free. And if I put some of the banners up at the top and bottom of the sales page, for the other two programs I’m involved in, people can click on them and go to them if they don’t like my resale rights offering… 3 chances of making a sale for free!”

“Oooh… that’s nice Dinny…”

“And I’ve been reading that ebook by “The Obnoxious Man” – he’s super rich and his ebook has sold like hotcakes… Everyone wants to be an “Obnoxious Man” – it’s crazy… but being “Obnoxious” really must work!”

“The Obnoxious Man? How peculiar…”

“Yeah – You remember the one who says “You’ll Never Be Like Me, Wannabes! Unless you read my book…” – Well I’ve got his book now, so that means soon enough I’ll be just like him. Big house, big car… holidays… sunshine… Ahh… The good life…”

“Yeah, I remember the one… But I’ll warn you Dinglebert Fluffkins – Don’t you be thinking about surrounding yourself with all the lovelies like he does… I’ll have your guts for garters!”

“Marty… There’s only one woman for me…”

 

“Awww… Dinny… You do know all the right things to say to a woman don’t you? I love you Dinny…”

 

“I love you too Marty…”

 

4 Months later Still – “My Google Page STANK – I Mean Rank”

“I need “Google Page Rank” Marty… I’ve only got a page rank of 1 – I can see where and why I’ve been going wrong… I Just downloaded the Google Toolbar and I can see… I’ve only got a low page rank…”

“Dinny, I am sick to my back teeth with all of this nonsense. It’s been over a year and you haven’t earned anything yet. I thought the “Obnoxious Man” was going to make you rich… but you haven’t earned anything yet. We’ve got all these bills that need paying Dinny… Your computer and your blasted internet aren’t going to pay for these… Can you just get that into your head?”

“Marty, I promise you, I just read about this new product that tells me how I can drive millions of website visitors to my website by getting higher page rank… Once I’ve ordered this… I’ll be making a fortune in no time… And I get all these AdSense templates to use as well as a bonus – This will make me filthy rich in no time!”

“Oh Dinny… When will you learn…”

 

“That’s what I’m trying to do Marty… I’m trying to learn…”

 

“Well you’ve been learning for over a year now Dinny… When will you actually stop learning and start earning?”

 

“But how can I earn when I don’t know how to Marty… I’m not a guru like these guys…”

“Well why don’t you leave the gurus to do the earning… and come and help me take this rubbish out first… The garbage men will be coming around today and we need to shift this out to the back for them to collect… GET UP RIGHT NOW DINGLEBERT FLUFFKINS!”

Another 3 Months Later – “What Do You Mean Spam?”

“It’s duplicate content Marty… That’s the thing… thousands of other people with the same AdSense templates… that must be it… I just read that duplicate content get’s penalised… otherwise we’d have had the millions of visitors. We were just unlucky not to be the first people to order and get the templates up first…”

“You always have twice as many excuses as you do ideas Dinny… What are you doing right now?”

 

“Email Marketing Marty…”

 

“Well you’re favorite program is about to start on the television… come on… or you’ll miss the start of the episode…”

“Shhh… Marty… I’ll be with you in just two minutes… I’m trying to get this email out to 20 people. I don’t know how many people Hotmail will let me “cc” to, but if I can get the message out to these 20 people – then I’ll be right with you. After all, they are all trying to sell me something - so if they can email me, I can email them back right?”

5 More Months Later – “Return To The J O B”

Dinglebert has finally given up on internet marketing and returned to his old job. He now is totally disillusioned with internet marketing and anything to do with making money on the internet.

Previously, although Martha had been adverse to his time spent on the internet trying to make money online, she now feels she didn’t show him and his activities enough interest. Without his knowledge, she has been doing a little bit of reading up on internet marketing herself whilst Dinglebert is out at work.

Dinglebert returns home from a long days work, surprised to find Martha sat at the PC…

 

“Hi honey… I’m hooo-ooome…”

 

“Hi Dinny… how was your day?”

“Not bad Marty… but I had a row with that blasted “Temporary Foreman”… Can’t wait till Ronnie get’s back off sick leave… This new guy doesn’t know anything and rubs everyone up the wrong way…”

“You really shouldn’t get involved Dinny…”

 

“Anyhow how was your day? What are you doing on the computer Marty?”

 

“Well… I’ve just bought a new ebook Dinny…”

 

”Marty… it’s all a con! How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Well Dinny, I think this is really different…. Its called “Dreams NOT For Sale” and it’s a no hype no fluff guide to making real money on the internet. I figured we’ve bought into so many pipe dreams that…”

“Marty they are ALL no-hype-no-fluff guides to making money on the internet…”

 

“Yes Dinny, but this really is… I can see just by reading it all the things you’ve… I mean we’ve been doing wrong… please… will you just take a look at it?”

 

“Later Marty… My favorite program is just about to start on the TV”

 

Later That Evening

 

“So, will you take a look at it Dinny?”

“Marty, I know all of this stuff… I’ve been there, seen it… done it!” “I know Dinny, but you haven’t done it like this – In fact you’ve done a lot of what this tells you NOT to do and you’ve not done any of the PROVEN strategies that it tells you repeatedly that you MUST do in order to make real money online.”

“Marty… I know EVERY strategy about internet marketing like the back of my hand… There’s nothing this ebook can teach me.”

 

“I appreciate that Dinny… but please… will you just take a look?”

 

“Okay… let me take a look…”

 

Later That Night In Bed

 

“Did you read it Dinny?”

 

“Hmm… yeah…”

 

“And?...”

 

“And… it was okay….”

 

“And?....”

 

“Well it’s nothing I didn’t already know…”

 

“Of course Dinny… Goodnight Sweetheart.”

 

“Goodnight Marty.”

 

Two Weeks Later

 

“Marty, I’ve just got my first sale – Hurry… Look!”

 

“Wow Dinny! That’s fantastic… what did you do?”

“Well I’ve been ___________ and then I ________ and after that I _________! Isn’t that awesome? At this rate in 3 months from now, I should be on my way to making a few hundred dollars a month online.”

Another Three Months Later

“Marty… take a look at at this… I just did what Tahir says in “Dreams Not For Sale” about____________ and I ended up getting _____________! By the way, I sent over a testimonial to him today, and just a quick note thanking him for this. If I’d had this when I first started out, I could have saved us so much money, myself so much time, energy, anguish and sleepless nights, and you the pain of having to bear with it all!”

“What about _____________ have you tried that yet?”

 

“No, but that’s next….”

 

Another 3 Months Later

“Just replying to one of my customers sweetheart. He had a problem downloading one of the products… his computer crashed as he went to the download page and he didn’t get access to his download.”

“How’s the _____________ coming along?”

 

“Fantastic… I’ve now got over _______________ and the last _______________ earned me over $1500. In fact, look… the orders are still coming in…”

 

“That means after paying this months bills, we should have about an extra $800 to spend?”

 

“Exactly!”

 

Another 6 Months Later

“You know Marty, we made over $22,000 this year online. And the best thing is, for the first time ever, I KNOW EXACTLY how I am going to quadruple that this year. In fact I’ll tell you EXACTLY how I am going to do it using Tahir’s Strategies. Firstly I am going to ____________________. After I’ve done that I will ensure that I have done at least 200 _________________ and if I can do at least _____________ then by the end of this year, we should have earned close to $80,000 – at least that’s the plan!”

“It gets easier once you get the ball rolling doesn’t it Dinny?”

 

“Yeah, and to think – I fell for all of that get rich quick hype when I first started out. And I didn’t earn a single bean.”

“Well the great thing is Dinny, that’s an extra $22,000 for us this year and it’s taken work and effort but the strategies are flawless.”
“Who cares about the work and effort Marty if it produces results? Real Results! I mean look at all the work, effort and energy I invested making NOTHING online!”

“Well people think it’s easy, don’t they Dinny?”

“Well they’re wrong – it isn’t easy… but it sure GETS easier when you know EXACTLY what you need to do to really start making an online income. It’s no wonder so many people are thankful “Dreams NOT For Sale” came along. It removed the cotton wool from people’s eyes and showed people in simple terms the exact strategies that ANYONE can ap