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Copyright Notice & Information - Copyright-2011 http://www.streetwiseinfo.com/picking-up-womenHell, striking up a conversation alone isn't always easy if you don't know what to say, when to say it, or how to respond to her questions.
And then there are the guys who think a drink is her price of admission! Do you want to be her "bar tab", or do you really want a fair shot at leaving with her for the night?
Every time I go out I see the same guys, struggling to get attention, looking awkward, nervous and outright ridiculous as they resort to all sorts of drastic measures just to "get the girl".
Guess what? Those old fashioned, washed-up strategies NEVER work, and if you get caught doing them, you'll lose any chance you ever had of being successful with women.
But what if there was a way for you to capture the attention of ANY woman you desired, while making HER do all of the work in striking up conversation, while she strategizes how to get your phone number from you before you move onto someone else?
Don't ever let shyness or lack of confidence control your game, again!You spot her across the room. She ’s absolutely gorgeous and you can’t take your eyes off of her. Your heart is racing, your pulse is at a frenzy pace and then it happens.
You freeze up.One of the hardest things when involved in the dating scene comes from that very first opening line.
How do you start a conversation?
That first line, that first sentence means everything. If it gets stuck in the back of your throat, you’ll instantly bomb out. If you say too much at once, you’ll quickly turn her away as you come across as a pushy, aggressive and even a little creepy.
So, what can you do to create a positive first impression, and increase your chances at hitting a home run with the woman that you approach?Here are the top 10 pick up tips to set you in the right direction!
Tip #1: Speak With Confidence
Women love men who are confident, and who know what they want. You might need to brush up on your social skills before confidence starts to feel natural to you, but eventually, with a bit of experience it will be second nature.
Consider reading self improvement guides (Tony Robbins is a great choice), and grab a couple of positive thinking books to help you better understand yourself and what you are really looking for.
The more frequently you speak with women, the more confident you will become, so get out there and practice!Tip #2: Encourage Them To Talk About Themselves
Women love to talk about themselves, and if you let her, she'll go on and on and on until you inject yourself into the conversation. But at the same time, the majority of women who chatter endlessly about themselves are doing so for one reason and one reason only VALIDATION.
Tip #3: Be Genuine
If you are genuine and personable, you can get away with saying pretty much anything and you will still be able to attract quality women. Not everyone is born naturally charming, and for many, they struggle with coming across as being smooth and in control.
You do this with practice!
There's nothing wrong with telling a woman that you find her attractive, or that you like her hair, her eyes or her smile. You just need to be careful with not coming across too strong, or desperate.
You do this by weaving your compliments into your conversation rather than using them as an opening line.The more sincere you are, the more responsive she will be. Women can detect insincerity from a mile away, so you don't want to make up stories or bait her into conversation with ego-fueled pick up lines.
Tip #4: Be Specific With Compliments
Don't compliment her just for the sake of complimenting her, as you'll likely strike out by saying something that doesn't even apply to her. ("I love your hair color", only to find out she struggles to dye her hair and ended up screwing it up on the last attempt).
For example, rather than say "You look gorgeous", consider saying "You have beautiful eyes".
Avoid blanket statements when complimenting women, because they will see right through it and odds are, you'll come away looking like an insincere idiot.
Tip #5: Make Her Laugh
Women love to laugh and they love men who can make them laugh, it's as simple as that.
Don't insult her, or make fun of her (especially around her friends), but inject your personality whenever you can, and make her laugh. If you do this, you'll not only score a ton of points with her, but you'll essentially lower her guard, allowing yourself to get all that closer to her.
Tip #6: Be A Dynamic Listener
Women want you to really listen to what they're saying but more importantly, they want a response. They want to see physical signs that you really are paying attention.
Women are the catharsis of emotion and self expression, and you better be on your game and prepared to respond to the things she is saying, otherwise you'll lose any chance of it going any further.
So, don't just nod your head in agreement, or "uh huh" everything she says. Take a personal interest in the conversation, and in her.Tip #7: Demonstrate Positive Body Language
Make sure that your body language is giving her the validation she's looking for. Look her directly in the eyes when she's talking to you. Don't cross your arms in front of you when she's talking, or when you are answering. Crossing your arms is a sign that you aren't comfortable, and can make her feel as though you are judging her.
Turn your shoulders towards her, lean in closer when she is talking about something sensitive or personal, and remember to make intermittent eye contact throughout the conversation.
Tip #8: Be Charming
Being charming means being warm, personable and sincere. You don't use charm to get sex, you are charming and get sex.
Tip #9: Give Her Your Full Attention
You need to give a woman your complete attention when you are trying to hook up. You want her to think that out of all the women around you, you chose her, and that she captured your attention quickly.
This means that you need to concentrate on her, making eye contact, using the power of body language to persuade her that you're serious about getting to know her and that regardless who comes around, you're focus is on her alone.
Tip #10: Don’t Fight For Her AttentionOne of the greatest mistakes that guys make is in pushing too hard. You won’t convince her that you’re worth a shot by doing this, in fact, you’ll bomb out faster the harder you push.
You want her to think of you as a confident guy who has it all together, who isn’t desperately seeking out women, and who has other options.So, approach her with confidence, engage her in conversation but if you feel that it isn’t going in the direction you’re looking for, you need to know when to call it quits.
Everyone is afraid of rejection. From childhood where we craved the attention of our parents, straight through high school where we fantasized about catching the eye of the head cheerleader, but being too afraid to even ask the class“wall flower” out to the prom.
Being told“no” isn’t fun, and we make it even harder on ourselves by EXPECTING rejection, which ultimately sets ourselves up for failure.You need to take a different approach when involved in the dating scene. You need to approach women with the mindset that you’re already successful, and that each woman you meet is going to be interested in you.
With this confidence, your chances of being rejected will be minimal because not only will you exude confidence and appeal, but you will come across as optimistic and a positive thinker, both very attractive qualities to women.
Everyone is rejected at one point or another. Yes, even that guy you see picking up ladies every time he goes out. He’s rejected too, but the difference between him and the majority of guys on the dating scene is that he doesn’t let it affect him. He moves on, he knows it’s part of the game and that regardless how experienced, confident or successful you may be, there are bound to be women that you simply can’t connect with. Don’t take it personally. There are women out there that will be interested in you, and better yet, they’ll be a better MATCH for you.
Why waste your time on women who can’t see your real value? Who aren’t willing to give you a fair chance?Rejection is unavoidable. You can allow it to destroy you, consume you and hinder your chances at finding a quality woman, or you can use it to re-fuel your attempts, and chalk it up to a learning experience that is part of the process.
Women want you to really listen to what they're saying but more importantly, they want a response. They want to see physical signs that you really are paying attention.
Women are the catharsis of emotion and self expression, and you better be on your game and prepared to respond to the things she is saying, otherwise you'll lose any chance of it going any further.
So, don't just nod your head in agreement, or "uh huh" everything she says.Take a personal interest in the conversation because it's likely that she'll quiz you on what she said through the many ways women do. "What do you think about what I said?".. "So, do you agree?".
You also want to make sure that your body language is giving her the validation she's looking for. Look her directly in the eyes when she's talking to you.
Don't cross your arms in front of you when she's talking, or when you are answering. Crossing your arms is a sign that you aren't comfortable, and can make her feel as though you are judging her.
Turn your shoulders towards her, lean in closer when she is talking about something sensitive or personal, and remember to make intermittent eye contact throughout the conversation.
And then, encourage her to share more with you. Yes, more. You open up the floodgate by giving her permission to vent, to talk, to share, to connect and to confide in you, and she will quickly let you in.
Don't become the friend, but let her know it's okay for her to talk about herself. Just make sure to pay attention.Before you spend precious time (and money) with women you want to make sure that you really connect. You need to test the waters, to strike up a conversation that will give you all of the information you need.
The last thing you want to do is spend $200 on drinks only to find out that her boyfriend is picking her up at the end of the night (instant strike out).If you are only interested in making friends then maybe qualifying isn't as important to you but if you are interested in late night company, you need to make sure that she's available before you waste any time.
So ask:"Who are you here with?"
This will get to the bottom of things quickly. You'll know whether she's single, dating, married as well as if she's there with any friends.
Keep in mind as well that a woman hanging out with girlfriends is often a bit of a challenge, especially if she feels obligated to stick with her friends for the entire night.
You also want to check out what her friends are like. Are they rigid straight shooters or do they look like they're there to have fun?
You can find out a lot about potential hook ups by gauging the personality and behavior of the girls they're hanging with.
If you're interested in someone and you find that she's with a group of girls, you need to get her phone number before she's pulled away by her gal pals.
Buy her a drink, strike up conversation and casually ask for her number.If you meet her friends and they seem cool, you're in good shape but if her friends appear to be a bit possessive, you might want to get that number before she's hauled away. Stick to the high road, and don't waste time trying to convince her that you're better to hang with than her friends. Just give her your number, get her number, and move on.
Let ’s face it, it’s not easy being a single guy in the dating scene. You have to suffer through countless rejections, feel awkward and uncomfortable and always worry about what to say, how to say it and whether you are coming across too strong, or if you’re actually making progress.
Then, there are the other guys to worry about.Not only do you have to summon up the confidence to speak with women, you have to deal with countless“blockers” who will do everything in their power to add difficulty to your pick up, to throw a wrench in your plans and to possibly steal the girl.
Women are difficult to impress these days. They expect more from us, they are immune to the old pick up lines, and if we even say one thing wrong, we risk the chances of her walking away or moving onto the next guy.
So, what can we do to increase our chances at hitting it out of the park and going home with a quality woman?Be Confident
Confidence is key when it comes to being successful in the dating scene. The more confident you are, the most women you will attract– it’s as simple as that.
But don’t confuse confidence with cockiness. Women love men who know who they are, and what they want but they despise guys who are cocky, arrogant and self involved.
You need to keep your focus on her by encouraging her to talk about herself, taking a genuine interest in getting to know her better, while engaging her every step of the way.
Don ’t just nod your head in agreement but instead, ask her questions..“Is that right?”,“Why did that happen?”. The more genuine you appear to be, the easier it will be to get closer to her.
Confidence comes with experience, and you ’ll quickly discover that the more you speak with women, and the more successful you are, the more believable you’ll be.
One of the greatest obstacles that men face every day when venturing into the dating scene is in overcoming their shyness. We need to be confident in order to have a chance with women, yet if we’ve suffered from lack of self esteem for most of our lives, or we are uncomfortable or inexperienced talking to women, it’s often easier said than done.
People unconsciously mirror our behavior. If you talk to a woman and you exude confidence, the woman you are talking to will feel more confident. If you approach a woman and you seem awkward or uncomfortable, you will make her feel awkward and uncomfortable.
And if you approach a woman and are shy around her, she will begin to feel shy as well!If you are naturally shy, here is a way that you can“fake confidence” until you become more experienced dealing with the opposite sex:
Next time you strike up a conversation with someone, instead of allowing your shyness to overwhelm you and control your reactions, YOU take control of the conversation by focusing your thoughts on how your responses and reactions will control them.
For example, when you see someone, consider taking instant action by smiling, or winking. Odds are they will mirror your response. Then, start talking to them while thinking of what you want their reaction to be. Think to yourself“be positive, be upbeat, be funny, be entertaining”, because the more you do these things, the more she will do the same!
Being aware of the way that you make others feel through your own actions will help you become more charming, more genuine, more confidence and less shy!
“ It’s amazing how jerks can get girls. Actually, now that I think of it, it’s not that amazing. To meet girls they lavish their undying love. They act nice, friendly, and they listen; until they get into what they’re after. Meanwhile, the girl tries to change the jerk into a nice guy, but the jerk will always be a jerk.” -Anonymous
As the author of this book, I believe nice guys can finish first. But, they just have to change their approach with women…On the matter of nice guys VS jerks I wish I could say that the statement was ridiculous and of course the nice guys in the end will get the girl, but it's simply not true.
Women want someone who excites them, makes them feel special and gives them a thrill on a regular basis. They want somebody who sends them on an emotional rollercoaster.
This book is for all those guys who are sick of ending up as a girl ’s “emotional tissue” that they eventually just throw away. It’s for the guy who is just tired of hearing the continuous excuses women come up with, so they don’t have to talk to you or take your relationship much further…
This book will cover every aspect of how a true player is successful with women. We’ll dig deep into these issues, with advice and information you can use the next to you see that hot babe sitting across or walking right by you!
The art of attracting women consists of 10% projection of success, 10% appearance, 10% intelligence, and 70% charm. In a study conducted by the University of Waterloo, 85% of the correspondents expressed that charm was the principle reason for their attraction to the opposite individual.
Some people are born with the gift of being naturally charming. But most people lack the skill or just never learned the proper techniques through social communication. This does not mean a person cannot learn how to be charming. All one needs, is to understand what people find charming and practice it over and over again, until it becomes naturally part of their personality.
When asked, most women say they want a nice sensitive guy that will buy them flowers and basically act like one of their girlfriends. They like the idea of getting flowers and having a sensitive guy to talk to about their problems.
Note: A lot of men end up becoming that guy, the guy that girls talk to about their problems. But the relationship usually doesn’t get any further than being just friends.
All women will tell you they want to date the nice guy or that they can never seem to find a nice guy to date.The problem is, this isn't exactly correct. These women aren ’t lying when they say they want these things...when they think logical they do, because it makes sense. But remember, women don’t choose logically what they are attracted to.
So, when they think about it consciously. Women want a guy that will buy them flowers and talk to them when they feel down. But in reality, their instinct is to like a guy who will take control and act like a man should.
So what qualities do women want in men?What they've always wanted and always will want. Women want real men, men that are in control and don’t ask for permission to do anything. They don’t want to be in charge, they want someone to be in charge of them.
I know this sounds harsh, but it's true.Here are some examples, have you ever noticed that...
When you give a girl a compliment or tell her how beautiful she is she shies away from you?
This probably happens every time you try and start a conversation. But when you...
Notice a flaw about her, she will get more involved in the conversation and take you more seriously.
Also, have you noticed...
When you spoil a girl by buying her gifts, taking her to an expensive dinner, she usually thanks you for the evening and then goes out with another guy?
But, If you simply go for a quick drink and act like you are equals she feels attracted to you, because you're not catering to her every need.Have you noticed when....
You call a girl often after a date and she seems distant and funny. But, when you don't call her and you act like you're busy and could live with her or without her, she won't stop calling you.
The truth is women don’t want to be catered to, spoiled or treated like princesses. This is what women want from a man...First of all, women want you to be confident in yourself. So, if you approach a girl and seem shy and awkward, that is a turn off.
Women want you to lead the way, not the other way around. They don ’t want to talk about what you are going to do, they just want you to lead the way and do it.
They want you to keep it cool and NOT get emotional. So if you are the kind of guy that has a hard time keeping his emotions to himself, you are going to have to work on it.
They want you to be fun and entertaining, not boring and dull. Just because you are into collecting stamps or collecting model planes, it does not mean you have to bore the poor girl to death about your hobby.
Women want you to make them laugh. So again, you have to be entertaining and fun.They don ’t want to know everything about you all at once, they want to wonder. So, no matter how tempting it may be you don’t have to tell them you whole life story. Women want to keep guessing.
They want you to have more to talk about than“the game last night”, they want you to be interesting.
They want you to be heading somewhere, they want you to have a life goal or something you are trying to achieve. In other words, they want you to know what you want from life.
Charm is simply the art of letting someone know that you feel good about them, without embarrassing them or asking anything of them in return. And this is really attractive. The following checklist should help you accomplish your goals:
- Charm has an ally in eye contact. Never forget to look into someone's eyes when speaking to them.- Charming someone includes complimenting them. What you should compliment is relatively easy to figure out, just figure out what would it take to make you feel complimented, and do the same to others.
- Charm has to be sincere. It is strongest when you believe what you're saying.- Charm is done pleasantly and lightly.
- The secret to charm is to be selfless. You should not ask for anything, not even feedback.
- Charm isn't sexual. It's just warmth.
- Charm is exerting strong confidence.
- Charm at its simplest just says, "You are terrific. Thank you for letting me bask in your glow."
For a person not to come off as rehearsed, one needs to practice. So where do you start? Any place. Practice on your mother, sister, dog, neighbor, dad, your boss, teacher, friends, the stranger on the streetcorner. You will also be amazed at how charming people will be in return. Don't forget to smile. It makes you look alive.
For a woman to know that you are interested, she must be aware of it. If she is not, then absolutely nothing will happen. You therefore have to take a risk. This is where the chase begins.
Pick the woman that you are interested in, wherever you may be. May I suggest that you choose your lady early and concentrate only on her the whole time you are there. If you start looking around too much, you will give her the impression that you are looking for anyone to sleep with. After you find her, begin by looking for body language signs, such as eye contact, a smile, hair touching, etc.
If you get these signs from her, you must move quickly. Most men just wait around eyeballing the lady the whole time. By the time they get the nerves to go talk to her, either someone else moved in, or she'll think you are some perverted stalker because you gawked too much.
Okay, now you made your move. You initiated the conversation. Now how do you make sure you keep the conversation going, and ensure she remains interested? Spoil her with attention by asking her all types of questions regarding her life. No sex-related questions please. Instead, talk about her likes, her education, movies, even the current awkward situation.
The important thing is to not mention anything about yourself, unless of course she asks you to. If she does, (this usually means she's interested) please remember to be brief and move the topic back to focus to her.
Once the conversation deepens, it is okay to mention that you'd like to keep in contact with her, and ask for a phone number!The first phone call should be at least two days after the encounter. The conversation should revolve around how much fun you had with her, and how impressed you were with her personality. In other words, compliment her like crazy. Make sure that the first phone call does not last more than twenty minutes.
It is crucial that you end the first phone call first. If she ends the conversation, the ball is in her court. The conversation should end with you inviting her out for a coffee.
For Future Phone Call Notice: A lot of times when girls call me,