Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jenny Actually Graduates
May 14, and May 15, 2009—Commencement: This was the day to celebrate the event for which we’d been waiting four long years: No more tuition payments—Yay! No, of course I’m talking about graduation day. Yay! There were so many officials that wanted to give long speeches, that commencement was broken up into two days.
We had breakfast at the hotel followed by running on the treadmills. I discovered that running while watching TV and changing channels is not a skill that I've acquired, so there were a few extremely humorous Three Stooges type moments as I windmilled around but didn't quite fall. I’d be a viral YouTube sensation if anyone had decided to video the old guy on the treadmill.
We had great weather. See that nice cap and gown in the picture below? Guess how much one of those costs. The answer: $126,000, after subtracting financial aid. It was worth every penny, though.
Finally, back to the hotel to recover for the second ceremony the next day. This was the ceremony for all graduating students, and there were robes everywhere.
Poor Lena really didn’t want this photo in the book, but “Art Governs All” (that’s a saying, right?). Anyway, here she is sound asleep during the interminable speeches. Lucky her!
Next, it was on to the famous Ted Drewes frozen custard shop. This was the best frozen dessert I've ever had, followed by the best Indian Food I’ve ever had, followed by the worst diarrhea I’ve ever had. Sorry, that’s gross, and not true. I made it up because I’d promised it in the introduction. I had to fit the word “diarrhea” in somewhere, and this seemed the best spot. So, “You’re welcome,” ten-year-old boys who are reading this.
Now that Jenny had truly and officially graduated, we scurried back to the apartment for more packing, and were converted from proud parents to pack mule lackeys. Our mission was to help Jenny move her stuff from St. Louis to Kansas City, where she’d landed a job as an engineer.