M o st e d ito rs w ill te ll yo u th a t if th e yre n o t ca u g h t u p in th e b o o k w ith in th e first th re e p a ra g ra p h s, th e y sim p ly d o n t – and wo n t- read on.
O n e w a y I le a rn e d a lo t a b o u t w ritin g w a s to re a d o th e r p e o p le s b o o ks. S o th a ts w h a t w e re g o in g to d o now.
So go ahead and grab a book from your private collection. Any book – it d o e sn t m a tte r w h a tthe genre is, or who wrote it. Just grab a book.
Open at the very first page of the story. Does the opening sentence draw you in to the story? Do you want to re a d o n , to fin d o u t w h a t w illh a p p e n to th e ch a ra cte r yo u ve ju st b e e n in tro d u ce d to ? My bet is that it does. Few publishers contra ct b o o ks th a t d o n t p u llth e re a d e r in fro m th e first fe w w o rd s.
So, for your first exercise, I would like you to consider the story you would like to write.
Now write the very first line of your story. It needs to be short, sharp, and to the point. D o n t ra m b le, keep it as condensed as possible
Give your opening sentence some thought, andd o n ’twrite the first thing that comes into your head.
Write it down, think about it, and then work on it. Look at your sentence and ask yourself some questions:
1) Is it too long, and will the reader lose interest?
2) Is it to the point?
3) Does it give a sense of intrigue?
4) Does it leave the reader wanting to read more?
5) D o e s it g ive to o m u ch in fo rm a tio n , lo sin g th e re a d e rs in te re st?
6) It is a „te a se r?
Here are a few examples of opening sentences that I have used in stories and books:
Heart pounding, Rosie sat up abruptly in bed.
Without them, the story will not survive.
The bottom line is that each character needs to have a valid reason for their actions.
If, for instance, you have Joe murder Mary, you need to tell the reader why Joe would want to murder Mary.
L e ts sa y Jo e is a p o lice in fo rm a n t, a n d M a ry is a n u n d e rco ve r d e te ctive . Jo e s given Mary some extremely sensitive information that if disclosed, could get him killed by other underworld figures.
There you have your motivation.
B u t, o n th e o th e r h a n d , Jo e h a s fa lle n in lo ve w ith M a ry, o r m a yb e M a ry h a s sa ve d Jo e s tw o ye a r o ld son from certain death.
T h a ts conflict.
In Saving Emma – my suspense/romance novel – there are a number of examples of conflict – Ill g ive yo u ju st a fe w . F irst th o u g h , Ill se t it u p fo r yo u ; E m m a L a rkin s h u sb a n d h a s b e e n m u rd e re d b y th e underworld. A lo n g w ith h e r fo u r ye a r o ld d a u g h te r S a lly, sh e s b e in g h a ra sse d a n d fo llo w e d . T h e ir h o m e is ra n sa cke d re g u la rly, so th e y fle e M e lb o u rn e to a re la tive ly la rg e co u n try to w n . O b vio u sly sh e s sca re d for both herself and her daughter. Then she meets Gary Bedford. They meet, fall in love, but she keeps h e r d ista n ce . H e s a n u n d e rco ve r d e te ctive , b u t d o e sn t te llE m m a .
S o ... le ts sta rt w ith conflict: E m m a d o e sn t w a n t to kn o w a n yo n e in th is n e w to w n , sh e s o n th e ru n fro m th e u n d e rw o rld . S h e su re d o e sn t want to fall in love. After all, who can she trust? She has to think of S a lly; E m m a ca n t risk S a llys life . S h e h a s h e r d o u b ts a b o u t G a ry; h e s ke e p in g so m e th in g fro m h e r.
W h e n th e y m e e t, E m m a p u sh e s S a lly b e h in d h e r a n d w a lks b a ckw a rd s a s G a ry w a lks to w a rd h e r. S h e s scared, and being a cop, it comes through loud and clear to him. She gives a fictitious name – Sally contradicts her. As he gets to know her, Gary is convinced that Emma is keeping something from him; when they go on dates, they go in separate cars, never together. Everywhere they go, she scans the area and constantly looks over her shoulder. She never looks him in the eye when she says something he finds farfe tch e d , a n d w o n t te llh im a b o u t h e r p a st life .
G a ry is in lo ve w ith E m m a , b u t ca n t g e t clo se to h e r b e ca u se o f h e r p ro b le m s, b u t sh e w o n t te llh im w h a t her problems are. Catch 22.These are all examples of conflict. Put simply, conflict is the reason or reasons that keep your main protagonists from achieving the required result/s. That may be getting together once they fall in love, it might be having a baby, it might be buying a car, it might be finding a murderer, or escaping from the bad guys– anything you want your characters to achieve.
In Saving Emma, there are various areas of conflict because there are a number of subplots as well as the main plot. But the main conflictis fin d in g th e p e rso n w h o kille d E m m a s h u sb a n d so th a t sh e a n d S a lly are safe. Because of that conflict b e in g re so lve d , (E m m a te llin g G a ry a b o u t h e r h u sb a n d s m u rd e r) th e y ca n g e t to g e th e r. B u t G a ry h a sn t to ld h e r h e s a co p . S h e fin d s o u t a ccid e n tally later. In the meantime, the killer is still on the loose, so the problems are still there.
(The plot is very complicated and has lots of twists and turns – being a suspense/romance – so without g ivin g th e sto ry a w a y, I ca n t te llyo u to o m u ch .)Okay – le ts ta lk motivation. Still using Saving Emma h e re s th e motivation:
E m m a w o n t g e t clo se to G a ry b e ca u se o f th e kille r; sh e th in ks it w illg e t h im kille d . (R e m e m b e r sh e d o e sn t kn o w h e s a co p ). E ve n tu a lly sh e te lls h im th e tru th , a n d h e o rg a n ise s surveillance and a whole undercover team. They work toward saving Emma and Sally– stillw ith o u t h e r kn o w in g h e s a co p . (Hence the name of the book Saving Emma.)
S o w h a ts th e motivation? G a ry lo ve s E m m a a n d w a n ts to m a rry h e r. If h e d o e sn t sa ve th e tw o (Emma and Sally) none of this can be achieved.To find ideas in everyday life, you need to train yourself to look around. When you walk down the street, d o n t ju st w a tch w h e re yo u a re g o in g . L o o k in to p e o p le s fro n t g a rd e n , w a tch ch ild re n p la yin g o n th e ro a d , in th e p a rk, ch e ck o u t w h a ts h a p p e n in g a t th e su p e rm a rke t.
E ve ryw h e re yo u lo o k th e re s a sto ry.If a ch ild ru n s a cro ss th e ro a d in fro n t o f a ca r, th e re s a sto ry. M a yb e n o t rig h t th e re a n d th e n , b u t la te r there could be.
Perhaps your heroine or main protagonist – le ts ca ll h e r Ja n e - is driving quietly along the street; a child runs out onto the road, and Jane hits the child with her car. Along comes Jimmy policeman, and Jane falls in love. You now have the beginning of a romance.
From that same story, you could have Peter, the lawyer, defending Jane. But he falls in love with her while he works her case. At the same time, Jane is pursuing Jimmy policeman. Another romance, but this one with a twist.
Yet again, the child could be the only child of a mother who is dying from leukaemia. The father will not only lose his dying wife, but now Jane has killed his son. He might come after Jane and try to kill her for w h a t sh e s d o n e to h is fa m ily.
An idea for a Kelly and Tony Mysteries story when I was in hospital a couple of years ago. It was in the middle of the night and deathly quiet. Then out of nowhere came a lot of crashing and banging. It sounded like bedpans being dropped or banged on the floor. I let my imagination go crazy and came up with a story about nurses having a bedpan race. Of course there had to be a bare butt – this time it was K e llys.
The ideas can come from anywhere, not necessarily from you. I have a work colleague who woke in the middle of the night to find her bedroom full of flashing lights. Convinced the Aliens had come to transport her to their planet, she snuggled down under the blankets, and tried to remain hidden. Then she decided to get dressed; if the Aliens were coming to get her, she decided, she was damned well going fully clothed!
After about an hour of terror, she climbed up on a chair and looked out a high window. What did she find? The house over the road was on fire and the lights were from the three fire trucks attending.S h e d b e e n to se e “S ixth S e n se ” th a t n ig h t, a n d ye s, sh e live s a lo n e . < g >
And yes, it became a short story. Sometimes my ideas just appear out of nowhere; th e re s n o rh ym e o r re a so n fo r th e m . S o rry,I ca n t te a ch you to make that happen!
I have friends who write from newspaper articles (such as murders, missing persons, or arranged marriages) and others who get them from watching television or movies. They might start with just the smallest spark of an idea, then build from there.
Another way I get ideas is to find a sentence of a string of words. They become the beginning of a story. Not everyone is able to do that. As mentioned previously, I own a piece of software called Write Sparks, which has a number of idea generators in it. I actually won the software in a writing competition. I have found it to be an excellent source of ideas. If find in g id e a s is a p ro b le m fo r yo u , a n d e ve n if its n o t, I recommend you take a look at Write Sparks. The creator – Shery Ma Belle Arrieta - is a writer herself, so she fully understands the problems writers have in this area.
There is a free trial version which is also excellent and I recommend you get it. (It will cost you absolutely n o th in g to d o w n lo a d , a n d g o e s o n fo re ve r. Its n o t o n e o f th o se tim e-limited trial versions.)Shery also has a site where you can get some fre e a u to re sp o n d e r w ritin g co u rse s. A fte r yo u ve o rg a n ise d your free trial version of the software, go back to the home page, go to the bottom of the page, then select “E m a il C o u rse s/W o rksh o p s fo r W rite rs”. T h e re a re a lo t o f free courses and a few paid ones as well. Shery also has an ezine that lists a number of idea generators.
With all this information, you might never run out of ideas again!In the previous lessons w e e xp lo re d se ve ra l critica l e le m e n ts o f fictio n w ritin g . T o d a y Id like to e xp la in the differences between showing and telling – a co n ce p t th a t m a n y w rite rs fe a r, b u t re a lly d o n t n e e d to be afraid of.
The next two lessons are taken directly from the companion book to Outside the Square Fiction Workshop – Think Outside the Square: Writing Publishable (Short Stories). This book is supplied with your purchase, and the two books are used in conjunction with each other.
They went something like this:
See Betty. See Betty jump. John watches Betty jump. John jumps too.
Y e a h , ye a h , I kn o w . T h e re a d e r kn o w s w h a ts g o in g o n , b u t fo r g o o d n e ss sa ke s, h o w b o rin g is th a t? Its a wonder any of us learned to read at all!
Im su re yo u ve h e a rd th e te rm “S h o w , d o n t te ll” – b u t d o yo u a ctu a lly u n d e rsta n d th e p h ra se ? “S h o w in g ” is another way of saying that our words need to paint the scene, rather than the writer giving a step-bystep instruction. (The above example with John and Betty is good example of telling.)
M a n y m o o n s a g o , I re a d a n a rticle th a t d e scrib e d „te llin g a s “T h e V ica r co m e s to T e a ” o r so m e su ch similar phrase. It described bit by agonising bit, how the vicar sat down, the pot of tea was made, the tea drawn then poured. Cream or milk was added, then the sugar. Of course, once all that was done, it had to be drunk, including the little pinkie protruding to the side.
There was a valuable lesson to be learned, and learn it well I did. Can you imagine writing (or reading) an entire story written in this fashion?Creak, plop, splat! (That was me groaning!) Find a way for your readers to visualise in their own minds what you are trying to portray. For instance:
Marissa took her key from her handbag and unlocked her front door. Arms heavy laden with groceries, she took off her jacket and placed it on the stand in the hallway. She then went into the kitchen and made a cup of coffee.
Apart from being jerky and overbearing, too much information is forthcoming. The same meaning can be portrayed thus:As she slipped off her jacket and set down her bag, Marissa struggled with her groceries. It was a relief to finally make a cup of coffee.
Can you visualise the jacket being slipped off her body? Can you see her walking toward the kitchen with her bags of groceries? I didn't actually tell you she unlocked the door, or that she'd arrived in the kitchen, but the fact that Marissa is able to make a coffee means she has arrived in the kitchen.
Mary Jane was very upset and sat down in her chair. She put her hands to her face and cried until she began to sob.A g a in , d o n t „te ll th e re a d e r th a t M a ry Ja n e is d e p re sse d , p a in t a p ictu re in ste a d . In a d d itio n to le ttin g th e reader use their own imagination, you are using fewer words for the same result:
Mary Jane slumped down into the chair as tears rolled down her face.
If you want to portray that someone is sweating, for example, whether from fear or anxiety, try something like this:
She wiped her hands against her track pants.
Used in context, the reader will automatically understand that her hands are wet from perspiration due to some sort of stress. With practice, you will indeed begin (and hopefully continue) to show rather than tell, and in doing so enjoy a following from satisfied readers.
Im sa d to sa y th e n e xt le sson will be our last. Stay tuned, and keep writing!T im e a n d a g a in Im a ske d h o w I ch o o se title s. S o m e tim e s th e y lite ra lly fly o ff th e p a g e a t m e , a n d o th e rs can be quite excruciating.
For instance, Popcorn Murders I fo u n d e xtre m e ly d ifficu lt to n a m e . U n til o n e d a y a frie n d a ske d „w h e re s th e p o p co rn – meaning the popcorn the victims would normally be eating while watching movies. Voila, Popcorn Murders became my title.
Another story in the same short story series is based around young men being murdered in their bath. T h a t sto ry w a s e xtre m e ly e a sy to n a m e , a n d b e ca m e “T h e R u b b e r D u cky K ille r” fro m its co n ce p tio n .Since the series are all humorous stories, I try to give the titles a humorous slant as well.
Sometimes I might try to put a twist on the title; another short story is based in a hospital and mentions b e d p a n s a fe w tim e s. (I kn o w ; I h a ve a ve ry stra n g e m in d .) I ca lle d it “N ig h t o f P a n ic” – the reasons are two-fold:
1) T h e re s su p p o se d to b e a n e m e rg e n cy (P a n ic) 2) Panic is a play on pan (as in bedpan)So, as you can see, not so humorous, rather word play.
One of my novels is about a woman named Emma Larkin, who is being pursued by killers. She meets an undercover police officer who helps her. Initially I called it “U n d e rco ve r L o ve ” (m y w o rkin g title ) w h ich I h a te d , u n til su d d e n ly, o n e d a y, a title le a p t o u t o f th e p a g e s a t m e . It is n o w kn o w n a s “S a vin g E m m a ” – m u ch m o re a p p ro p ria te a n d m o re a p p e a lin g . I co u ld n t b e a r to th in k it w o u ld e ve r b e ch a n g e d . (L u cky for me, my publisher decided to keep the title!)
Another novel - a romantic suspense is th e sto ry o f K a re e n a E llis. S h e s m e n tio n e d in th is b o o k a fe w tim e s; h e r w in d scre e n w a s sm a sh e d w ith a sle d g e h a m m e r. T h a t b e g a n a s “In to th e A rm s o f a S tra n g e r” because Kareena literally runs into a stranger while trying to escape the sledgehammer man (big and ugly, I call him). For my own benefit, as I found the title quite a tongue-twister to say all the time, I sh o rte n e d it to “A rm s o f a S tra n g e r”, w h ich is w h a t it is n o w . A ctu a lly, I d id n t like th a t title e ith e r, b u t e ve ryo n e e lse lo ve d it, so it sta ye d . (O ka y, its g ro w n o n m e !)
I a lw a ys m a ke su re th e title is a p p ro p ria te to th e sto ry; o th e rw ise th e re a d e r w o n t b e h a p p y if th e n a m e yo u ve ch o se n is m isle a d in g . O n e o f m y sh o rt sto rie s is n a m e d “T h e B a ck R o a d .” S u re , it re la te d to th e story, in fact, the setting is a back road, but what a boring title. I changed the name a couple of times but still w a sn t h a p p y w ith it. Its n o w ca lle d “D u sty R o a d to H e ll” – sounds better and is still appropriate to the story.
Another novel – a contemporary romance h a d su ch a sh o ckin g title , I ca n t e ve n re m e m b e r it. Its n o w ca lle d “W in te r S a b b a tica l” b e ca u se th e h e ro in e is o n a sa b b a tica l, a n d its w in te r. P e rso n a lly, I lo ve it; the title is homely and comfortable, hopefully drawing the reader to the book.
A sh o rt sto ry b a se d a ro u n d a ra ilw a y sta tio n w a s sim p ly ca lle d “T h e T ra in ”. T h a t h a s e vo lve d in to “O ff th e R a ils”. “A lie n s” b e ca m e “T h e A lie n s h a ve la n d e d ”. “T h e C h ild ” b e ca m e “Ju st a W a lk a lo n g th e S a n d ”.A piece of advice: give your stories a working title, whether you like them or not; it will help you connect. One day, at some strange time – maybe in the middle of the night, or even in the shower – a great title willp o p in to yo u r h e a d . If it d o e sn t, th e n co n sid e r b ra in sto rm in g .
W h e n I b ra in sto rm , I cle a r m y m in d o f e ve ryth in g ; I le t m y fin g e rs a n d p e n h a ve fre e re ig n . A n d I d o n t fo rce a n yth in g . W h a te ve r co m e s to th e p a p e r, co m e s. T h is w o rks e q u a lly w e ll fo r „w h a t if title s, n a m e s, and places; lots of things. (I always use paper, never the computer. Your brain – well, my brain anyway– d o e sn t h a ve th e sa m e so rt o f fre e d o m o n a co m p u te r a s it d o e s o n p a p e r.)
For instance, when writing an article about finding id e a s, I o rig in a lly ca lle d it “F in d in g Id e a s”. A n o th e r boring title, although it did describe the content well. I was so unhappy with the title I sat down with a p ie ce o f b la n k p a p e r a n d w ro te , a n d w ro te , a n d w ro te , u n tilI co u ld n t fit a n y m o re title s o n the paper. This a llh a p p e n e d a t th e lo ca lco ffe e sh o p , a n d I sw e a r th e o th e r cu sto m e rs th o u g h t Id g o n e cra zy!
I e n d e d u p w ith a ro u n d fifty title s, so m e o f th e m g o o d , so m e m e d io cre , a n d o n e th a t w a s b rillia n t! “T o d a y I W itn e sse d a S to ry” b e ca m e th e title . It w a s p u b lish e d a b o u t six tim e s, so o b vio u sly I w a sn t th e o n ly o n e that liked the title.
Outstanding titles will also help sell your book or short story, although some publishers will change the title no matter what.N o w th a t yo u ve se e n h o w e a sy a n d e n jo ya b le fictio n w ritin g ca n b e , I u rg e yo u to co n tin u e w ith yo u r writing ambitions.
The complete and unabridged version of Outside the Square Fiction Workshop contains much more information and advice than I can to squeeze into a mini-course, including information about character creation, formatting your work, and getting it published. Please check the details at the website http://www.writer2writer.com/outside_square.htm and start your writing career today.
In clo sin g , Id like to w ish you every possible success with your writing endeavours, and look forward to seeing your name on the best-sellers list!