How many times have you wanted to send a romantic text message to your sweetie or leave a love note for him or her, but no words could find their way out of your heart and your mind would go blank, refusing to produce a tiny bit of decent inspiration to enable your good intentions? Or how many times have you asked your partner, “what are we doing this evening?” hoping that your partner has an idea more creative than the “restaurant/movies” picture in your head?
Unfortunately creativity is not always there when we need it to spice up our daily routine and relationships. Creativity, however, is a skill we all possess that can be sharpened with special techniques and a little bit of practice. Oops...! Did I day “techniques”? Sorry... I didn’t want to scare you. Don’t let yourself be intimidated by this difficult word. What I actually wanted to say is “games.” ”Games” sound like so much more fun, doesn’t it? Suddenly, instead of being afraid, you are eager to find out what such games would be like.
Romantictionary and Date-aboo are two games that help couples do exactly what we are talking about: generate romantic ideas quickly and easily, and have fun at the same time. Because thinking of romantic ideas should be fun, not a chore. The first game intends to help you be more creative when writing romantic notes or text messages. The second game intends to help you come up with creative romantic date ideas, by having you and your partner brainstorm together.
Here is the concept behind the games, in a nutshell:
Creativity is a hot issue that I have studied for years, and I have sought to implement it in every field of my life and work. I have integrated the “tools for creativity” suggested by researchers into two games for couples that help generate romantic ideas the easy and fun way.
Romantictionary and Date-aboo are two games that are based on a widely known creativity technique: stimulating your brain using random input. In this technique, you are given a random word or image and you try to imagine how this word or image applies to your problem as a solution, or as a channel of inspiration that will lead you to the solution. This popular technique is taught, among others, all around the world in seminars about creativity, with impressive results.
Romantictionary uses the power of words. If I asked you to give me an idea for a love note right now, most likely your mind would go blank and you wouldn’t even know how to start or what words to use. However, if I gave you the word “island” and I then asked you to write a love note, your mind would put your imagination to work and you would come up with a lovely message such as
“I can’t stand this heat today. I close my eyes and think of us lost on a tropical island, lying on the golden sand in the shadow of a coconut tree and listening to the sound of the dancing waves and the whistle of the playful fresh wind as it touches our bodies and climbs up to the skies. I open my eyes and I see no island, no sand, no tree, no dancing waves. But I can still feel the warmth of your breath on my neck and the coolness of your shadow on my skin , and that is enough to bring me some of the happiest thoughts of my entire life”.
You see, our brain is more likely to find a solution to a well defined problem than to a vague situation. “Define the problem,” your brain says to you, “and I will give you the solution.” Trying to come up with a general love message is more confusing and unpleasant to your brain than trying to come up with a love message that contains the word “island.”
Moreover, when you are given a word, this word can be processed by your mind differently each time, depending on where you are and the circumstances around you. The word reacts with your past experiences, the millions of images stored in your head and the millions of logical or irrational associations, and it generates an image. The image could be different each time, even if you use the same word,because circumstances change.
For example, we started the message above with the phrase “I can’t stand this heat today,” because at the time the writer is writing, it is summer and it’s really hot. Under different circumstances, for example, if it were winter or if the word “island” had a negative meaning to the writer, he or she could have created a different introduction or even a different fantasy for the word “island.”
Hint: do not worry if you just can’t think of a note as creative as the example above. Start with simple sentences, using everyday language. For example, “You know what beautiful thought popped into my mind? Us being on a tropical island, swimming in the crystal water, lying on the sand and making love all day!” You will definitely make a wide smile appear on your partner’s face. The purpose is to start feeling comfortable with expressing beautiful thoughts – that’s what writing love notes is about! . It won’t be long until your writing skills improve and your ideas are as creative as the first example with the island above!
Date-aboo uses both the power of images and the technique of making the problem as specific as possible.
Date-aboo cards are divided into 3 categories. Those with blue, those with green and those with red frames. The blue framed cards suggest a place for your date. The green framed cards show an object that will trigger your inspiration for ideas for a creative date at the place indicated by the blue framed cards. To help you stay away from too conventional and less creative ideas (such as your favorite restaurants), the red framed cards suggest objects that you are not allowed to use during your date.
In a nutshell, this card game gives you a place, a clue and sometimes, a limitation. See it as a challenge and brainstorm with your partner to come up with a date idea that combines the three elements together.
Tip 1: No matter how crazy or unusual your ideas sound, it is important to go for them! Do not try to alter your first ideas into something more conventional or more familiar to you. Consider this game like a treasure hunt. You never know what a great experience the cards will suggest for you. You have to follow the suggestion and see for yourselves! Sometimes the card combinations will not make sense, but it’s up to your imagination to create a unique and workable idea from these conflicting images. Some of your dating experiences will be exciting, some others will not be as interesting. But you will always have the excitement of the unknown, of going out to discover what’s there for you, and that makes the experience worthwhile.
Tip 2: You can play Date-aboo together with other couples. Or, depending on the creative ideas you come up with, you can play by yourselves and then invite your friends and/or other couples. No one said that a date has to be an evening out for you two alone!
Romantictionary
1. Print out the pages using good quality paper. Cut around the outline of the Romantictionary cards and bind them using a stapler. Now you have a pocket-sized booklet.
2. Every time you want to think of a romantic note or a romantic text message, choose a random number. Open Romantictionary and find the word corresponding to that number.
3. Now that you have your word, put your imagination to work. Do not give up quickly if you can’t come up with something good. It’s important to try. Your brain needs a bit of practice before it will start to react to the words quickly.
4. If you really cannot think of anything, close your eyes and leave your mind free to explore images and stories related to your word. Perhaps a different but relevant and more convenient word will come to mind. Use that instead.
Date-aboo
1. Print out the pages using card-type glossy paper. Cut around the outline of the cards.
2. Separate the 6 blue, 45 green and 9 red framed cards and shuffle each stack well, then place them face down.
3. Choose one blue framed card. That is where you are going.
4. Choose one green framed card. That’s your clue.
Example 1: Suppose you choose the blue framed card “countryside” and the green framed card “D”. What’s the first combination that comes to your mind when you look at the cards? A popular answer would be: moon (suggested by the “D”) … beach … romantic walk. Go for it! But what if the blue framed card is “building”? Then your answer would be something like moon ... stars ... indoors ... Planetarium!!!! Or maybe the letter “D” reminds you of a big smile ... laugh ... indoors ... comedy club!!!! Can you see how the same image can create different perspectives?
Example 2: Suppose you choose the blue framed card “Question mark” (= anyplace you like) and the green framed card “X.” You choose another green framed card, “flowers” and the red framed card “table.” What’s your first thought for flowers? If you are hungry, you think of countryside … barbeque … steak restaurant. But wait, you can’t use a table. Ok, let’s make it a … Picnic!!! So get set to go on a picnic.
In the example above, if the blue framed card were “house,” you could hold your picnic on your veranda or in your backyard, using a tablecloth, candles and music, instead of having dinner in front of the TV yet again.
Tip: Use the Internet for more ideas. Type a couple of words that come to your mind when looking at the selected cards into google.com or yahoo.com and the name of your city, and see what appears.
For example, suppose you choose the green framed card “animal paw print”. What’s the first thought that comes to your mind when you look at the paw print? Suppose it’s “bear”. Do you know anything that has to do with bears? A zoo? Or perhaps you can open the city entertainment guide or visit a website listing local entertainment destinations. The word “bear” might lead you to the “Honey and Bear” open barbeque restaurant in the suburbs, which you have never heard of before and you think you should give it a try.
Maybe the paw print reminds you of Conan, your friend Kara’s huge dog. So you could ask Kara to “borrow” Conan for a day for a walk on the beach or in the closest park. But if the blue framed card was “building,” what would you do? Where could you possibly go having a dog with you? Don’t worry, because there are more solutions than you could ever imagine. Search the internet for “dog-friendly restaurant Denver” (if, for example, you live in Denver) and you will get lists of dog-friendly restaurants and cafés in Denver.
The purpose of this game is to inspire you to try activities that you would not normally do. But isn’t this what a creative date should be like?