LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON
Churchhill.
This is insufferable! My dearest friend, I was never so enraged before,
and must relieve myself by writing to you, who I know will enter into all
my feelings. Who should come on Tuesday but Sir James Martin! Guess my
astonishment, and vexation-‐-‐for, as you well know, I never wished him to be
seen at Churchhill. What a pity that you should not have known his
intentions! Not content with coming, he actually invited himself to remain
here a few days. I could have poisoned him! I made the best of it, however,
and told my story with great success to Mrs. Vernon, who, whatever might be
her real sentiments, said nothing in opposition to mine. I made a point
also of Frederica's behaving civilly to Sir James, and gave her to
understand that I was absolutely determined on her marrying him. She said
something of her misery, but that was all. I have for some time been more
particularly resolved on the match from seeing the rapid increase of her
affection for Reginald, and from not feeling secure that a knowledge of
such affection might not in the end awaken a return. Contemptible as a
regard founded only on compassion must make them both in my eyes, I felt by
no means assured that such might not be the consequence. It is true that
Reginald had not in any degree grown cool towards me; but yet he has lately
mentioned Frederica spontaneously and unnecessarily, and once said
something in praise of her person. HE was all astonishment at the
appearance of my visitor, and at first observed Sir James with an attention
which I was pleased to see not unmixed with jealousy; but unluckily it was
impossible for me really to torment him, as Sir James, though extremely
gallant to me, very soon made the whole party understand that his heart was
devoted to my daughter. I had no great difficulty in convincing De Courcy,
when we were alone, that I was perfectly justified, all things considered,
in desiring the match; and the whole business seemed most comfortably
arranged. They could none of them help perceiving that Sir James was no
Solomon; but I had positively forbidden Frederica complaining to Charles
Vernon or his wife, and they had therefore no pretence for interference;
though my impertinent sister, I believe, wanted only opportunity for doing
so. Everything, however, was going on calmly and quietly; and, though I
counted the hours of Sir James's stay, my mind was entirely satisfied with
the posture of affairs. Guess, then, what I must feel at the sudden
disturbance of all my schemes; and that, too, from a quarter where I had
least reason to expect it. Reginald came this morning into my dressing-‐room
with a very unusual solemnity of countenance, and after some preface
informed me in so many words that he wished to reason with me on the
impropriety and unkindness of allowing Sir James Martin to address my
daughter contrary to her inclinations. I was all amazement. When I found
that he was not to be laughed out of his design, I calmly begged an
explanation, and desired to know by what he was impelled, and by whom
commissioned, to reprimand me. He then told me, mixing in his speech a few
insolent compliments and ill-‐timed expressions of tenderness, to which I
listened with perfect indifference, that my daughter had acquainted him
with some circumstances concerning herself, Sir James, and me which had
given him great uneasiness. In short, I found that she had in the first
place actually written to him to request his interference, and that, on
receiving her letter, he had conversed with her on the subject of it, in
order to understand the particulars, and to assure himself of her real
wishes. I have not a doubt but that the girl took this opportunity of
making downright love to him. I am convinced of it by the manner in which
he spoke of her. Much good may such love do him! I shall ever despise the
man who can be gratified by the passion which he never wished to inspire,
nor solicited the avowal of. I shall always detest them both. He can have
no true regard for me, or he would not have listened to her; and SHE, with
her little rebellious heart and indelicate feelings, to throw herself into
the protection of a young man with whom she has scarcely ever exchanged two
words before! I am equally confounded at HER impudence and HIS credulity.
How dared he believe what she told him in my disfavour! Ought he not to
have felt assured that I must have unanswerable motives for all that I had
done? Where was his reliance on my sense and goodness then? Where the
resentment which true love would have dictated against the person defaming
me-‐-‐that person, too, a chit, a child, without talent or education, whom he
had been always taught to despise? I was calm for some time; but the
greatest degree of forbearance may be overcome, and I hope I was afterwards
sufficiently keen. He endeavoured, long endeavoured, to soften my
resentment; but that woman is a fool indeed who, while insulted by
accusation, can be worked on by compliments. At length he left me, as
deeply provoked as myself; and he showed his anger more. I was quite cool,
but he gave way to the most violent indignation; I may therefore expect it
will the sooner subside, and perhaps his may be vanished for ever, while
mine will be found still fresh and implacable. He is now shut up in his
apartment, whither I heard him go on leaving mine. How unpleasant, one
would think, must be his reflections! but some people's feelings are
incomprehensible. I have not yet tranquillised myself enough to see
Frederica. SHE shall not soon forget the occurrences of this day; she shall
find that she has poured forth her tender tale of love in vain, and exposed
herself for ever to the contempt of the whole world, and the severest
resentment of her injured mother.
Your affectionate
S. VERNON.