True Colors
Heather had mixed feelings about accepting a dinner invitation from her mom. She loved the home cooking and the comfortable memories it brought with it but wondered if the evening would be worth it. Dinner with the family was always hit or miss, either going very smoothly or ending in complete disaster. The inability to predict which dinner would turn into a war of tensions and which would find its way into her happy memory bank always made her mom’s invitations frightening.
Heather thought about walking into Jack and Tommy’s bedrooms to nag for them to get ready. Lost sneakers and hidden keys often stalled them an extra ten minutes and she was trying to get a headstart on the chaos. Her teenager walked into the kitchen barefoot, arms in the air defensively.
“I can’t find my socks, Mom,” Tommy insisted.
She couldn’t prevent the eyeroll. She hated to make them think she was annoyed by them but sometimes she just wanted to shake her sons back to reality. She rolled her eyes and talked herself out of an outburst. She loved her sons and wanted them to grow into decent, responsible and honest men. She knew the honesty part would be a challenge since she had her own lifetime battle with the truth and was pretty certain the boys had caught her penchant for dishonesty.
There were many worries she didn’t have in regard to her oldest son and Heather was grateful for each one of them. She hadn’t caught him sneaking out or drinking or using drugs and she hadn’t found used condoms in his room. She’d never had to listen to a stammering and hesitant speech about a pregnant girlfriend and didn’t get phone calls from the police station telling her that her teenager had been arrested or, God forbid, in a drunk driving accident.
Heather appreciated the things Tommy did but even more, she adored him for the person he was on the inside. He had been a beautiful child who caught the attention of everyone who passed by. His uniqueness called out from the richest and snottiest to the most desolate and poor and it said the same thing to all of them – I am your friend.
He had a soul she believed had been nurtured over many lifetimes in order to become what he was today. Tommy would give a stranger the shirt off his back and would defend the honor of those who deserved it as well as those who didn’t. He was kind and compassionate and more secure about himself at age sixteen than she was at thirty-five. Heather felt a gushing pride at the good person he had grown into.
Since the moment she first looked into his eyes, she had been proud to introduce Tommy as her son. As he grew older and began to find his talents, Heather looked for every opportunity to introduce him as her own. His creative guitar playing and relaxed style convinced Heather he had a chance at fame. His leadership and basic sense of rightness convinced her he had a chance to become huge.
The struggles they did have were painful for Heather but luckily, they were still in the mild stages. She had caught him lying but it didn’t bother her as much as when he justified his lies. She had also discovered that stealing came much easier to him than it should be but no matter what sins Heather caught her son battling, nothing hurt her more than when he pulled away from her. She knew he was a normal teenager showing signs of typical rebellion but the awareness didn’t make it hurt less. The separation left her with a void and she resented that she’d been forced to accept the role of the dictator and punisher in his life.
Heather trusted they would return to the place where both understood one another. There would be time again for mother and son to share their common love for music and movies. They would have more chances to sit in front of the TV and laugh together at their favorite comedians while they stuffed their faces with popcorn.
Heather knew there would be a chance for them to make more music videos together and she couldn’t wait. The project had given them the chance to combine their love of music with her need to hold onto a connection. They would find a time in the future to run from one theatre into another in the hopes of catching a free movie. Regardless of the ruts they sometimes found themselves in, Heather knew she and Tommy would be able to share their need for risk and adventure together again and she held onto that knowledge t