I Miss You
Heather ran through the front door so fast that she almost hit the wall in front of her. She was soaked from hair to boot and still felt as though she were being followed long after she walked inside her house. She kicked off her wet boots and headed for the living room knowing she would find the boys there. She didn’t want to do anything else before she hugged them. She relieved Angie of her bodyguard duties and thanked her again before heading down the hallway.
“Hey guys,” she called out.
“Hey, Mom,” Tommy said looking up from his computer.
He stopped what he was doing long enough to answer her and then returned his attention to the waiting monitor.
“Mommy!’ Jack yelled.
He ran up to her and gave her a hug. Heather wondered how much longer she had before he decided he was too old for all of her affections. She returned his embrace and made kissing sounds that told him she had one ready. Jack offered tightly pursed lips and she responded to them happily.
She made it to her bedroom and closed the door. Her confidence was all an act and she wondered if the boys saw through it. Heather opened the door again when another thought struck.
“Have you guys eaten?” she called out.
“Angie ordered a pizza and had it delivered!” Tommy called back.
Heather closed the door again and silently thanked her friend. She didn’t have time for guilt and reminded herself that the boys had eaten and that was the important part. Her focus had always been keeping her sons happy but all of that had changed. Now, she just wanted to keep them safe. Heather started throwing clothes into her borrowed blue suitcase.
She had made the decision that staying at Damon’s house was a good idea after all, lest she never sleep again. She would always keep one eye open as she strained to hear sounds that didn’t belong. Heather looked down at the folded clothes and remembered another time in her life when she had packed with the same emotion.
Heather had been nine years old and her family was visiting their chalet in Vermont. The trip was their parents’ last attempt at reunifying and Heather knew, even at her young age, that it hadn’t been successful. She knew that when they got home, her life would change forever so she hadn’t wanted to leave.
She just kept playing with her Barbie dolls until her parents insisted she get into the car with them. As they pulled away from the chalet, Heather continued to wave at it the whole way down the gravelly drive. She still remembered the scent of their departure that day. Cedar from the trees surrounding them combined with the fragrance of jasmine to provide her the olfactory strength she would need. When her mother asked who she was waving to, Heather had advised her that she was waving goodbye to herself.
She heard another blast of thunder and walked to her bedroom window. The turquoise curtains had been drawn shut and Heather opened them only wide enough to peek out. She tried to see past the rain and into her dark backyard but she couldn’t make out anything. If she hadn’t been squinting in search of a psychopathic killer, she would have enjoyed the sight of the windy trees and the sound of the thunder much more.
Someone knocked on the bedroom door and Heather jumped. She saw the doorknob start to turn and flashed back to the time a man had broken into her house while she was home alone. She inhaled deeply and adopted a defensive stance as the door began to open.
“Mommy?” Jack asked.
Heather jumped at his voice and then felt a stab of guilt when she realized she had almost karate chopped her child.
“What’s up, honey?” she asked, trying to feign a stable voice.
“Aren’t you gonna cuddle me?” he asked.
Jack looked so cute with his mess of dark curls aimed in every direction.
“Yes, baby. I’ll be there in just a sec,” she answered.
He smiled and closed the door.
Heather thought about taking her anxiety medication. It would have been completely appropriate under the circumstances but she didn’t want to chance passing out and sleeping through an attack.
After she cuddled with Jack, Heather watched music videos with Tommy. Then she told her boys good night and closed their bedroom doors. She glanced at the clock and felt an involuntary shudder when she saw that it was 11:10.
Deciding a relaxing bath was the next best prescription, Heather headed toward the bathroom and sat on the side of her big garden tub. She twisted the handles inside and water sprang to life, fi