Seven Nation Army
Pastor Eric smiled and Heather knew she’d ended up in his presence for a reason. She needed to learn more and somehow knew the answers were grounded in religion. She wasn’t sure why since she was the least religious person she had ever known but she was interested in anything that would help her to not die anytime soon.
Pastor Eric wore a pair of jeans and a red T-shirt with the church logo on it. His dark wavy hair looked as perfect, as usual. He was always dressed casually and his laid back attitude helped to earn him a huge congregation. His parishioners were loaded and what they lacked in morality, they made up for in money. Most of them truly believed their weekly trips to church absolved them of their sins.
The hypocrisy of the church had been the part Heather hated most as a child. As an adult, she discovered that her distaste lie more in the weakness of their minds than their habit of living one way and preaching another. In their desperate bid to pave a golden road for themselves post death, they had allowed themselves to believe the teachings of others rather than finding the answers within themselves. Heather began the conversation with her pastor by telling him exactly that.
“Heather, we don’t have the answers by ourselves. Our answers come only through Him.” His voice was soft but firm. She saw the same concern in his eyes that she often saw from her aunts and uncles and cousins. It’s the look you give a dead man walking and Heather wanted to scream at him to stop. She didn’t like being looked at with sympathy or like a Pagan in trouble.
“I don’t want to have a debate with you if that’s all right. I mean no disrespect, I promise. I just need some answers that I think you can give me,” she said, trying to hide the desperation.
“I’d be happy to help you, Heather. What’s got you so riled up today,” he asked.
She had thought to visit her old pastor after the memory of her Sunday school class teased her while she sat on Dr. Angel’s couch. It was a memory she had always held steadfastly to and she felt the need for an answer. She sensed it was important.
“When I was really little, one of your teachers told our class that if we didn’t believe in God, we would burn in Hell forever. I got really scared because my father didn’t believe and figured the lady would take it back when I told her that my dad wasn’t a believer but she didn’t. She told me, sadly, that she was sorry but he wouldn’t be meeting me in heaven. I cried and ran out and found my mom. She was furious with the teacher.”
“I agree. That was needless and she should have worded things differently. I’m sorry you were made to be scared at an age too young to handle it.”
“What? Are you saying that you agree with her words, just not the way she said them?”
“Of course I agree with her words, Heather. It says it in the Bible. All you have to do is accept Jesus into your heart and really mean for . . . .”
“And all my sins are gone?” she interrupted loudly. “In God’s eyes, yes.”
“That is so convenient. I mean, to be able to commit all kinds of sins and live any way you want and then just ask for forgiveness and it’s gone, poof.”
Heather knew she was threatening the lines of respect in this room as well and the pastor shook his head in pity over her inability to grasp the concept.
“Heather, what about your own family? You don’t doubt that they live a Christian life, do you?” he asked, obviously trying a different tactic.
Heather thought about them and knew she couldn’t honestly say that they lived anything but decent and productive lives. Their communities were better for having them. Their hearts were warm and their acts were kind. Everything they did came from their love for God.
“No, I don’t. But they’re hypocrites in the worst way.”
“In what way?” he challenged.
“All the attempts they made to bring me in and make me a faithful follower only pushed me away further,” she complained.
“How?” he asked. “Explain it to me.”
Heather eased up a little. Her pastor was listening and even better, he was saving judgment. At least he was on the outside.
“Do you remember when I started going to a Pentecostal church?” she asked.
He cringed.
“Yeah, I know,” she added. “I’ve discovered it’s not your favorite neighboring religion. Anyway, I only started going because I had a crush on a kid there but then, I started getting into it. I started believing the Bible and started reading out of interest, not because of the threat of eternal damnation. I stopped smoking cigarettes and quit hanging out with the bad kids. I even brought my Bible to school so that I could share my peace and my faith with other kids.” She rolled her ey