The Crab Man Chapter 2
Eddie’s comedy show was great. Fortunately for me the voice that lives inside my head (Pastor Edwards) talks louder than Eddie and I was able to zone him out to prevent myself from laughing at his jokes. My mission today was very serious. I knew everything about this comedian and I felt comforted knowing that he knew absolutely NOTHING about me. Eddie Spaghetti was in fact my long feared nemesis he just didn’t realize it yet. I liked knowing that he was walking right into a conspiracy story that unless he was quick to learn his Super Powers he would have no chance to escape the deep pile of shit he was about to step into.
So how is it that Eddie was about to step into my shit storm without knowing a thing about me? Let’s just say that he has something I want and vice versa. I have something Eddie has spent his entire life looking for. I know where to find the Scribble Kid and I also know that Eddie will do whatever it takes to know the whereabouts of the Scribble Kid. But what did Eddie inadvertently do to me? He encroached upon my top secret rendezvous point that was meant to furtively exchange information with Spyder Woman. But Eddie’s encroachment wasn’t the straw that broke the camel's back. I have reason to believe that Eddie stole something very important at the secret place at the rocks. Oh yes I’m convinced Eddie stole a very important document that didn’t belong to him. And the VIP document that came up missing from the place at the rocks? A document meant to go to the “Original Spyder Woman” (Not the current Spyder Woman).
As I inched my way nice and slowly towards the Comedian I intentionally breathed heavy through my N-95 mask so my glasses would fog up. I didn’t want Eddie to see my deadpan eyes up close just yet until things got crazy later and the moment would be just right. Eddie intentionally ignored me at this point but I surmised it was because he felt compelled to give his undivided attention to his loyal fans shaking his hand as they exited the show. Some even insisted on giving him a hug on the way out and that’s when I knew my plan was falling into place just right. The hot air I exhaled tickled my nose and I almost caught myself about to sneeze. It was working though and the condensation did an excellent job of fogging up my glasses. It was soon “my” turn to give Eddie a mighty fine hand shake and a nice ole bear hug.
You’re almost mine I thought to myself.
Eddie tried to be brave as I accosted him but I could tell it made him nervous not having the ability to make eye contact through my foggy glasses. He even let out a nervous chuckle as I lifted my arms signaling for an embrace.
“Uh-huh…thank you for coming out today but I don’t believe I know you.”
I gave him a great big bear hug giving him the opportunity to smell my expired Old Spice deodorant.
I whispered softly into his left ear to distract him as I furtively slid the little plastic crab pin under his shirt tail for him to find later.
“It’s Bob….people call me Big Bad Bob” I whispered softly into his ear.