CHAPTER 21
Brother Francis wandered back toward the rooming house where he and his friend were staying. It’s afternoon tea time. What a wonderful custom here in North India. I need to remember that I’m not really in Tibet, but India.
He entered a small tea shop on the main road. From his seat in the back of the little room he could look toward the front of the shop and see the majestic mountains through the large windows and open door.
Each table held four to five people comfortably—more if people squeezed in. A short stout man with curly silver hair entered the shop and looked around for a seat. Francis motioned for him to share the table that he was using. The man smiled, walked over, and sat down.
The two men stared at one another for a moment, and then said together: “Don’t I know you?” After a little mental gymnastics on both of their parts, they remembered that they had met a day earlier at the audience with the Dalai Lama. Brother Francis was sharing tea time with one of the many media people who were surrounding his holiness when he was outside of the temple proper greeting Tibetan refugees.
“What a beautiful lilt in your voice,” observed the monk. “Might you be from Ireland?”
“Right you are Brother. You have a good ear. I thought I lost most of my brogue.”
“Half my genes are from Ireland and the other half are from Hungary,” mentioned the monk to the media producer. “In reality, I claim only to be a part of the Kingdom of God. Less fighting that way!”
“What a beautiful philosophy. I think it’s grand to be proud of one’s heritage, but it is not necessary to be competitive about it. It makes for wars, you know.”
“That I do, Kevin,” replied Brother Francis. “I know a PBS producer. Perhaps he can be of help to you in promoting your documentary about the Dalai Lama. I’ll write his name down for you.”
Kevin graciously accepted a crumpled paper with the scribbled name on it. “It’s fascinating to me that we can be from two different countries, meet spontaneously in yet a third and very different country, and have so much in common.”
“That’s the Kingdom of God for you, Kevin!”
“So it is, Brother, so it is.”
The two new friends sipped their tea and felt a wave of relaxation wash over them in the midst of their respite from traveling.
All at once a man started yelling. He stood in the front door jamb dressed in orange robes and rattled on and on at the top of his voice in a mixture of Tibetan and English. No one knew quite what to do so the patrons of the tea shop tried to ignore him. A young girl from behind the counter stopped filling a glass pot with water, looked up, and gently spoke to the man, asking him to calm down and move on. He did.
The girl announced to the people in the shop that the man was not really a Hindu swami, Tibetan monk, or anything of the sort. He was “a little sick” she stated, and usually calmed down if you spoke to him gently.
“What a fine example of good Christian psychology,” observed Brother Francis. “One of my hats is in clinical psychology but that young woman just showed us the best of applied psychology.”
“It confirms what we were just sharing about my brother. War begets war, possessiveness begets possessiveness, and yelling begets yelling. How easily we can forget that.”
“As you know, Kevin, the sacredness of the present moment, the now, is central to Buddhist philosophy. It’s a foundational tenet of Salesian spirituality also. Salesian spirituality is the charism of my spiritual family. It’s the philosophy and theology by which we try to live. I’ve been at it for over forty years now and I’m still a work in progress.”
“Speaking of our struggles to be good people, Brother, how do you feel about the recent stories in the media about the clergy abusing young people?”
“They are painful situations which need healing and accountability. Both the victims and the perpetrators need help. Covering up the situations only makes matters worse. Some people think that clergy abuse is the result of the practice of celibacy by diocesan priests. I think it has more to do with their seminary training.
Before Vatican Council II, seminarians were treated very much like children. Grown men were given little to no responsibility during their student and graduate school years and then they were cast out, as it were, into a parish and told to help others deal with all sorts of life and death problems. Though well intentioned, the newly ordained were not very mature themselves. Sexual abuse is an abuse of power primarily and it is expressed in a genital way.”
“Wow, someone ought to make a documentary about that! You mentioned diocesan clergy when you spoke of celibacy. Is there another type of clergy?”
“Yes, Kevin, those members of religious orders who are also priests. You probably had Jesuits, Franciscans, Dominicans, and the like in Ireland, didn’t you?”
Yes, and those folks have vows of poverty, chastity, Eureka, I got it, and obedience, correct?”
“Correct. Clergy who are under a local bishop and belong to a diocese are required to make a promise of celibacy to the Bishop. They do not have a vow, which is always to God, of chastity like a monk or nun, or religious order priest. While there is a strong tradition of clerical celibacy, there is no scriptural requirement for the promise of celibacy for diocesan priests. Scripture and tradition, however, clearly call monastics to chastity and celibacy, whether they are Hindu, Buddhist, or Christian. The vows are supposed to be a way of loving and a path to inner freedom but, sadly, many view them as a deprivation.
“While I’m on my soapbox, Kevin, Christian monks and nuns actually have a slightly different focus to their vows as distinct from the vows of Religious Sisters and Brothers in other Orders. We vow Conversion of Life, Stability, and Obedience. Conversion implies an ongoing search for God by growing in simplicity and purity of heart, and that vow includes poverty and chastity. Stability means that we ordinarily are not transferred to other monasteries but live our entire monastic life in one community. On a much deeper level, stability means perseverance unto death. Obedience is the same for all Religious—a life of listening for the will of God and trying to respond to what we discern as God’s will for us.
“I’m a purist in almost everything I do. Vocational concepts have gotten far too muddied up, so to speak. That could lead us into a discussion about the need to be more supportive of the vocation to the single life or widowhood, but that’s another soapbox.”
“That is so interesting, Brother Francis. So, are you suggesting that if seminary students were clearer on what their vocation really is and are treated in a more mature manner, that they would grow up and grow into their vocations in a healthier way?”
“Yes Kevin, that is what I am suggesting. We do need to remember that every profession has its problems, not just the clergy, while not excusing the abuse in any way. I held these views long before the clergy scandals hit the press and even tried to share my ideas with some bishops. I got mixed reviews, so to speak.”
“I sense a little pain there. At least you did what you thought best, even if it did not go over very well.”
“Yes, and I have ministered to people on both sides of the abuse situation and am honored to do so. Jesus and the Buddha teach us to be compassionate. I try to be that, building on justice.”
“Just yesterday the Dalai Lama said that when we exercise compassion we need to include ourselves in the mix. I believe he called it maitri.”
“Yes, Kevin, we are often trained to be compassionate toward others but forget to exercise it toward ourselves. If we exercise true maitri, and include ourselves, I think we wind up back at the Kingdom of God, a place where peace and justice can truly reign. This side of eternity, we are still working on it, however.”
The waitress came over, said that she overheard their conversation, knew who they both were, and would like their tea to be “on the roof.”
Kevin and Brother Francis looked at one another quizzically, then both laughed and said together” “I think she means ‘on the house.’”
“That’s it! We’re on the house in the Kingdom of Tibet, which is in the Kingdom of God. Thanks gentlemen.”