Dick Hacks the Hoodoos by Dick Avery - HTML preview

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Tete-a-Tete for Two

Chapter 15

 

“Damn it Arno, this crap has to stop!” The Honorable Ambrose Simmons, U.S. Ambassador Plenipotentiary and Extraordinaire, was venting his frustration and anger at Arno Richard, the Foreign Minister of Haiti. In practical terms, the relationship between the two gentlemen, the two nations, was topsy-turvy. The United States was by far the largest, single contributor of development aid and humanitarian assistance to Haiti. And Arno understood the dynamics of the one-sided partnership very well. He also knew which side his country’s croissant was buttered on.

“But Ambrose,” Arno protested, “I’m not the gendarmerie! This seems to be a criminal case. What can my ministry do to assist you in this matter?” 

“Must I remind you that your country is a signatory to the Vienna Convention and responsible for our mission here? Arno, do you even know what the convention is and your duties under it?”

The ambassador was hot under the collar although the room was well air conditioned.

“You, and much of the city, know who’s behind these incidents, The Family. But we’re getting no help from the Haitian government. The organization is operating with impunity since your gendarmerie simply turn a blind eye to what’s happening.”

“There’s no need to be impolite and rude Ambrose. We’ve been looking into these incidents as you call them and find no direct involvement of The Family. As you’re aware, it has many followers and is a respected institution within our country. You also know it’s a political force to be reckoned with. Yes, there’s the issue. We don’t want to interfere, or be perceived to interfere, with the political process in Haiti. Our constitution forbids such things and we must uphold the law of the land. Perhaps these things you mention have run their course and will cease of their own accord.”

“Oh yeah, Arno, when pigs fly or the U.S. Mission to Haiti falls to its knees. We both know what this is about. It’s a game of realpolotik by the Russians using its Cuban lackeys to disrupt U.S. diplomatic relations with our neighbors in the Caribbean. That’s the truth of the matter. So what are you going to do?”

“Not much, I’m afraid. My hands are tied, my friend. Best try pleading your case to the gendarmerie. They might help.”

“Your gendarmerie is a standing joke. Much of its senior leadership is on Mama Mambo’s payroll. Do you really think I’ll get any help from that quarter?”  

“Perhaps you underestimate them.”

“Perhaps I’ve overestimated you, Arno. However, I thought this might be the outcome of our meeting, so here’s what I’m going to do, effective today. The project to rebuild the road between Port-au-Prince to the border of the Dominican Republic will cease operation. The hundreds of Haitian workers will be out of a job, including the many ghost workers on the payroll. The dam and waterway project in Cap Haitian is now suspended with similar effect.”

“Oh, effective immediately, visas for Haitian government officials are suspended until further notice. Those already issued will be rescinded. However, humanitarian aid will continue apace. We’re not so callous as to cut off assistance to the poorest of the poor of your country. More punitive actions will follow until your government acts in good faith by upholding your responsibilities under the Vienna Convention.”

“Mon dui, but, but you can’t do that!” Arno sputtered while getting to his feet.

“Oh, but I can and will. I’ve already received clearances from Washington. Good day, sir!”

With the farewell, Ambrose stormed out of the office. With the same farewell, Arno reluctantly picked up the phone and called his counterpart at the Ministry of Justice. The nasty, brown stuff had just hit the fan!