Dick Hacks the Hoodoos by Dick Avery - HTML preview

Afterword

I was back in the principal’s office like the recalcitrant, misbehaving student Jersey Briggs believed me to be. I was about to get the standard lecture about goofing-off on government time and wasting taxpayer money. I knew the spiel by heart and tuned-out the harsh sounds of my ass being chewed. I didn’t like to see a grown man cry, especially me.

After he got that bit of nonsense off his chest, I gave him a verbal after-action report. He’d get a hardcopy later when I could be more creative and self-serving, just like everyone else in the building. I meant self-serving and not creative. It would be much the same for my expense voucher, only less transparent.

“So Richard, its sounds like you had fun in the sun. Is that the takeaway message from your little sojourn in the Caribbean?”

“Not quite true Jersey, but I won’t quibble with your interpretation. Oh, by the by, I brought back a little gift for you. Maybe you can frame it and put it on the wall with all the other remembrances. Here it is.”

He shot me a snarky look while opening the box.

“What’s this, a doll, you thought I’d like a doll? Have you gone soft in the head or gay on me Richard? Is this some kind of infantile regression on your part?”

“No, not at all, it’s a special doll, a handcrafted child’s toy from Haiti. Maybe one of your kids will enjoy playing with it. Take it home and see.”

“What are these funny looking pins for?”

“Oh those things, those are for tacking it to a wall or bulletin board if you want to pin it up somewhere. Maybe you could loop a piece of string around its neck to hang it too. According to local lore, the doll supposedly brings good luck to the owner, you in this instance. We all need some of that stuff from time to time, right? And here’s the best part. Its powers are especially effective for those seeking fame and fortune…. and career advancement.”

“Also, the luck increases tenfold so I’m told if you place a couple of your hairs or fingernail clippings on its body, just something personal to increase the positive karma, I guess. Of course, it’s only superstitious nonsense, I’m sure. No worries, my friend.”

“Now about my next assignment, how about throwing me a bone with some meat left on it for a change? That would be nice!”

“Richard, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Hey, I sort of like this thing, maybe it’ll grow on me, thanks.”

“I hope so Jersey, for your sake. See ya later gator.”

 I never got the standard, expected reply. With Jersey, it would be all a crock anyway!