Twenty years ago.
"Jimmy, I need you to tell me what you see when you look at this picture." Dr. Waters said, in a soothing voice. He was trying to placate the disturbed little child.
"I see black splotches on a piece of paper." Jimmy replied, after a moment of hesitation. He was only seven years old and had never seen a Rorschach test before. He did not know what the stupid doctor wanted him to see. All he saw was that the doctor had carelessly spilled a bunch of ink on some paper. It was messy, but he liked messy. Too much order and tidiness surrounded him. How could a kid have any fun when he was expected to keep everything so damn clean? If the doctor was messy, maybe he wasn't so bad after all.
"I realize what this is, but I want you to tell me what the shapes of the ink blots look like." Dr. Waters responded. "Some people see pictures when they look at these shapes. Do you see any pictures?"
So it was just a test. Jimmy hated tests. Everybody was always trying to test him. Teachers wanted to know how good he could spell. Gym teachers wanted to know how fast he could run. Swimming instructors wanted to know how long he could stay under water. Now this jerk wanted to know if he saw any pictures when he looked at a piece of paper with ink on it.
"It looks like a puddle of ink." Jimmy said. This was a stupid test.
"Yes, Jimmy, that is because it is a puddle of ink. Does the puddle of ink have a shape that looks like anything else?" Dr. Waters tried again.
Clearly the stupid jerk was not going to give up. Jimmy did not want to take this dumb test all day, so he decided to cooperate. He looked closer at the splotches of ink. They really did look like a puddle. It looked like one big puddle with smaller puddles around it. How could puddles look like anything else?
Then it came to him that maybe the problem was that the ink made the puddle the wrong color. Puddles were not black. They were brown if they had mud in them. Puddles on sidewalks and roads were clear. He had seen a different sort of puddle lately, though. This one had been red and resembled the puddle on the piece of paper better than the other kinds of puddles.
In fact, the more he thought about it, the more the red puddle was nearly identical to what he was looking at right now. A fountain of red pouring onto the ground came into his mind's eye. An initial spurt had left smaller spots on the ground, but most of it had been poured into the big puddle. Small red ripples appeared and seemed to move in slow motion as little red drops impacted its surface. It had been beautiful, almost hypnotic. He had almost forgotten the whole thing, but now this test brought it all back.
"It looks like a puddle of blood from a slit throat." He said, involuntarily licking his lips. He could still taste the blood on the blade of his pocket knife. His mother had taken the knife away from him. She was stupid.
"Okay, good." Dr. Waters said, picking up another piece of paper. "Now tell me what you see in this ink blot."
Good. The stupid doctor had said that it was good. Yes, it had been good. So why was he here if the doctor agreed that puddles of blood were good? He thought this stupid doctor was supposed to cure his 'sickness' even though he didn't think he was sick. He was just having fun. Who cared about what he did to stupid animals anyway?
"It looks like a ghost." Jimmy said. "You know, like a wraith or something."
"A wraith?" Dr. Waters asked.
"Yeah, I read these books called the Lord of the Rings, and there were these dead guys called wraiths in there. That ink splotch looks kind of how I think they would look like. See? There are the arms reaching out to get you." Jimmy said, beaming now.
"Do you like these wraiths?" Dr. Waters asked.
"Yeah, they are really cool." Jimmy said. "I wish I was like them. They can't be killed, and they go around killing people to serve their dark master."
"Jimmy, I am surprised that you have already read those books. They are pretty advanced reading for a kid your age. Maybe that is why you didn't realize that the wraiths are bad guys." Doctor Waters said. Jimmy didn't like being talked down to like this. He had understood the books just fine.
"They weren't bad guys." Jimmy said. "They were just trying to get the ring back. It had been stolen from their master and they were trying to get it back. The bad guys wanted to destroy the ring and ruin everything. They finally did. It was a really stupid ending."
"Jimmy, I think you missed the point." Dr. Waters said. "The dark lord wanted to kill everybody. He was a really bad guy."
"They cut off his hand and stole his ring." Jimmy said. "I would want to kill them too. Have you ever killed anything, Dr. Waters?"
"No, I believe everything has the same right to life as I do." The doctor said.
"You're stupid." Jimmy said.
"That is not polite." Dr. Waters responded.
"But it is true." Jimmy said.
"Why do you think that?" The jerk asked.
"You think that you have a right to live." Jimmy said. "Nothing has a right to live. If you can't stay alive, you don't deserve to live. Weak things should die. That is what science says. When you kill something, you make the world a better place."
"I think you are referring to natural selection. The survival of the fittest. That interpretation is not exactly what Charles Darwin meant. He never said that the death of anything was good." Dr. Waters said. He was talking down to him again.
"Every time something weak dies, there are less weak things in the world. That means that when all the weak things are dead, the whole world is filled with nothing but strong things. Weak is bad; strong is good. The world is better off without weak things." Jimmy said. "If you think that you deserve to live just because you are alive, you are stupid."
"Is that why you like to hurt animals, Jimmy?"
Jimmy was quiet. He did not like this doctor. This doctor was dumb. He was weak. He should die, but Jimmy was not big enough to kill him yet. Why should he answer any more of the stupid questions? He was not sick. The world was sick. It was full of stupid people.
"Jimmy, please answer me. Do you hurt animals because they are weaker than you? Do you kill them to make the world a better place?"
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. You are stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. I want to kill you. I will kill you. You will die. You don't deserve to live. You are weak and stupid. Shut up. This was what Jimmy wanted to say, but he remained silent. He couldn't make the stupid doctor understand.
"Jimmy?"
He wasn't even a real doctor. Jimmy had been to see real doctors before when he had actually been sick. He had run a high fever and the doctor gave him medicine to make him feel better. It had tasted awful, but it had worked. This man did not have medicine. He had a couch. What kind of dumb doctor had a couch and made you look at pictures?
"Jimmy, I need you to answer me."
Why was this stupid doctor still talking? He was weak and he needed to die. He needed to shut up and die. Jimmy did not have a sick brain. He knew what he was talking about. He had read books by smart people. Darwin knew that only strong things deserved to live. Darwin was smart. Dr. Waters was stupid.
"Jimmy, I can't help you if you don't talk to me."
Shut up, shut up, shut up. I hate you. I hate my mom. None of you understand. I haven't done anything wrong. You are all stupid. I hate you all. I will kill you.
"Jimmy, you need to answer me."
"Call me Wraith." Jimmy said at last.