It would be my unforgettable day of my life. I could promise anybody, even if I were affected by dementia or Alzheimer’s, I would not forget what happened that day. It would just not suffice to say, it was the happiest day of my life.
I was anticipating the phone call for long. Each passing second was an hour to me. I could not resist hearing the phone bell ring.
Patience. I was waiting for five full minutes that is exactly three hundred seconds. My anxiety levels had reached a peak and I waited actually for three hundred hours, it felt.
Finally the suspense was to be over, if not for the connection error. The phone bell rang, I lifted the receiver.
My grandfather was on that side:“Hello”
I replied, saying “It’s useless!!Come to the matter”.
Perhaps, I was a bit harsh but then I was anxious as well.
He spoke “You have a sibling. Congratulations Kaushik!!! I heard you were desperate to have one, your mother was telling”.
But mother, you did not ask him to tell whether its sister or brother?
My curt reply started and finished like “yes”.
And yes, the phone line had snapped. The phone was dead.
It’s irritating to know you have a sibling but whether a boy or a girl, you don’t know. I was not to know about it until I came back from school.
****
That was perhaps my worst outing to school. My attention was somewhere else while the teacher moaned on something useless. Well, everything was useless until my question was not answered and for that I had to reach home soon. Remember? Each second was an hour.
At very long last, the school gave over for the day. I was surprised to see my father take that day off. Was a bad news in store for me?
I asked him “Brother or sister.”
His reply was no reply. He came back home silently. I had to. Thank God, he had ensured to have got the phone line back on again and just as I reached home, the bell rang.
“Hello, sister or brother? Why don’t you tell me?” I was yelling.
There was silence.
I was afraid.
I was afraid of the reply.
I was afraid of the past.
I was afraid of the past that had given me only losses.
I prayed God for change in my luck.
I felt change was good, for once.
“Yes, your parents have been blessed with a daughter, Kaushik”.
Well, it is in some people’s blood to give you indirect answers; indirect answers for straight forward questions.
Nevertheless, the caller shall be pardoned. He had given me favourable news.
My prayers had won.
I had won.
****
To celebrate the birth of my sister, it was apt for me to organize a party. My sister would celebrate her birthday, in absentia. We had all the decorations ready and I had gone to my neighbourhood to announce the hastily but meticulously arranged party. Everybody congratulated me and had promised their arrival at my home.
The usual party fervor was there, no doubt. But then, I too had a feeling of missing the host of the day. I had hardly got the message of her birth, but within those few hours itself, I started missing her.
They ate pastries and chips, drank cool drinks, laughed, played and would have surely thoroughly enjoyed the party. But me, I saw them doing all that but did not do accompany them with that. I understood I was a bad host. I understood I was being possessive. I understood that I was messing up with the very reason of the party, but what can I do?
Before I found the answer, Thank God, my father had waked me up from my dream; a bad dream to commemorate an auspicious event.
But it meant something as well: The attitude of losing had mixed with my blood.
Unless and until I acted fast, I acted smart; I knew I was waging a losing battle with life. I knew I was waging a losing battle with fate.
I knew I was waging a losing battle with destiny.