The rest of the year had passed without any more fireworks. My sister’s birthday was celebrated but not with much show and pomp. The New Year had dawned. Ten months had passed.
****
“You would be presented with a new mridangam”, I heard my father saying.
I was sulking over my decision to skip this year’s Nehru Bal Mela competition. I had just put forth my idea, or decision, to my father. I expected some hard core scolding but I was surprised with what I heard.
He had made an offer. It should be carrying some conditions with it, I was musing, when he spoke:
“But one condition, you must practice had, very hard; put your whole heart and mind this time and then leave the rest to God. Are you ok?”
I had already told myself not to mind much about last year’s defeat. My mind gave me an idea, perhaps it’s revenge time, give your best Kaushik; no expectations, no disappointments.
I said, “Deal”. I was ready to deal with the challenge.
****
I had chosen Roopaka thalam this time. It was so far not tried and tested by me. I knew I had practiced to the best of my ability; the best practice I had had for mridangam in a long, long time.
It was my D-day. My name was called for as the next contestant. Yes, for all these years I was a participant, now I was a contestant. That was the best frame of mind I think I ever had had. I told myself : no expectations, no disappointments.
What followed next was the best ten minutes I had experienced. I wanted it to go on for eternity. But this time also passed. As I went off the stage, whatever the result, I knew one thing: I had done my best.
After all the contestants had their chance, it was result time. This time I knew I was in for a chance. But again, I simply controlled my emotions, for the past has not been in your favour, Kaushik, I reminded myself.
The judge announced the verdict. Third prize goes to...not my name. Second prize goes to...unlucky here as well. My heart sank. I was just about to leave the arena when I heard my name being called.
I had won the first prize, they told.
****
Even this year was about to end. Only some two hours were left. I had spent ten years in this world, had seen what failure was, what success was and how to achieve that success. As I went to sleep, I recollected my achievements this year. No doubt it was a comparatively successful year. It had showed to me how to achieve success, gain confidence and look forward to new events.
A change in attitude was noticed by me, by myself. It felt good. My opinion on change changed, I knew I had to embrace change, how much ever I may not like it. Also change is always not for the worse.
Change: My outlook on you has changed. You are neither my friend nor my enemy.