CHAPTER 4 - CHINA
His eyes burned and his head ached but he could not put the parchments down. Brother Francis devoured the French words whenever socialization, time, and manners permitted it. This was often late at night and was a slow process for him.
"My dear daughter in the Lord,
“It fills me with both joy and sadness to hear from you--joy because of the courage you display in the midst of this most challenging of situations and sadness, of course, because of the challenging situation itself. The slowness of our ability to communicate through the mail frustrates me mildly on the human level. On the spiritual level I know that our good God will use all of this, including these unending delays in our ability to communicate, for the greater good of all things considered. Not being a parent, I can only guess at the anguish you must be experiencing concerning the comfort of your children. Living in a household controlled by, how shall I put this, a cranky old man, can only be a source of sorrow for you. The children of God, in fact all children, are meant to laugh and play joyfully. There is time enough for them to have to deal with the harsher realities of getting through this life. I do not mean that we are always in misery here on earth, but that life can be very difficult at times.
“Unfortunately, many people believe that spirituality and religion are ways of avoiding the harshness of life. Life's harshness cannot be avoided, and seeking to do so through religion, in my opinion, is unhealthy. All that our good God promises is that God will be with us in everything we encounter. I have never been one to believe that God purposely sends anyone difficulties in order for them to grow or learn something. Life happens, and God meets us in the circumstances of our life. I do not believe that God wants you to be in such dire straits. I also believe that God is just as much a mother as a father. As such, I am sure that our good God can relate to your struggles as a mother and a widow.
“One blessing, if I can call it that, of my chronic insomnia, is that I am afforded the time and space to write letters such as this one. In the dark of night, when good folks are asleep, I am sitting at my writing desk with quill in hand most nights of the week. Life always holds something of interest for me during the day. I recently, for example, came upon a young man who could not hear or speak very well. I communicated with him as best I could, and even created a simple sign language so that we might speak more easily. His physical challenges make it especially difficult for him to obtain work. I hired him as a worker in my household. He is exceptionally good at the important but everyday things in life, for example, keeping the fire lit in the fireplace, doing the shopping, cooking small meals, and so forth.
“Little things are the heart of the matter, as I see it. Life is made up of little things most of the time. If we can be faithful in little matters, scripture says, God will give us greater things to do. I believe that it is just as important to wash the laundry peacefully and to the best of our ability as it is to exercise what might be more publicly esteemed duties in Church or state. It is the love with which we do things, not the actions themselves, that make them holy.
"Some years ago I had a spiritual vision. I am not given to visions ordinarily, or any other unusual spiritual experiences for that matter. I find it more practical to do the duties of one’s state in life as a way of responding to God than seeking out unusual spiritual phenomena. Having said that, I did see, at least in my mind’s eye, a woman dressed in widow’s weeds. I knew in my heart that she was to play a significant role in my life. I did not obsess about trying to find her but simply continued on with the duties of my state. When I visited the cathedral in this area at the request of a colleague, to speak during the season of Lent, it was simply because I was invited to do so. I find God's will as much in what others say and do as in the commands of state and Church leaders.
"Imagine my surprise when I gazed down from the ornate carved wooden pulpit and saw you, a young woman in widow’s garb, sitting in the front row. Your face and bearing were identical to the woman in my vision from years before. I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but it distracted me so much that I needed to pause for a moment and catch my breath. What was God saying to me? How was I to proceed?
"Dawn is rapidly approaching and I am going to try to sleep a little. In the morning I am scheduled to go on my appointed rounds to visit the sick and the poor. Some say that this is not appropriate work for a bishop, but I say that it is perhaps the most important ministry of all.
"Stay strong my daughter. You and I and Jesus will work all this out together.
+ Francis de Sales, Bishop of Geneva”