CHAPTER 16 - CHINA
The golden papers crackled in the tired monk’s hands. His Chinese trip was tiring him out but when the last of his jetlag was gone he would, as always, be fine. The words on the documents painted pictures in the monk's mind. He always enjoyed the theater of the mind, preferring audio-books to printed books when not studying, and seeking out old-time radio shows on the Internet. Here’s what he saw:
Madame de Chantal sat in the Bishop’s garden and enjoyed a late fall day. Bishop Francis de Sales joined her there, putting aside his robes used during official ceremonies in favor of a simple cassock. The Baroness was dressed in dark clothing, suitable to a widow. Birds chirped in the trees around them, and water gurgled from a nearby fountain. A gardener worked quietly in the background, each able to give the other the space needed.
"How is that longing within your heart, my dear daughter?"
"My longing to give myself completely to God is stronger than ever, my Lord Bishop. Yet I also know that I have already given myself as completely as possible. My lack of clarity lies in the fact that I believe God wants more from me and I don't know what that is, as you know so well."
"We agree that those religious orders which emphasize bodily penances are not appropriate for you. I believe that your spirit needs to be released and allowed to create whatever follows in that mighty wake. Punishing the body is not the way to free the spirit. I've asked you about joining orders such as these and you always reply in the affirmative because you want very much to do God's will thinking that it may, at least partially, be manifested through me. You are an intelligent and prayerful woman, and you know that God's will comes not only from your spiritual director, me in this case, but from the promptings of your own heart, your gifts, and what others say to you as well. This time I ask you something new. Do you have any interest in living a monastic life that is not totally cloistered so that you might do some work with the poor and sick as an expression of your prayer?"
The widow took in a breath. How could this be? It was everything she longed for and yet the Church made no provision for this blending of the contemplative and apostolic dimensions of the monastic life. There was no such thing as an un-cloistered nun. In her heart, however, she knew that this could come to pass. She began to sing softly, "Now, God, you can let your servant go in peace, for my eyes have seen what I have longed for."
"That canticle from the Scriptures that we say at Compline every night is most appropriate my very dear daughter. You have experienced many losses, spiritual and emotional deaths, already in your life, but I believe that you have many more deaths--and risings--to go yet. I envision a religious community that does not take public vows but rather makes vows of charity and humility to live the Gospel and monastic life in a simple and celibate way while serving others. Even your celebration of the Divine Office could be chanted more simply than some of the older monastic orders. After you prepare for this life by a period of probation, called postulancy, make a novitiate in which you reflect upon the rule of the community, are given a habit and perhaps a new name, and then make your vows, you could go out in pairs for a few hours a few days a week. Your life would still be focused on the contemplative, but the fruit of that would be spent in service for others."
The more the bishop spoke, the more the widow rejoiced. "Earlier, Lord Bishop, I said yes to the suggestions you made out of the higher part of my soul, where my will resides. Now the lower part of my soul, where my feelings reside, is also in harmony with the higher part of my soul. I suppose what I'm saying is that I am completely at peace with this novel idea. I know that this may mean joys and suffering that I have no idea of as yet, but isn't that the life of faith?"
"Yes it is, my dear one. There are people all over this world, as far away as China, living a life of faith in a variety of traditions, and I respect them all. I have been graced with an understanding of the Gospel and try to live out my life from those values, yet there are many other people, larger in number whose traditions existed long before we came along, who have struggled to live good spiritual and moral lives and continue to do so. Yes, also, this will probably mean joys and suffering for both of us, but I am more than willing to travel this road along with you."
“People will talk; perhaps they already were talking. No matter how one lives people can find fault with it, so it's far better to live by one's inner values than by what others think.”
The gardener's tools clanked in the old shed as he slammed the door shut. This visit had ended and something new had begun in the Church and in the world.