Chapter 9
The Abbot sprinkled each of us with holy water as we left the oratory after night prayer. The community entered into its grand silence until after breakfast the next day. Then simple silence would pick up and we would be able to talk for lesser reasons, for example, a need during work, or out of charity to a visitor or another monastic. During grand silence only the greatest emergency would allow us to talk. There was always an intensity about the night.
Brother Matthew made it up the steps to his room in the men's guest house and barely got his belt off and scapular up and over his head and off when he flopped on to his bed and went into a profound sleep, still in his grey tunic. Before long, the dream began again. A mysterious woman approached who was angry with him. She wanted him to talk with her, spend time with her, get to know her, like her, love her--but he would have none of this. He asked her to go away. She became indignant. They struggled. He found himself trying to kill her. She would never die--almost, but not quite. Then, filled with the horror of what he was doing, he would scream and shake violently and wake up or be awakened by Brother Benedict who certainly did not approve of this behavior, especially in a novice.