Sandra Cann
Killing For Your Love
Chapter 8
Lizzie and the kids are still missing. The police are trying to pin this on me, I can tell.
I’m staying undetected.
I’m searching for women that match Lizzie’s description by going to morgues and viewing the dead bodies. If I am able to find Lizzie, that will be the end of it. I will search for the kids if they aren’t with her and I will search for the killer…
Chapter 12
I look up to the tall and thick-set, ebony-skinned man, who says: “Are you ready?”
“Yes I am.”
We walk into a room with white walls and a window looking into the morgue. A bed sits in the middle of the room in front of our window. The bed has an uneven green sheet covering the body.
A bronze-skinned fellow appears from nowhere wearing a white lab coat and latex gloves.
The woman is blonde, 5’6. She was strangled and was then chucked into a skip, that’s all I know.
“Prepare yourself son.” The ebony man says to me.
“I’m used to this.” I reply.
The man glares at me and then looks back to the window.
The man through the window lifts off the cover to reveal a blonde woman. Her neck is dark purple with red blemishes, made by what was used to strangle her. Her skin is pale and her veins are dark purple with a tint of green. She looks as if she was a beautiful woman.
“This isn’t her.” I say as I leave the room…
Chapter 13
I look at the enormous white American style house from my car. I see her; I think it’s her, it’s Lizzie. She walks up to a house, but whose, I don’t know.
She wears a long black coat and heels with her hair straightened.
She saunters up to the door, I see her hand move against the door and then hear the one second delayed knock.
The door opens and I cannot see who answers. She stands there for a moment, nodding. I see a dark silhouette of the man who answers. He is hidden by the night. She looks behind and I see her face for a second. My mind goes blank, is that Lizzie?
She steps into the dim house where no lights are switched on. The man stares in my direction. He stands still. He stays as still as I am. I try to focus on his face. Who is this man and was that Lizzie? Is she in trouble? He continues to stare but all of a sudden, he slams the door.
I get out of my car and shut the door. I lean against the car, waiting to see if anything happens.
The house stays dark for a moment. The neighbourhood is silent. The street is silent. I feel the breeze brush past me from different directions.
I hope Lizzie isn’t in some sort of trouble.
I look to my right to see an old man. He pauses mid-stagger and looks at me. I look away, back to the house to see that a light has turned on upstairs.
I walk up to the dark house, looking around to see if there is anybody around, there isn’t.
I walk right up to the door and try the handle. The door is locked; I’ll go around the back.
“Hiya Ryan glad you could make it.” Sandra says as she opens the door with a beaming grin.
“I’m so sorry I’m late, I got distracted, very sorry, but I’m sure we’ll still be able to have a great evening.”
“We will, don’t you worry.” Sandra looks down as she steps to one side to let me in. “Drink?” She asks as she welcomes me in.
“Oh yes please, open this if you like.” I pull the bottle of wine out of my shopping bag.
“Oh thank you Ryan, you didn’t have to.”
I walk past her and I get the scent of her sweet, recently-sprayed perfume. I look into the open lay-out of the house and look back to Sandra shutting the front door.
“Right, do you want the wine you’ve brought or do you want something stronger?” she says, twiddling her thumbs.
“I think I’ll start with the wine actually.”
“Okay, well come in to the kitchen, dinner is ready, we’ve got steak tonight.”
“Nice, I love steak.” I say as we walk into the kitchen.
Sandra serves up the food and we start our meal. At first it’s silent; until I ask: “So how long have you and Simon been married?”
“Oh god, well it’s been around eighteen years now. We had Sam when we were quite young but we weren’t married, much to the dismay of my parents. I wish I could go back to those days when we were first together.”
“Oh? Why would you want to go back? You have your own house and you don’t have to work, he’s obviously a wealthy man.”
“Yes it’s all very good but,” Sandra pauses and stares at me. She downs her glass of wine. “Don’t worry about it Ryan, this isn’t your problem.”
She stands up to get another bottle of wine.
“No you can tell me Sandy. What’s wrong between you and Simon?”
Sandra returns with another bottle of wine. She pours it into her glass then places the bottle in the middle and says: “Help yourself darling.”
Sandra looks at me and smiles. Her eyes stay in the same position, her lips move, and her cheeks flush. Her eyes look watery as she looks at her glass.
She picks up her glass and knocks it back to finish the wine and pours herself another one.
“Sandra you can tell me,” I say as I hold her hand across the table. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”
“It’s nothing Si…” She looks up, her tongue clicks and she continues. “Ryan… it’s nothing, don’t worry.”
“I may be able to help. Come on, you can tell me anything.”
She hesitates for a moment.
“Okay. I’m only telling you this because I’ve had too much wine. You can’t tell Si about what I’m about to say.”
“Okay.”
“Promise?”
“Of course yeah, I promise.”
“Okay. Well perhaps I’m imagining it, but I just don’t think Simon loves me anymore.”
“What? Of course he does.”
“No, I mean physically. We haven’t had sex for months. I constantly feel like a housewife, not his lover. It feels like all I do is welcome him home from work, make him dinner and comfort him. Do you see what I mean?”
“Yeah sure I see do. Who doesn’t want to feel intimate with their partner?”
“Exactly. It’s not just the sex though. I want to feel attractive and loved again. I see him every day but we rarely kiss, we may hug or cuddle on the sofa, but it’s just not the same as it used to be.”
“I see where you’re coming from Sandy and you’re right.”
“I am? I’m not being selfish or harsh on Si am I?”
“No you’re not. Sandra you are an attractive woman, you really are and there are many men out there who would kill to have you. I mean look at me, I regret the day I woke up and Tanya was gone. I have nightmares constantly. I always imagine her and when I imagine her, she hates me. Maybe it’s because I didn’t fight to keep them. I didn’t do enough to keep Tanya in my life and that’s why I haven’t seen her or the kids in years. It’s my fault. That’s why Simon needs to make an effort with you because you may meet someone who does love you and who does want to look after you and he may give you everything you’re missing and more.” I’ve never spoken to anyone like this before, it’s most likely the alcohol, mixing whiskey and wine wasn’t the best idea.
“Ryan that is so cute.” Sandra says as she stares at me.
“You deserve better and there are plenty of men out there who would make you happy, I’m sure of it.”
Sandra looks down to her glass and takes another drink.
“Maybe. But I don’t want to hurt Si, we’ve been together so long and Sam would be so upset.”
“You need to think of yourself. Everything will work out if you were to leave him. Have you tried talking to him about this?”
“I have tried but he never likes talking about it, especially about sex.”
“Well if he won’t listen, maybe you need to just leave the house. Don’t tell him where you’re going so he knows what his life would be like without you. If you wanted to, you could live with me for a little while?”
“That could be an idea.” Sandra says as she stares at me. “Ryan, I really like you and you’ve opened my eyes to what I need and want in my life.”
“I’m glad I could help you Sandy, I really like you too.”
“Maybe it’s you I need in my life.”
I pause. Did she really just say that? What does she mean? She wants to be with me?
“What?”
“Ryan I said, I want you in my life.” Her words slur slightly. “I want you.”
I look at her, her eyes staring into mine. She bites her dark red bottom lip seductively.
“Sandy… I don’t know what to say.”
“Do you want to be with me?” She asks.
“I can’t. You’re married and we hardly know each other.”
“I know but as soon as I met you, I was attracted to you. You’re so handsome and I really want you and now we’re alone I just want you even more.”
My stomach turns inside out. I really do like her but I can’t do that to Simon and I can’t do that to Tanya and the kids.
“Sandy, sorry I just…”
Sandra gets up from her chair and walks over to me and pulls me out of my chair.
We stand face to face, staring into each other’s eyes. I need to kiss her. She looks stunning.
“We can’t do this. You’re with Simon and I’m still looking for Tanya and the kids.”
“Ryan, please.” She kisses me.
My lips respond, followed by my mind, her soft lips; her soft skin. My hands move to her waist and she comes nearer. Our bodies draw closer. She stares at me.
“We can’t. We’re both married and we are both drunk, we don’t know what we’re doing.” I say, hoping Sandra would stop… But she doesn’t.
I lie in bed with the covers off, next to Sandra. She’s asleep with her leg on the duvet whilst hugging it to cover half her naked body.
I stand up from the bed and look back down to where I had lain then I look to Sandra; her eyes open.
“Ryan,” she croaks.
“I’ve got to go, thank you for dinner.”
“What about desert?” she says as she sits up.
“It was good.” I chuckle.
I stare at her and she stares back. The alcohol however, is taking over. My balance becomes nonexistent. I need to go home.
“Don’t go Ryan, come back to bed and stay the night with me.”
“I can’t, I’ve got to go.” As I turn to leave, I stumble. I stand up straight and try to regain a sense of direction and balance.
I stagger out of the bedroom and down the spiral stairs, down into the open-plan bottom floor of the Cann’s home.
I get to the front door to notice two sets of keys hanging on the wall next to the front door. I take one of the sets of keys and check the cut of the key by inserting it into the door. It works, so I leave, shut the door and lock it behind me.
I put the keys into my pocket and begin to sway home.
My vision blurs as I look up at my house at the top of the slope. Continuing to take steady steps across the road, I follow the path from the pavement up to the house, planning the route that I shall take home.
I look around at the empty cul-de-sac. There are no lights on at any windows on the street. The street lamps are dim, barely shining down onto the pavements.
I look over to the grubby house which has no movement whatsoever. I look back towards my house and step onto the pavement. As I walk up the pavement, I sway more and more.
My feet feel as if they’ve evaporated. I collapse face-first onto my lawn. I smell the grass. My outstretched hands clench into fists, gathering up grass and mud. I try to move but I can’t. My entire body is numb. My senses disappear.
Sandra’s face enters my mind. I watch her face move and shape into Tanya’s. Her eyes look at me. Her face has no emotion, but soon changes to anger. Tanya turns away from me and walks away.
We’re in a dark room, I recognise the smell of the muskiness and I recognise the shadows that smother me and Tanya. My throat tightens; my Adam’s apple moves and vibrates as I open my mouth. With no words coming out, Tanya appears in front of me.
“Help me Ryan. You really, really need to help me, before it’s too late.”
She disintegrates and the room crumbles around me. The shadows darken, the walls collapse and each segment of wall becomes part of the shadows.
I don’t know what’s going on. What is Tanya trying to tell me? I know this is only a dream, but it feels so real.