“Even today,” Daisy explained, “although we are preparing to go to the moon, blind people are still not allowed to touch the sculptures in museums.”
“Do you really believe we will go to the moon?”
“Oh ye of little faith, of course we will! Haven’t you heard about the last Apollo mission that was launched on the 28th of May?”
“But you are still not allowed to touch the sculptures…”
“Yes, exactly! But, get this: these days I never go to a museum or a gallery without a pair of surgical gloves, you know, those thin rubber ones, so that they can’t turn down my request without looking silly.”
“Oh, I see: so you force them to let you touch the sculptures!”
“Exactly.”
Father Boudry chortled amiably. The French Catholic priest—l’Abbé Boudry—spoke good English, albeit with an accent, but sometimes he and Daisy’s friend Beatrice lapsed into his mother-tongue, and a few times that afternoon Daisy had found herself speaking French without even noticing: she mastered it better than she thought. This made her feel quite sophisticated.
On the modelling stand right in front of her there was a clay head set up on a steel armature. This was the first time she made such a big piece: a life-size portrait of her best friend, Bee, who was sitting on a high stool within reach. Daisy was working hard, struggling; she palpated her friend’s face at arm’s length and probed her features with her fingertips. Her sitter shuddered, “This always gives me gooseflesh, Daise…”
“Just don’t move… I’m trying to get a clear understanding of the transition between these two edges… here… and here. Am I smudging you with clay?”
“I don’t know; I can’t see my own face. Qu’en pensez-vous, mon Père?”
“Juste un peu,” the man answered, “but nothing to be ashamed of, surely.”
He got up from his own stool and started walking around the two women. The blind sculptress had impressive dark glasses hiding her eyes, and her sitter, indeed, had comical smudges on her face. He scrutinized them both with great interest as Daisy kept probing Beatrice, and again he chuckled contentedly.
As he paced close to her, Daisy could smell him distinctly. He not only had his signature odour, like everyone else, based on breath, after-shave, and sweat propensity, but there was something different, that she associated with soldiers and police, even with mailmen and milk delivery boys. Uniforms; dry cleaners… Father Boudry was a man of the cloth, literally, you could smell it. And if you listened carefully, you could even hear his cassock swishing along his legs as he walked around.
It was very quiet in the large hall of the abandoned brewery, where a local artists’ collective had fitted out their communal studios. Most of the members had day jobs, but Daisy, who worked part-time as a physiotherapist, was off-duty that afternoon.
“My dears,” Father Boudry said, “I am reminded of our great Rodin. He was renowned for making his sitters pose uncomfortably close to him, within reach of his hands too, but whether his models ended up with clay smears on their face… or elsewhere, that I don’t know, though with Rodin one might suppose que si.”
“Yes, but obviously I really need to touch my sitter’s features. That is why I have to be quite intimate with people if I want to do their portrait. But maybe this is a good thing, as I’m told that the result of my work is rather brutal and can be very confronting.”
“Brutal, yes. I am also reminded of Daumier. You may not know his work, but he made sculptures too; portraits… caricatures, really.”
“Well, it is not my intention to caricature people, but rather to render reality as I perceive it… Sighted people rarely stop to think about how we blind-since-birth might picture things in our minds: that is what I’m trying to show.”
“A very worthy endeavour, I’m sure.”
The priest now stopped in front of the modelling easel and eyed the work in progress and the sitter, alternatively. Daisy had let go of her friend’s face and was kneading the clay head again. Beatrice said, “I don’t like that look, mon Père.”
“What look would that be?”
“You’re laughing at my predicament; you think the joke is on me!”
She said this fondly; she’d known the priest all her life; a friend of the family… Anyway, as Father Boudry kept looking from her to the piece, and as he knitted his eyebrows satirically, Beatrice burst out into giggles, then snorted through that rather prominent nose of hers, and tried to stifle her merriment, hiding her mouth behind her hand. Very much aware of the fact that she was no beauty, she turned quite red with embarrassment.
“My dear girl, don’t blush on account of me, I’m only a priest, and I know you have a beautiful soul.”
“That’s what everybody keeps telling me, so they don’t have to mention my ugly mug!”
“What’s going on here?” Daisy asked.
“Father Boudry thinks your efforts do not do me justice!”
“Well, I haven’t finished yet.”
“That’s the right spirit, ma chère Dési,” the French priest said. Now he stared at the artist for a while: she was quite pretty, with a shock of blonde curls on her head, half-long, probably natural. You didn’t expect someone like her to have a perm, somehow. The woman reminded him vaguely of one Hollywood star or the other, although he would have been at a loss to say which one. Like most French, however, he adored ’Ollywood.
People started to arrive: other artists from the collective and their hangers-on. They needed their day jobs to keep the kettle boiling, and became painters, sculptors, etchers or photographers only after office hours. They repaired to different corners of the echoing hall: the painting studio, the photo and etching labs with their attendant dark room and printing press, and finally the sculpture studio with its clay-stained modelling stands. Fellow-artists greeted Daisy and her sitter, and were introduced to the visitor. Then, sometime later, she decided to call it a day. She covered the clay portrait with damp rags and a sheet of plastic, before she and Beatrice went to a washbasin by the wall, the former to wash her hands, the latter her face.
“Shall we go for an early dinner? There’s a new Italian place in the neighbourhood; really nice; I’m inviting you both.”
Using her cane, Daisy led the way out of the derelict brewery and into the streets of Tufnell Parc. She knew exactly where to find that new restaurant, and while they walked over in the mellow early summer evening, she explained that Italian restaurants had become all the rage in London, lately, because of hugely successful pictures like ‘Roman Holiday’, ‘La Dolce Vita’, or more recently ‘The Roman Spring of Mrs Stone’.
“Did you attend projections of those films?”
“I certainly did! Didn’t we, Bee?”
But when they entered the establishment, with its red and white checked table cloths and empty Chianti bottles set with dripping candles, the priest cheerfully pronounced all of it “completely bogus”. However, after talking with the welcoming proprietor in rapid-fire Italian, he had to admit that the man, at least, was genuine. They were the first customers of the evening, and settled down with a bottle of the establishment’s “best wine”, served by the padrone himself. Father Boudry pronounced it “adequate”.
“Obviously, as a Frenchman, you must be hard to please,” Beatrice remarked.
“Oh well, in France we always say: ‘As long as you’re in good company.’”
Daisy raised her glass and shot back: “In Britain we say, ‘As long as there’s alcohol in the plonk!’”
“Ah, my dear Dési, I’ can’t tell you how happy I am to have made your acquaintance at last, and how impressed I am. My darling Beatrice had not exaggerated her praise of you. The fearless way you go out into the world with that white cane of yours, and the assurance with which you navigate the streets!”
“Oh, but I know Tufnell Park like the back of my hand.”
“And then the way you throw yourself into your art. It is quite marvellous!”
“Though you doubt whether my efforts do poor Beatrice justice, am I right? Well, I can assure you that I love Bee’s face, no matter what other people may say. At least she has readable features, when I touch them, with clear volumes and edges.”
“Ah, but that is not the issue here… You see, as soon as you start ‘rendering’ someone’s face, then you are confronting them with their sense of self, their identity, maybe even their very soul! Therefore the process of rendering reality as you perceive it suddenly becomes… rather brutal.”
“I see, yes; I guess you’re right.”
“You know, you could learn a lot from the classics of antiquity… My advice would be: go to Rome and study them.”
“You mean the sculptures?”
“Yes, the Roman sculptures and the copies of the Greeks... There’s this program, organized every summer at the Vatican Museums by an Irish priest, Father Cadogan, a good friend of mine, where blind people get an opportunity to study archaeological artefacts by touch. Would you be interested?”
“Of course, mon Père! So they’re not only allowed to touch the sculptures, but are even encouraged to do so?”
“That’s right, and I don’t think they’re required to wear those rubber gloves you were talking about.”
“But surely this is only open for Catholics?”
“Oh, you’re not one of us then, are you? Well, it doesn’t matter, I guess… this is not a religious event.” And after a moment’s reflection he added, “They may expect you to attend Mass once in a while, if that is all right.”
“Yes, but would it be all right with Father Cadogan, too?”
“We wouldn’t tell him… just promise not to partake in the Holy Communion, is all I’m asking.”
“Nor in any other sacrament; I get it.”
So that summer, just like that, Daisy ended up in Rome for a fortnight’s holiday. That busybody Boudry had been true to his word, but now Daisy was wondering if it had been such a good idea after all, to set off on such a daunting venture on the basis of such a flimsy invitation. It had all gone so fast. She’d taken two weeks off from work, and her husband Richard, who was a pilot with BOAC, had arranged a flight over the phone from Sydney, in Australia, where he happened to be at that moment. It was the first time she went abroad without an escort: Bee would have liked to come along, but Father Cadogan had vetoed the idea, as Daisy would be part of a group. Fair enough.
The trip had been all right, she’d taken a taxi to London Airport, and Richard had made sure that a stewardess would be there to help her through customs and bring her to the aircraft. At Fiumicino, the airport of Rome, Father Cadogan had come to pick her up personally. So far so good.
Then she and the other participants had been taken to a meeting room somewhere within the depths of the Vatican Museums. The only thing Daisy knew for the moment, was that the museums were a huge maze of galleries and corridors, and that they had been taken to a part of the complex that was not even open to the public, but was used by visiting scholars and researchers.
Once they were all gathered in this room, Daisy could hear the conversations of half a dozen people around her, speaking Irish English and sounding very youthful. She expected that most of them would be blind, and as she listened more carefully, she was able to ascertain that this must indeed be the case, although there was no telling if they were totally blind or not. None of them spoke to her, as she had just joined them, a late arrival, a newcomer, and the only non-Irish member of the group. They had all travelled together from Dublin. And as they couldn’t see her, how could they even think of making an effort to include her in their conversations?
So right there an then she suddenly realized that this was going to be much more difficult than she had foreseen. For the first time since leaving school she became aware of the fact that she was no longer used to being with other blind people. At the ‘Anne Sullivan’, her old boarding school for blind girls, it had been second nature, automatic, for many years. You knew you couldn’t rely on your friends for assistance because they were just as blind as you, and you learned to rely on yourself only. But since then she’d lived exclusively among the sighted and had come to take the convenience of seeing the world through the eyes of others for granted. Wistfully she thought back to that afternoon and evening with Bee and Father Boudry: how relaxed and easy-going all three of them had been! When the priest had pronounced the Italian restaurant “completely bogus”, he had immediately proceeded to describe the décor to Daisy in order to substantiate his harsh judgement. The plastic vines hanging from the mock beams of the ceiling, complete with ripe grapes ‘made in Hong Kong’; and the gaudy fresco of Mount Vesuvius on the wall, with non-descript ruin-pillars (“Pompeii-style”) on the foreground… Daisy had raised her arm and fingered the plastic grapes; for the gaudy Vesuvius she had to take Boudry’s word. But she’d acquired a very clear picture of her surroundings. Now she had no idea where she was, and her young Irish companions would not be able to supply a better sense of the place for her.
Then Father Cadogan made his presence known, but even before he started his welcome speech, he told the room that as some of them were deaf, there was a “friendly lady” standing right next to him, Sister Maria Elizabeth, who was a very competent sign-language interpreter, and that she was signing every word he was saying, “as I speak”.
“I’m only telling you this because the true blind among you are not aware of Sister Liz’s presence, nor, perhaps, of the presence of your deaf fellow-participants… Liz, do you want to say a few words?”
“Yes, Father. Hello everybody. Obviously you are going to wonder if it is possible at all for the blind and the deaf to communicate directly… we’ll see about that later. But for the moment it seems that all your exchanges will have to pass through me, so feel free to use my services as you need them, but please be aware I can’t help everyone at once. Please don’t overwhelm me.”
These words created a slight stir, a flutter among the blind youths around Daisy. “Of course!” she thought: she’d already noticed that there were more than half a dozen people in the room, maybe twice that much. You could sense their presence by their odours, the shuffling of feet and scraping of chairs. But she’d just assumed they were ‘the silent majority’, people too shy to say much on a first meeting, just like herself. Now it turned out that they might have been chattering as freely among themselves as the blind youths… but in sign language! After all, they too had travelled together and got to know each other beforehand. And at least they could see who was there.
This was strange and disturbing: blind and deaf people together in a group. As father Cadogan continued his little welcome speech, Daisy reflected: why exactly were deaf people so disturbing? Probably it had to do with the fact that you couldn’t communicate with them at all, as Sister Liz had already pointed out. So why bring them together? And then there was the fact that you just had to wonder—you couldn’t help yourself—which was worse: being blind or being deaf? Perhaps that was only a matter of degree, but Daisy always felt that being totally blind must be a lot worse than being totally deaf. After all, they could still see their loved ones and read their faces, enjoy normal books, admire art, and the far vistas of foreign landscapes… Oh, to see Rome for just one minute!
In the end Father Cadogan asked all those present to introduce themselves one by one, and Daisy went into mind-mapping mode, concentrating fiercely. She put the name and voice of each blind participant in a mental pigeonhole in her head, together with any particulars he or she mentioned. All of them were still at school or at a Uni and were very proud of it. When her turn came she decided to be deliberately vague.
“Hi, my name is Daisy Hayes and I’m from London. I’m no longer at school, but I work part-time as a physiotherapist, and part-time as a sculptress.”
How about that for size? But when the deaf introduced themselves in the same way, you already had a problem: it was Sister Liz who translated what they said. She sounded very friendly and competent, but how would Daisy ever be able to keep all those deaf people apart?
Then came the real shocker. Father Cadogan announced that they were going to be paired up, because they would all be staying two by two at different convents near the Vatican. “Now, part of the set-up of our stay in Rome is that the blind and the deaf get to know each other better, so I will assign a partner for each of you: ladies with ladies and gentlemen together, but one deaf and one blind on each team.”
This announcement caused quite a stir, Daisy could hear, at least with the blind. And you could imagine the deaf commenting excitedly in sign language as well. But what could they do? They had to go along with it.
Daisy was assigned a girl named Morag. (“Hi, I’m Morag,” Sister Liz had interpreted, “I’m Scottish, but also a Catholic. I’m reading History of Art at the University of Dublin. So now you can imagine why I’m here.”) Then, at length, the two of them were escorted to their residence by a Roman youth, a volunteer from a local parish who didn’t speak English at all, but was quite proficient in Latin; Daisy remembered some Latin from school, not much, but it did help a bit. They followed this Giovanni into the streets outside the Vatican, up the Janiculum hill, while Daisy tried to map their route in her mind. In fact, they’d been told, it would be the deaf partner’s responsibility to guide the blind to their digs, but you could never be too careful. Starting the next day, the two were supposed to shuttle on their own between the Vatican and the ‘Congregation of the Sisters of St Plautilla’, the convent where they would share a room.
And the next day, sitting on a hard chair in another lecture room, or maybe it was the same one as the day before, Daisy decided that she would have to speak to Father Cadogan privately about her misgivings.
They were listening to a presentation by some priest whose English sounded atrocious. He was explaining that throughout antiquity, people had assumed that Homer had been blind. “Now, some writers thought up completely fanciful biographies of Homer, it was all the rage, but these had no historical validity whatsoever, except for one thing: the fake ‘lives of Homer’ reveal a lot about the daily life of blind people in ancient Rome and in the Hellenistic world, where these fanciful biographies were written, between a few centuries BC and a few centuries AD… So, thanks to the Homer myth, we know quite a lot about the daily life of the blind at the time!”
The man’s English was quite good, actually, albeit a bit long-winded; it was his Italian accent that was atrocious. And Daisy felt too tense and nervous to take an interest in what he was saying, although she realised it must be compelling enough.
While the scholarly priest droned on, Daisy reflected carefully about what she should tell Father Cadogan. For starters, she was the only adult in the group: there were a dozen teenagers and young adults in the room, and she could have been the mother of most of them. Secondly, she hadn’t realised there would be lectures and guided tours; she’d expected that she would be free to roam the museum galleries, probing the antique sculptures at her leisure. And thirdly, she wondered if she shouldn’t own up right away to the fact that she was not a Catholic. Now that she was actually inside the Vatican, she felt like an intruder. Pope John XXIII had died a year back and Paul VI had just taken over; the Second Vatican Council was still in full swing, she’d heard; all that was happening right here, at this very moment.
The Italian priest was telling them, “It will surely not come as a surprise to you that sign languages for the deaf already existed in antiquity… Saint Augustine, who was writing around 400 AD, was fascinated by how deaf people and their carers communicated by means of gestures; how they could answer questions, or even give explanations of their own without being asked. Not only could they refer to visible objects, but also to quite abstract notions. After all, the Church Father wrote, mimes in the theatre can tell quite elaborate stories by gestures alone, without using spoken words… Elsewhere he wrote about a family where the healthy parents had invented a sign language in order to communicate with their deaf children. So you see, sign languages already existed, but people were not aware of the fact that the deaf themselves created them! Because probably it were not the carers who had invented those gestures for their charges, and it must have been the deaf children themselves who had taught their hearing parents to communicate with them, not the other way round. After all, as Joseph Schuyler Long writes somewhere, ‘So long as there are two deaf people upon the face of the earth and they get together, so long will signs be in use.’”
Ah, yes, interesting. That was another thing Daisy wanted to tell Father Cadogan, the thing that bothered her most but that she would be almost too ashamed to mention: her aversion for her deaf partner. Morag was a very sweet person and all that, but deep down, for no good reason at all, it made Daisy’s skin crawl to be thrown together with her like this. She’d hardly slept a wink that night.
The scholarly priest with the Italian accent had come to the end of his ‘introduction’ about the daily life of the blind and deaf in antiquity. A short and polite applause helped him on his way to the exit, coming mainly from the blind, supposedly, although maybe the deaf knew about applause as well, and applied that knowledge. This introduction had been the last item on the day’s agenda, so it was time to go back to their lodgings.
Daisy expected that her deaf partner would be making a beeline for her now; here she was; she recognized her by her odour. But as her partner could not hear her if she spoke to her, and as she herself didn’t know the first thing about sign language, she had no choice but to turn her face towards the girl and to mouth the name “Morag” histrionically with her lips. Voicelessly, Daisy pinched an emphatic M between her pressed lips, then formed a nice round O before displaying the tip of her tongue against her palate for the r-sound, and she finally widened “-ag” into a little smile. The deaf girl responded by tapping Daisy’s forehead twice with the tip of her forefinger, meaning “yes”. Well, this was the first sign Daisy had learned from her new friend, the other being a light bump with the closed fist on her forehead, meaning “No”. Both of these improvised signals were derived from the standard Irish Sign Language, or ISL, that was being used by the deaf participants. Morag also ‘spoke’ British Sign Language (BSL), which in fact was her ‘mother-tongue’; she was bilingual, and very proud of it.
Anyway, Daisy now raised her hand, palm forward, in what she hoped was a universal sign meaning “Wait!” Then she called out, “Father Cadogan? Could I have a word with you?”
“Yes of course! Over here!”
Daisy now motioned Morag to follow her, also with a pair of signs she hoped would be self-evident, a ‘pulling along’ movement of the hand and forefinger and an emphatic nod of the head ‘that way’. They navigated between the chairs and tables to the front of the room.
“How did you like old Contini’s lecture?” the Irish priest asked.
“Interesting, but that’s one of the things I wanted to discuss with you. Can we talk in private?”
“As the others are leaving in a hurry, we’ll be alone in a moment, yes.”
“All right. Well, to start with, I’m a bit… disappointed that we don’t get to explore the collections more… on our own, you know?”
“Fair point. But I’ll ask you to be patient, Daisy dear; in due course you will have more freedom, I promise, and by that time you will also be more familiar with the lay-out of the place and the location of all the stuff.”
Then, as she could hear that they were quite alone now, except for Morag of course, Daisy explained how uncomfortable she felt to be the only adult participant; “I could be the mother of most of these kids!”
“Only if you’d had a teenage pregnancy,” Cadogan chuckled, “and nobody is accusing you of that!”
“How old do you think I am?”
“Erm… thirty to thirty-five, at most? You’re not supposed to discuss her age with a lady.”
“Well as a priest you should be able to handle that… I’m forty-one, going on forty-two, so no need for a teenage pregnancy, either.”
“Sweet Jesus! If only I’d