Amanda knew the trains would be silent, since Brownie informed her of the schedule. She slept soundly at her favorite spot by the tracks in Indian River. On the dashboard, the Jade Bear increased in brilliance and gradually filled the car with a rich jade green light while she dreamed peacefully.
Amanda walked through a garden, lush with flowers and green vegetation. Fear and pain were so remote that she did not consider them. She discovered a wooden chair, sat on it and removed her sneakers and socks to let her feet play in the grass. The sun beaming down on her blue jeans warmed her legs and she relaxed. The chair lifted into the air and moved gently toward the west. For several minutes, Amanda sat without realizing she was airborne.
When she became aware, she did not panic, rather experienced awe at the adventure. She watched the terrain pass beneath her and then the ocean and then the ground again. “This is the Swiss Alps,” she whispered and the chair descended.
Between two mountains, above the cloud level, a jade green disk appeared in the sky. The chair carried Amanda through the disk and through a short tunnel of green light beyond the entrance. The difference in terrain was astounding and she was held captivated by the brightly colored birds and other winged creatures that moved around the sky. The nearly uniform forest below told her that she was not in the Swiss Alps, even though she was a moment before. The chair descended lower and came to rest beside a gently rising hillside and she drank in the peaceful environment.
Before her, and twenty feet distant, a life-size Jade Bear stepped from a grove of trees and approached her.
She panicked. “I was just joking about being eaten! Really, Jade.”
The bear stood on its hind legs and roared once. A cloud of light green mist surrounded it and when it disappeared, in its place stood a man with a loose white tunic, faded jeans, and barefooted. A silvery sword hanging from his left hip was the only item to mare his casual appearance. Brown curly locks of hair surrounded his rugged face. His blue eyes were topped with bushy brows.
“I know you were joking, Amanda. Arise, woman, and come with me.” He held out a hand.
She stood, still spellbound and gazed at him.
He grasped her hand and moved her toward the hill and stopped before a cliff which had a smooth and shiny silver surface.
Her mouth went slack as she gazed at her reflection in the mirrored wall. Gone were her jeans and tee shirt. She wore a green silk blouse with ruffled lace sleeves and waist and gold buttons. Below that was an orchid color silk skirt that stopped above her ankles. Her headband was gone and in its place a gold tiara with heart-shaped opals visible in eight points. A white rose was tucked into her hair over her left ear.
“What is this?” she asked softly.
“This is a small pittance of what you're worth,” the man said and moved behind her. “Your beauty is breathtaking. This is the real you, waiting to be loved and growing when you are.”
“Who are you?” she asked, seeing his face above hers in the silver wall.
“I am Damash of Three. Will you join me in this place?”
“Yes,” she said with no hesitation.
He unbuttoned her blouse and dropped it to the ground. “No bruises, ever, and your skin will remain unmarked, except for blushes,” he promised.
“There will be no pain here.” He unfastened her skirt and it slipped to the ground around her ankles. He picked her up with strong arms and gently lay her on the ground.
“Wow! You're doing wonderful things to me,” she said shortly. “It's been so long I've forgotten how exciting this can be.”
He smiled and separated her knees.
Amanda's left knee smacked the door and her right the gearshift.
“What?” she gasped and jerked upright in the seat. The Jade Bear glowed brightly but swiftly returned to normal. She stared at it while she raised her hands to her breasts. “Wow. That dream was vivid! I could feel the hands there. What are you, Jade? My uncle said you were magic, but what kind? I hope you aren't the evil voodoo kind of magic. But if you can make that dream happen, go for it. Do it now.”
She shivered and checked the time. “Two o'clock? It's going to be difficult sleeping now. I’m too excited and turned on. Wow.”
It was nearly three o’clock when Amanda knocked on Brownie’s door. It opened and he stood blinking at her in his tee shirt and pajama bottoms. “Can I come in?” she finally asked.
“Sure,” he replied and moved away from the door. “Sorry. I’m still half asleep.”
She followed him to the living room where he flopped down on the sofa.
“What brings you here at this hour of the morning?” He looked at his watch for the first time.
“You work today?”
He shook his head. “This is an off day, as well as tomorrow. We dead-head to Enola tomorrow night.”
“Good. Excellent timing.” She removed her jacket and draped it over an arm. “I need someone to talk to right now.”
“At three in the morning?”
“You’re the one who told me the door was open. Anytime. You’re the one concerned about me drinking.”
He yawned and shook his head. “Right on. What’s on your mind?”
She sighed and kicked off her shoes as she tossed the jacket on a chair. “A lot and a little. This is difficult, but I don’t want to end it in a bar, or in Indian River, so drunk that I don’t know who I am.” By the time she finished, her socks lay on the shoes. “I want to be loved, my friend. I want you to make love with me.”
The simple request had him fully awake and alert. “Hey, I can’t do that, not with you.”
“If not you, then who?” She sighed deeply, leaned back into the sofa beside him and stretched out her legs and arms. “There’s no one else on the face of the earth I’d trust to do that. Except you.”
“Look, I like you as a friend, but I don’t want to complicate our lives with a romantic relationship.”
“I don’t want a romantic relationship. I want to be loved, tonight. It won’t ruin the friendship we have.”
“I fear it will.”
“Do you have any wine?”
“I don’t want to do this.”
“Do you have any wine?”
“Look, I like you too much already. If I enjoy your body, just once, I might not want to stop. I need to keep you as a friend, unless you plan on moving in and letting me share your life, like forever.”
“Do you have any wine?”
“Are you listening to me?”
She slapped her legs and stood from the sofa. “I hear you, and I feel very strange. I’m listening, but you’re not. Do you, have you, ever had a girlfriend? Never mind.”
He waited for her to continue while studying her figure from behind.
She hooked her thumbs in her jean pockets and faced the wall, where there were pictures of Brownie and his parents and relatives.
“After the accident, I still loved Joseph. I just couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t show him. He was my husband and I knew he was getting frustrated with me. Who wouldn’t get frustrated with a blob that lay on the bed and demanded so much attention? He wanted to have sex, but he wanted a participating partner. He wanted my touches, my kisses, my nibbling his neck. I couldn’t do that. I really didn’t mind if he had sex with me. But I couldn’t tell him.
“He finally broke down and did that. He apologized and he did it. It was okay with me. I was his wife and there to take care of his need. No problem. I couldn’t feel anything anyway. And I couldn’t tell him it was okay.
“It’s frustrating, knowing things and not being able to communicate them. I might want to say, ‘The barking dogs kept me up all night.’ What would come out is, ‘The parking cars rolled in the green grass.’ That was wrong and I knew it but I couldn’t help it. “So, the sex satisfied him for a while, until he worried that I might get pregnant. He asked the visiting nurse if I could and she said yes. He started using condoms, but then he arranged for the nurse to inject me with a long lasting birth control drug. Trouble is, that caused me a lot of pain, and there was no way to communicate it. There was only one or two tests to make sure I was ‘safe’ and that’s all. They had no concern about the rest of my body, just the vaginal part.
“Then non-participating sex started to bore him, but he let some of his friend have at me. I was still beautiful and sexually attractive to them, so why not? I wouldn’t, couldn’t complain about it. But I knew. I knew.”
She hung her head and wiped the tears from her face. “When he started the injections, that’s when I started hating him. I felt nothing would ever bring that emotion to light in our marriage, but that did it. But what could I do? I just lay there, this little flesh and blood, inflatable doll, being the sexual whim of Joseph and his friends. Why he did it, I’ll never know. I’m not going to ask. “I haven’t felt horny, excited, entertained sexual fantasies, or anything since the accident. I couldn’t play with myself, even if I wanted to. But I feel that way tonight. I had a dream of the Jade Bear and he was a man and he was making love to me. Not screwing me. Making the most delicious love to me, talking about my babies and kissing me until I was delirious.”
She wiped the tears away again and turned to face him. “So, do you have any wine? I don’t want to drink this feeling away. I want to share it with the best friend I’ve got in the world. Please? It won’t ruin the feelings we have for each other.”
He stood and opened his arms and she filled them swiftly. “Say no more, love. No more arguments.”
Joyce nursed Joseph as he told her what happened. “You think she rigged the bike?”
“Yes. She knew what I'd do and she had it planned. She probably watched from somewhere and peed herself laughing when I hit the ground. In the note at Susan's house, she wondered if I would have my balls after I fell. I wondered when I hit the ground. That hurt a lot.”
She agreed and kissed the back of his neck. “Well, I've got all of them, sweetheart. What are you going to do now?”
“Stay here for the night. Tomorrow, I'll take the bike to my mechanic and let him start fixing it. Then, if you have no objections, drive me to get the car.” He finished and fell silent.
“What?”
“I think I should never have abused her. I think I'm nervous also. I think I’d apologize if she would let me, but I'm not certain it would do any good.”
“Have you thought of going to the police?” she asked and massaged his shoulders.
“No. If I do that, I'll probably lose. She told me as much this morning. She said I have to accept her punishment or theirs.” He thought of what Susan told him. “This is screwed up.”
“It's screwed up, but not insurmountable. Where did she come from, anyway?”
“Topeka, Kansas is where she was born. She said her red hair comes from the brilliant Kansas sunsets.”
She considered that a moment. “That's wrong. She wasn't born in Kansas. I remember when you showed me the bank statements that her social security number begins with a two. That puts her birthplace on the east coast. If she was a three or a four, maybe, but not two.”
“You're kidding?”
“No. We deal with socials a lot in the insurance office and that's how it works.”
“Can you check it out? Now you have me curious also?”
“Certainly. Bring it to me and I'll check it and narrow it down to a state for you.”
“Maybe she wasn't born. Maybe she was hatched for the solitary purpose of torturing me.”
She laughed again. “That's entirely possible.”
The next morning Joseph awoke stiff and sore. He moved slowly and gingerly until he was situated in Joyce's car and he gave her directions for Blackbird and then his car.
Joyce sat in her car and watched him kick rocks and curse as he inspected his car. On both sides, the hood and the trunk the words, “WIFE BEATER” were painted in bright silver.
“And you're only nervous? It's only a matter of time before that changes to fear, I think. You're tough, but she's got you beat by a long shot, honey. I feel sorry for you, but I'm not going to get in the middle.”
She smiled weakly and shrugged as he walked back to the car and got inside.
“Let's go to the hardware store in Smyrna and get a can, no, a case of black spray paint. This is ridiculous.”
She turned her car around and headed back along the tracks.
“This is where I went airborne,” he commented and sighed. “I'm a little scared and sober now. What am I going to do? She's too devious for me.”
“Cooperate with her. She said she won't kill you and I believe her. Just hold yourself together until it's over. Then we'll heal together. This is starting to hurt me also.”
At the probation office, Howard was in conference with two men in suits all morning. Joseph wanted to talk to him but situations and work prevented it. He took several drinks, to calm himself, but stopped before he went too far. Right before lunch, he received a call from a neighbor.
“What did you say, Missus Johnson? I don't have animals. I don't even have a frigging dog. Have you been drinking?”
“The hell you don't. You've got a damned zoo in your backyard and I work shifts, as if you don't know that. If you don't keep them quiet, we'll go to court, before or after I shoot their noisy asses and yours.” She slammed the phone down.
“Crazy bitch. Must be on drugs. Too bad I can't do a urinalysis on her.”
He saw two clients and Judy called him. “Mister Matkins, there are two police officers in the lobby to see you. Shall I send them back?”
Joseph sighed and rubbed his eyes. He told her to send them back and popped another breath freshener.
The officers entered the room and Joseph stood to greet them.
“You're Joseph Matkins?” one asked.
“That's right. What's wrong?”
“What's wrong is the zoo in your back yard,” said the same officer.
“It's against city codes to have cows, horses, goats, sheep and chickens inside city limits. We've had ten complaints from that area this morning. Personally, I don't know how you've kept them quiet so long, but they have to go now.” He lay five tickets on the desk. “Sign these please and get the animals off your property before sundown. If we get complaints tomorrow, we'll be back to arrest you.”
Howard stuck his head into the office. “Problems, Joseph?”
“Amanda.” He signed the last ticket. “I'll have the animals removed before sundown. You can count on that. I'm sorry for the problems.”
They bid him good day and left.
Howard remained and chose to add a dig. “You look haggard, Joseph. Are you sleeping well?”
“As well as I can.” He stretched and rubbed the back of his neck. “However, Amanda's getting on my nerves.”
“Well, you could maybe talk to her and cancel the divorce.”
“No! It's over and that's it! She couldn't pay me to go back with her.”
Howard smiled on the comment and turned to the door. “Well, at least you don't have the problems of some employees here. You should be very glad of that. Hang tough. You'll survive.”
Joseph turned in his chair and watched the two suited men get into a car in the parking lot. He jotted down the license number on a pad and went to the DELJIS room. He ran a license check and found the registration to James Dalton, with a Seaford address. He called his friend, Donald in the Wilmington Probation Office.
“Do you know a man named James Dalton? Does he work in the system?”
“James Dalton? From Seaford?”
“The same. Do you know him?”
“Yes. He's an FBI agent. Why?”
“Oh, shit!”
Joseph disconnected, locked his file cabinet, went to the parking lot and got into his car. He looked around and took a flask from under his seat. He checked again, took a quick drink and replaced it.
“If you don't be careful, your days are numbered,” he said and drove away.
From Joseph's office, Howard watched him until he was out of sight. “At times like this, I'm sorry to be your friend, Joseph. I truly am.” He lowered the blinds and called for a locksmith to open the file cabinet.
Joseph stood by the gate and stared at the animals in his back yard. “How did you manage that? You're good, Amanda, and I'm sorry that I crossed you. I should have divorced you long ago, like after the accident. Just left you to a nursing home for care.”
He went inside and listened to the messages on his answering machine.
“Hey, man, this is Brian. We got something. Your woman hangs out along the train tracks north of Blackbird. She also has a man with her at times. She loses us easily. She's good at that, but we found her there twice.”
“No shit, Sherlock. What a moron.”
Two hang ups.
“Hello, Joseph. This is Amanda. That's a quaint petting zoo, but I think it's illegal. Move them out before you get arrested. This call is to update you. You've been assigned to a probation officer and it’s, Amanda Matkins. You'll receive a letter soon telling you where to report for your intake interview. Make sure you wear a jock strap that day. You could do some heavy lifting, like your ass from the ground. Ta-ta, darling.”
Two more hangs ups.
He sighed but did not curse her as before. He mixed a drink and sat in his recliner for a moment of relaxation, and let his mind go back to a time before Amanda was knocked into another dimension by the Corvette.
He reviewed their marriage and their honeymoon. “Man, how screwed up can you be?”
The phone interrupted him.
“Hello, Joseph. I was right. Her social security number is from the Appalachian region of West Virginia, or at least that vicinity. She wasn't born in Kansas,” Joyce reported.
“Great. Now what do we do with that information? Will a tabloid pay for it?”
“Funny. Why did she lie to you? Think, man.”
“Maybe she had something to hide?”
“Very good. One in a row, sweetheart. If she lied about that, what else did she lie about? You have some more weight for the divorce lawyer. I said I wasn't going to get involved, but I can do this and stay on the outside. I'm going to check her out tomorrow and see who she really is.”
“Good, lover. I'd like to help you, but I have to go milk the cows.”
“Cows? Where the hell do you find cows in a city?”
“It's a long story. I'll tell you about it on our next field trip. Go ahead and check her out. I'll be busy here for a while. Love you, sweetheart.”