Amanda opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was the jade bear, sitting solidly on her night stand. Silver teeth in the bear's open ferocious looking mouth glinted from a stray sunbeam. The bear remained stationary, while the rest of the room spun and danced.
She groaned and closed her eyes. “Why are you still here?” she asked. “Why don’t you help, like Uncle Randolph said you would.”
She reached and attempted to grasp the bear, but missed and moved too close to the edge of the bed. The fall brought another groan and another respite of unconsciousness.
The next thing Amanda heard was the distant wail of a siren and the responding howl of a dog nearby. She opened her eyes again and stared at the carpet and a cardboard box under her bed.
“Why are you on the floor?” she asked, and comprehension returned with a rude jolt.
“Joseph!” She forced herself to her knees and winced from the pain in her arms and legs when she moved. Once more saw the jade bear which glowed softly. She looked at the empty bed and for a brief moment enjoyed the darkness.
“Why are you still here?” she asked the jade bear. She sighed heavily. “Once Uncle Randolph told me you were magic, but all the fortune you've brought me has been bad. Maybe you're bad magic.”
For a moment, she contemplated what to do. “We've got to get away while we can.” She shivered, ran a hand under her mattress and pulled out a gun. She stood, picked up the jade bear and dropped both into her purse. At the door, she paused and listened to the sounds of her house.
Nothing stirred and for that she was grateful.
“We must do this, but it has to be done smartly,” she chided herself. She opened a dresser drawer, tossed some clothes onto the bed, a box of shells and a ragged envelope stuffed with money. She packed them into a small suitcase, checked her credit cards and left the bedroom quickly. Between the bedroom and the car, she paused only once for the bathroom.
The four diesel engines of a train rolled over Chicken House Crossing, rumbled past the switch point and stopped to let the conductor turn the rail switch. He waited until the train load of coal backed into the Indian River electric plant. The roar of the engines disrupted the tranquility of the nighttime atmosphere and shook the ground as it moved.
“There's a woman in that car,” the engineer announced on the intercom. “She must be lonely. Check her out when you pass, Brownie.”
“What's a woman doing here in this desolate place?” Brownie asked from the caboose, 110 cars away.
“Waiting for you. I can't see much but I'm sure you'll like her.”
“Brownie likes anything female,” chirped in the brakeman.
Amanda lay sleeping in her car beside the tracks and her body vibrated with the throbbing of the engines as they passed. She barely opened her eyes, woozy from drinking and nearing the point of not caring. The coal cars clicked as they crossed the switching rails and some of the steel wheels squealed as they grated against the steel rails. An indeterminate time later the engines throbbed by her and quiet returned. She heard the conductor pass her car, and caught the swift flash of his lantern as he inspected her.
A few minutes later, Amanda left her car and relieved herself behind the sage brush around the area. She leaned against the front fender for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet and the fresh night air.
“This is graduation night, and this is one hell of a party. At least I got a diploma, and the principal signed it, with his fists and feet, all over my body.” She sighed and looked at the stars as she struggled against the tears. “Well, I've graduated and I'll not subject myself to any more of those lessons. My name's not Bitch, Whore, or Slut. My name's Amanda and I'll find someone who loves me, even if it kills me.”
A noise alerted her and she moved to the tracks and looked north.
She saw a bobbing set of headlights headed south and she returned to her car. She got inside and locked the door again. She gazed at the jade bear on the dashboard.
“How I wish you were real. If you were, those sharp teeth and claws could tear me up. I'd be a good meal for you. I'd suffer the pain for you, darling Jade. I truly would. It would be a good experience for both of us. Afterwards, there'd be no more pain.”
She lay back in her seat, closed her eyes, and ignored the green van as it drove passed her to gather the crew. She drifted to sleep and the bear on the dashboard blinked and twisted its head to gaze at her.
“What's the deal, honey?” Joyce asked, opening her eyes to watch him dress.
The bed sheets were tangled and disheveled and her left leg and much of her upper body lay on top and exposed to the air.
“The deal is, I've got to work. I'm still at the age where that's necessary, and the probation office is waiting for me.”
“That's not what I meant and you know it. I want to know what's going to happen between us. The events are leading to truth or dare time, and I won't let it be avoided forever. Can I make that any clearer?”
Joseph gently grasped one breast as he kissed her. “I don't plan avoiding it forever. The difference between you and Amanda is like night and day.”
“So, divorce is eminent?” she pleaded, hoping against hope for a pleasing answer.
“Yes. We discussed that yesterday. She's upset, but it's only a matter of time for the lawyers to handle it. Now, don't worry your pretty little head about it, lover. I've made my choice and it's you.”
Joyce smiled and stretched. “That's a good wake-up message. I love you, Joseph. And life is good, but it'll be better when you're free.”
“Rock on! I'll call you tomorrow.” He kissed her again before he left, declaring his inability to live without kissing her beautiful scrumptious lips daily.
Joseph did not go home but went to the probation office early and entered through the back doors. He greeted Howard Nelson, his supervisor, and went to his office. Habit took over as he closed the door, unlocked his file cabinet, and took a swift drink from a bottle of gin he kept hidden there. Sitting at his desk, he popped a breath freshener in his mouth and picked up the phone to call Amanda. He frowned at no answer and hung up.
“What are you up to, Amanda? Do your drugs have you spaced out again?”
He removed his calculator from his center drawer. For the next twenty minutes he studied his finances, calculated how much a divorce would cost him several ways and found the results not reassuring.
“That sucks.” He threw his pencil down on the desk. “I guess this is one of those cases where you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.” He sat back in his chair and let his mind replay the escapade with Joyce the night before. “That’s all right. I’ll take Joyce’s love over the rock.”
A knock on the door interrupted him.
“What's up, Joseph?” Howard asked. “You've been coming in early lately.”
“Oh, just a few problems here and there. Nothing major.” He hurriedly tidied up the papers on his desk.
“Money problems?” Howard asked regarding the papers and calculator.
“Not yet. However, things might change when the divorce gets underway.”
“You're divorcing Amanda? For real? I didn't know there was a problem with you two.”
“It's nothing I announce to everyone. However, life with her is becoming unbearable. It'd be cheaper to stay, but I'd rather be poor and happy.”
“Is she still an invalid?”
“Yes. I'm putting her in the care of a nursing home. I can't take it anymore.”
Howard observed him thoughtfully. Joseph was one of the top probation officers in his department. He was tough with his clients but very thorough. He did not yield to the pressure that the clients could and often did apply. He was stable and had none of the problems that besieged the newer officers.
Joseph continued his prattle. “Besides that, I don't want it to interfere with the job here. That wouldn't be good for me.”
“Or me for that matter. At least you appear to be handling it well. Anyway, if you need to talk about it, I'm always available. Do you think Amanda will be vicious about it?”
“I doubt it. She’s lost in her world of drugs anyway. She took the news rather well yesterday. Like I said, I just can't deal with it. So, am I on your schedule for today?”
The news still shocked Howard and had his brain working wildly, trying to make sense of it and failing.
Joseph took no response as a sign to continue. “This morning I have four clients coming for visits. This afternoon, I need to visit a lawyer and handle some personal matters. Tomorrow it's court time for the naughty ones who violated their probation.”
He picked up two folders from a basket on his desk and handed them to Howard. “These need to go to the clerks for having Violation of Probation Reports typed. Carper hasn't shown for three appointments and Johnson for four. They're not at home when I visit. It's time to hammer them a little. Get their attention.”
Howard shook off the disparity and spoke. “Very well, Joe. I'll deliver them for you. Take the time off and we'll work around the rest that's sure to follow. Keep your chin up. I'm sorry about Amanda.”
“You're a prick,” Brian said dejectedly.
“I beg your pardon? What did you say?”
“Nothing. Nothing makes no sense to you. It would if you were here and I was behind your desk. So, I didn't say nothing'.”
“Smart choice, punk dude. If you learn to keep your mouth shut sometimes, maybe you could stay out of trouble. However, you must pay the fines, and if you miss any more this month, I'll let the judge remind you of your responsibilities.”
“I'm sure you will.” He stood and moved to the door. “You're still a prick,” he muttered under his breath.
Joseph escorted him down the hall and unlocked the security door to let him into the lobby. “See you in two weeks.” He clapped his back lightly like a long term friend. “Have a nice day.”
Joseph returned to his office and called Amanda again. Once more he disliked the ringing and hung up. He took a quick drink and locked the cabinet. He popped a breath freshener into his mouth and hummed a song as he exited through the back door. Outside he watched Brian get into a car with another man behind the wheel and the car sped away with a shower of rocks.
“Just a matter of time, Brian, and you'll be back in jail. You're just too mouthy and dense to stay out of trouble. You and Amanda should get together; you both deserve each other.”
He went to the bank and waited in line for a teller to make a withdrawal. Soon he cursed and slapped the counter. “How the hell did that happen?”
“The account is joint, sir, and she has access. If you wish to discuss it, see one of the customer service representatives. I can't help you.”
Joseph walked across the lobby to sit bitterly in a chair outside the low wall. He soon moved inside and talked with a clerk.
The woman left him and returned with a folder shortly. “The account was joint Mister Matkins. Amanda withdrew the nine thousand this morning, shortly after we opened. I remember it now. She was sent to me, and it took an hour to do. We had to get approval from the regional office to open the vault and use reserve funds. She wanted the sum in cash versus a check.” She lay the folder on the desk for him to see.
Joseph looked at the left-handed signature on the card and scowled. “Did she get the bonds and CDs from the safe-deposit box also?”
The representative nodded her head.
“Shit!” He shouted and slammed her desk with a fist. Immediately he apologized and sighed as he leaned back in the chair. “Never mind. It's not your fault. I should've thought of that sooner. Sorry. I'll leave now.”
He grew more irritated as he drove home. “No use talking to a lawyer for the moment. I guess I'll have to wait until payday. Damn you, Amanda. How'd you manage that anyway? You can't even piss without being helped. You have to crawl to get anywhere.”
Inside the house he went straight to the bedroom, intent on venting his rising anger. The empty bed and several open drawers told him she was gone. He checked the bottom drawer for the emergency cash and slammed the drawer closed. “Well, I guess I underestimated you, but what the fuck happened? Last time I saw you, you couldn’t even speak your name. You just slobbered.”
He went immediately to the closet and opened his side. He felt on the top shelf and located his private stash of money. He smiled and put it back. “Guess this'll do for a retainer and we'll work out the rest. I'm glad you don't know about this one.”
After he checked for her handgun and shells, he noticed the jade bear was gone also and sat on the bed. “This isn't going well. It never crossed my mind that she would, or could do this. Maybe I was a little harsh in requesting a divorce. However, who helped you? You’ve got no friends. Where are you?”
He thought of Joyce and winced. “How're you going to take this? This could be a large setback. I guess we'll see how strong and true your love is, soon.”
Then he considered Amanda. “This is a fine mess, and before the accident, I trained you how to use handguns, for your defense. You'd be a bear to cross, if you're cognizant. I guess I lied to Howard.” He gazed at the black circle on the night stand where the bear formerly sat.
“Why'd you take the worthless bear, Amanda? Do you use it for sex when I'm not around? What're you thinking? You're probably thinking of how to screw me without kissing me. I still don’t know how you did it. Damn it all. This isn't going well.”
Amanda gleefully left the bank and stopped at a pharmacy to purchase a box of envelopes. She drove to a remote railroad crossing north of Blackbird, Delaware and parked her car in the forest, out of sight of the tracks. She counted the money and divided one thousand of it into ten envelopes. She spent some time stashing them around the car, under the mats, the seats and the trunk. The rest she counted and replaced it in her backpack, along with the stocks, bonds and CDs to deposit in another bank, under her own name.
She estimated Joseph's reaction and smiled. “Thanks. You're such a dear to let me have the money as part of the divorce settlement. I wonder when this is finished, what you'll think of this brain-damaged southpaw with a learning disability, who slobbers and drools. I'm going to break it off in you. Jade and I will deal you one little death blow at a time, and we'll see who squeals like a pig. I'm done squealing. It's your turn.”
She watched a freight train pass and tried to count the cars. She gave up the futile attempt and when the last car disappeared, she left the forest and drove to New Castle and found a bank to hold her money. With that accomplished, she gassed her car and made a phone call.
“Hello, Jan. This is Amanda. How are you these days? I haven't seen you in far too long. Could I stop by for a visit?”
“Of course you can, Amanda. That's a rather silly question to ask. It's absolutely great to hear your voice. Are you okay? You sound so different. Who’s bringing you? The dirt bag?”
“That's debatable at the moment. I've been judged sexually incompetent and a worthless piece of white trash. I don't feel that way. I hurt a lot, physically and mentally, and I need someone to dump on. May I? I’m bringing myself.”
“Bringing yourself? Seriously? Well, come on. Please come on. I'm here and you're in need. Come quickly, girlfriend.”
Jan opened the door and stood agape mouthed at the bruises and cuts on Amanda's face. “Damn, Amanda. Did Joseph do that to you?”
She grasped an arm and led her inside.
“Yes, along with a lot of verbal abuse and a request for a divorce so he could marry a real woman.”
“This is a shock.” Jan sat close to her on the sofa. “Open your heart, and unload all you got.” She hugged Amanda and listened to the tearful account.