CHAPTER 17
‘Have you got a moment?’
I was in bed. There was no sun, only limp greyness. The sort of light which doesn’t come from any direction but hangs damply in the air, casting no shadows. The sort of light where you almost feel you could open your window and step out onto it, it is so dense and heavy. It must have been morning – the sound of traders calling from the street below insisted upon it. But that light could just as easily belong to afternoon, or dusk.
I had been awake for hours, ever since the darkness had first lifted to charcoal, then to graphite, drawn with a heavy hand. It had brightened to the colour of a dirty puddle, and had remained that way for oh – heaven only knew how long. But so long as the light was timeless, it could be reasonably supposed that time was standing still and I would never have to get out of bed. I would never have to see anybody or talk to anybody or meet the Duke of Wellington – not that I would, most likely – and most importantly of all, I would neither have to flirt my way past security, nor see the debacle of our play being performed. Nothing would ever happen. I would remain, propped up against the headboard in my nightgown, motionless and without thought, until I crumbled to dust. And that would be marvellous. And perhaps it would have been so, if not for Annie.
She stuck her head around the door and I was surprised to see that she too was still in her nightgown. Her red hair hung in a light braid over one shoulder, tied with a scrap of ribbon which was almost falling out. It wasn’t remotely cold, but at my nod, she padded swiftly across the bare boards of the floor and climbed beneath the blankets beside me.
‘I can’t remember the last time we did this,’ she said as she snuggled in next to me, burning me with her cold feet. I lay my head on her shoulder and she put her arm around me.
‘I miss it,’ I said. ‘Sometimes I miss us sharing a bed. It was nice having somebody there all the time.’
‘I miss you. I haven’t seen you for days – weeks, probably. We haven’t even spoken properly since we went fabric shopping.’
‘How long ago that seems.’
‘A lifetime. As though we were different people. And we were, weren’t we?’
I put my arm across her stomach and held her, just like we used to do in winter when we were children. She always looked after me, not because she was older, but because she was so much taller. Then she blossomed, and I started to look after her, until she began running after boys, and I let her run away. But as we held one another in silence, the years seemed to slip away. But it wasn’t the same. It would never be the same.
‘I don’t like it here anymore, Evey,’ Annie whispered.
I squeezed her more tightly. ‘Me neither.’
‘I thought I’d be here forever – with Parker, you know. And I love him, I really do, but I just-‘ she broke off suddenly and I waited, in silence, for her to continue.
‘It’s Jackson,’ she said eventually. ‘Mostly.’
‘What’s he done now?’
‘Oh, nothing new.’ Annie sounded wistful. ‘I knew he was stupid, I always have known, but he has such a good nature, I never thought I’d grow to dislike him so much.’
‘But why now?’ I asked. ‘Why not when we were doing Hamlet, or when he was a terrible Prospero. In fact, I don’t recall you shunning him as much as I’d have liked when he almost burned my stage down.’
I felt Annie sigh against me.
‘I can’t be angry with him when he’s just being foolish. He always means well. It’s just, now – recently. There are so many girls, and I didn’t care so much before because I had men, and I was waiting for somebody rich. Do you remember, Evey? I was going to marry a rich man and you were going to marry a playwright, and mine would be patron for yours and we’d be beautifully happy?’
‘And my playwright and I would live in a cottage in your grounds and we would visit one another every day to take tea from your beautiful porcelain, painted with daisies?’
Annie giggled, then sighed again.
‘It won’t happen. Not on my part anyway. I’ve started to care too much for Jackie.’
‘Do you love him?’
‘No. I don’t think so. Not quite. So it’s the right time. I want to leave after the performance tonight.’
‘You’re sure?’ I tried not to make any sudden movements or say anything that would reveal my own plans.
‘He’s changed. He seems crueller now, to those girls. He just doesn’t care. And he disappears for days at a time, with his drinking. And have you noticed, when he’s sitting and he isn’t saying anything, he used to look so pleasant. As though there was not a single bad thought in his mind. Now he just always looks cross.’
I couldn’t say I had paid much attention to Jackie in repose.
‘But that isn’t all,’ Annie went on. ‘If he left, and I wanted him to for a while, then here hasn’t become somewhere I’d want to stay any way.’
‘No?’ I prompted gently.
‘I hate to say it but – your mother – and the tantrums and the alcohol, and Andrew picking on things when he needn’t, and me, turning into Liberty as I get older and start to lose my looks.’
‘You’ve a while yet, surely darling? You’re-‘ I was going to say that I had always seen her as Liberty’s natural successor, both in looks and talent, but it didn’t matter anymore what I thought. I wasn’t going to cast anybody in anything.
‘I’m tired of the same things happening again and again. We find a play, we argue over the casting, we rehearse, we argue over costumes and lines, we perform, we get drunk, we sleep with the visitors to the dressing room, we cry over reviews. I peel off layers of paint and the show runs and then we start again. And we get older, but nothing else changes. I won’t lead while your mother is here, and I’m not sure I want to. I want children. I want a family. I want a husband and three children and five dogs.’
I felt a tear drop from her chin onto my cheek and I held her closely.
‘What will you do?’
I wanted to say we should leave together, but the words seemed stuck in the back of my throat.
‘I’ve been saving the money Parker gives me every month. And there are my trinkets and jewellery that I can sell. But I don’t know, really. There was an advert for a governess at the Fitzroy house, but I don’t think I could bear it. And my handwriting is terrible.’
I couldn’t argue with that. Annie’s scrawl was only legible if she reduced her writing speed to one word per minute – and sometimes not even then.
It would be an option for me though, although I didn’t like the idea of being so subservient. I was used to telling people what to do – but outside of the security of the troupe, my options were very limited.
‘What options are there, then? For an attractive young woman who can act, and can’t be a governess?’
I felt Annie shake her head.
‘I could join another troupe, but I want to get away from all that backstabbing and rivalry.’ She sighed. ‘Truth be told I’ve had it easy here. Relatively speaking. Of course, it helps that Parker’s related.’
‘So what then? Not-‘
‘Oh no, I won’t leave without a plan. Although being a professional mistress is an option. I’d be good at it, I suppose. It’s merely a matter of being introduced to the right people. And who knows who will be there tonight who might take a shine to me.’
‘You can’t base your future happiness on the hope that someone you haven’t yet met will take a shine to you.’
‘Why not? Hundreds of debutantes do it every year. They’re selling themselves too, but if you aren’t being exhibited at Almacks then it’s suddenly inappropriate and disrespectful. I’d be a businesswoman.’
‘Not all men are gentlemen. Not even – and perhaps particularly not – rich ones. Still, as you say, it’s not much different to what you’ve been doing these past few years.’
I thought back to Mother’s affair with Brendan. She couldn’t love him. There was no reason she could have done it other than to further her own career. Or perhaps Father’s.
‘It seems more honest, actually,’ I continued, ‘to have it as a business. Then everybody knows where they stand. No lies or trickery – I like the idea of that.’
‘We’ll see, then. After tonight. The world could change tonight. And if I don’t leave tomorrow – well, then I’ll be looking for the first good chance I get.’
And it would be the same with me, I silently vowed as Annie made her apologies for deserting me. Although I wasn’t sure what my future career would be.
There were men everywhere. All bustling like paint-splattered ants, overseen by one, impressively bearded ant, who was shadowed nervously by a red, squashy one.
Parker was in a state. Not a state where he enjoyed the confusion, but a state where he appeared to be bordering on some form of mental breakdown. Poor Parker. There wasn’t much to do in the grand scheme of things, but with men and dust sheets everywhere and a thousand and one miniscule jobs to do before perfection could be achieved, “ready” seemed a long way away, up a steep hill and on the other side of a fast-flowing river.
My stage was ready. Andrew had spent the week I had been shunning all company in the admirable pursuit of perfection. The boards which had been damaged by fire had been sanded and repainted, or replaced, as needed. The backdrops hung with nary a wobble and he had even dragged Jackie in to help him clean the floor in the stalls. With the fine new seats which Parker had sent away to be reupholstered with a dark green velvet, it looked fit for the Prince, never mind the Duke.
Thus freed from some areas of worry, I felt content to spend an hour or so in the morning shadowing Parker, under the guise of helping him. I think I managed to calm him down a little, but that was merely a by-product of my main aim, which was to learn the plans for getting the painting into the building. This was something Parker was particularly pleased with, being as how the secrecy and importance in such a matter raised his own esteem considerably, and he rattled on at length and in great detail, much to my delight and the disinterest of the workmen in whose way we were.
It was to arrive at six, just as Michael had said.
Two of the Duke’s staff carried it in, although it wasn’t so large. Smaller than my arm span, anyway. They were flanked by four men from the army – I couldn’t recognise the rank if I tried, I’ve always been hopeless at that sort of thing. Neither Jackie nor Andrew were in the vicinity, so I couldn’t ask. I assumed they were officers, although I daresay it isn’t important. They were wearing swords, but I supposed that most people in the army did so. They took the painting into the hall where we usually sold drinks and food to patrons, which had sometimes served as a gallery for Father’s work too. I followed the group in as Parker went ahead to direct them and oversee the precise placement. He had a very good eye for seeing if something was straight.
The hall looked almost entirely different from usual. There were no more stains on the floor, from the dregs of drinks which had slopped from our enthusiastic patrons’ glasses. Nor was there the smell of pies clinging to every surface. The floor had been varnished anew, and the walls painted in two shades of green; lighter for the main part and with moulding the same deep, vine green as the newly covered stalls.
The men marched forward, and the sheet which covered the canvas rippled slightly but not enough so as I could see anything beneath it. Parker directed them to a clear space in the wall – most of the paintings had already been hung, and there were only two spaces remaining now. My father’s, and this one.
‘Thank you,’ one of the officers said firmly as Parker gestured to the wall. ‘We’ll let you know when we need you.’
‘I’m sorry?’ Parker blustered.
‘I’m going to have to ask you to leave,’ the officer said.
‘I’m not sure I understand,’ Parker said. ‘This is my gallery. In my theatre.’
He wobbled slightly and the end of his nose gleamed.
The officer bowed his head a little, all the while maintaining his perfectly straight bearing.
‘Be that as it may, the Duke wishes that the pleasure of the unveiling is lost to none. He would see it as a gift to you in thanks for your hospitality.’
‘Which means,’ Parker muttered bitterly as the gallery door was closed firmly behind us, ‘That he doesn’t trust that I won’t damage it or stop it from being stolen. I’m shocked, Evelyn. Shocked and saddened that the Duke would judge us so harshly and find us wanting! To think that after all the effort, not to mention the money I’ve put in, I can’t even see to the hanging. What do officers know about hanging?’
‘I couldn’t possibly comment, Parker.’
‘Well a dashed sight less than me, I’ll wager. It’ll be crooked, I can just see it now. And that’s what the papers will pick up on, you know, and they’ll blame me for that. I get blamed for everything – just look at how it was with Hamlet…’
And he went on as he made his way down the corridor, not noticing or not minding that I wasn’t following him. There was another I should be thinking of. Parker had put his life into this troupe, not to mention his money. He needed a good review as much as Annie and Andrew did.
Left alone in the hallway, I quickly looked around and, with nobody to observe me, bent to peer through the keyhole. Then the door opened, and I stared directly at the unmentionables of one of the officers. He cleared his throat, and I slowly straightened. I fixed my eyes on his shiny buttons and gave an awkward curtsey before scuttling off down the corridor towards the safety of my study.
I gave them an hour, during which I saw the funny side of the incident, and decided to turn it to my advantage. Then, I tried again, pinching my cheeks as I left the room, and pulling my bodice down a little. One must use all the arsenal at one’s disposal.
Two officers stood guard, one at either side of the door frame.
‘Good afternoon,’ I said brightly as I approached them, lifting my skirt slightly as I walked to reveal my ankles. I am blessed with slender ankles.
They didn’t say a word. I paused in front of them, and smiled my best and most coquettish smile, all teeth and dimples. Not even a blink.
‘I do hope you are both comfortable,’ I said, wrapping one of my curls around my finger. ‘I can fetch you a drink if you would like. A cup of tea, perhaps?’
Nothing. I pouted.
‘I could try and get you something a little stronger – Parker keeps a stash of spirits and I know where he hides them.’ I coupled this is a giggle and conspiratorial wink. One of them swallowed and blinked.
‘None of it imported illegally, I assure you,’ I added swiftly.
I decided to focus on the one who blinked, and swung to the side of him, leaning in what I imagined to be a delicious fashion against the wall.
‘Where did your friends go? I’m sure there were more of you.’ I leaned forward so that, if he happened to look in my direction, he could have an eyeful of cleavage. ‘Have they left the best behind? I do hope so.’ I ran light fingertips down the side of his arm, the heavy wool coarse beneath my touch. He wasn’t bad looking as it happened, not that it mattered. I wasn’t convinced this seduction would work. There simply wasn’t the time I needed to break one with as tough a shell as this. Clearly the Duke only surrounded himself with the men most equipped against interrogation and torture.
‘Evey, I- Oh.’
My angel approached, the answer to my prayers.
‘Annie,’ I waved her over. ‘Do come and meet these charming gentlemen. They’re guarding Augustine’s painting and, I must say, are doing a very impressive job of it.’
‘Oh,’ Annie leaned against the wall and ran a hand over the upper arm of the entirely unresponsive officer. She squeezed gently and gasped. ‘I can tell they are very impressive. And so fine in their uniform.’
‘Aren’t they? I declare, I don’t remember seeing anyone so handsome in this theatre before.’
‘Indeed not, Evey. And we’d remember, would we not?’
‘Without a doubt.’ I stroked the arm of my officer again, squeezing him gently through his sleeve as I did so, moving my hand up and down, up and down.
He swallowed and looked a little uncomfortable. I took a quick look at Annie’s officer. The same. If anything, I pitied them and felt a little bad for putting them in that position. It was fair to say that not everybody was seducible, and perhaps we merely weren’t in the style these officers preferred. It was galling to fail so entirely. I caught Annie’s eye and raised a brow. She gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head. I nodded in reply, and without a further word, we stepped away from them, linked arms, and made our way down the corridor without so much as a glance back at them.
‘I begin to fear that my scheme for escape is a little less plausible than I thought.’
We had returned to my office and Annie flopped herself down at the desk, looking as disconsolate as I felt.
‘You’ve never tried on an officer on duty, though, have you?’
Annie shook her head.
‘But I assumed I could have, if I wanted to. Wouldn’t you have thought so?’
‘Undoubtedly. But the Duke’s men – they have a steel and verve lacking in most men.’ I sat myself down opposite her and reached across the desk to give her hand a squeeze.
‘They grow quite attractive in my mind, Evey, the more I think on it. They were both very handsome.’
‘And probably wealthy, too. Generous lovers, no doubt, and either one or both would have married you and fathered you red-headed boys, and looked after you and adored you into your old age.’
Annie smiled ruefully.
‘It’s always those ones who show no interest.’
‘And they’re the only ones who do. What a strange coincidence. Oh, did you want me for something? You were looking for me.’
‘Before I chanced upon the Adonis who ought to sire my children? Oh yes, I was. Liberty is looking for you.’ She twisted her lips. ‘Something about her costume.’
‘Then I shall avoid her for as long as possible.’
‘That seems wise. Is there anything else you need doing? All the props are set up by the stage – I’ve just finished that – and Andrew’s set up the lights and all the costumes are clean and pressed.’
‘It sounds like everything, then,’ I said. ‘I’m going to get ready. Can you believe I’m so calm just before people are arriving? I’d never have thought it.’
Particularly given Michael’s threat of a bad review. But it seemed so out of character for him, I still hoped he could be persuaded away from his blackmail. It looked like the most likely way of getting out of this since seeing the painting was so unlikely.
‘At least the time is passing quickly. Now it won’t be long until it’s all over.’
Annie looked so wistful that it almost hurt to see her.
‘I didn’t know you were so unhappy, darling. I wish you’d told me sooner.’
She shrugged.
‘You had enough to worry about. But you know now. I’ll miss you, when I go. Although it may not be for a very long time. Perhaps I’ll never leave. Perhaps all I’m good for is being a mediocre actress.’
I held her hand again.
‘I want to leave too. I didn’t tell you this morning – I wasn’t sure how – but I do.’
Annie brightened.
‘Oh, well then we won’t be in it alone, will we? Shall we try and go together?’
‘I would like that a great deal, I think.’