14
Ton pushed the door open. Dust rose in the air. The sunlight reflected in our eyes.
I followed him and looked around. The smell of death was still thick in the air like the first time we were here.
“Where should we start?” Ton asked.
“Let me think.” I looked around, trying to think of the ways to go in and out of this house. I moved away for a long time, but I could remember its structure rather well.
“This place can be reached only through the front door. We had a backyard, but Dad didn’t build a back door.”
Ton nodded before walking around. He surveyed the first floor carefully. I headed to the dining room, looking at each window before called Ton.
“If he didn’t use the front door, then he had to get in through the window,” I shouted, waving to get his attention.
“Don’t you think the culprit would get in through the windows on the second floor?” Ton shouted his question. “Your house has only two stories. I’ll look for a broken window.”
I nodded in reply before walking around and trying to find something that could help recalling my memory.
Coming here to find the truth pained me a little. I really like this house because it was the house that my family was once living together. Mom might go on her separate way, but the images from memory remained. However, the house that used to offer warmth and was the resting place was now might be the same place that hid my nightmare.
If this house had a dark history, all good memory might be painted over with darkness. Good things would fade away, leaving only broken happiness behind.
I walked into the kitchen and looked around carefully. The kitchen was full of smoke and broken tiles. The sink became rusty from times. The worn shelves were full of broken glasses and spider web. The kitchenware had been brought away and left the dead mice and spider web there.
While I was looking for a clue, I noticed a piece of broken glass covered with smoke on the floor.
I looked at the middle of the kitchen. The window glass was broken. Cinder and dried weeds at the back of the house blended together that it was hard to see anything clearly. I walked ahead and inspected the broken window carefully.
The window was big enough for a person to get through.
I walked out of the kitchen and called Ton. He gave me a confused look before ran over.
“Look.” I pointed at the window. “I’d checked. The culprit probably got in through this way. Why don’t you try it? Be careful and don’t cut yourself.”
Ton crawled through the window outside and went back.
“The size is just right.” He rubbed his chin. “I checked upstairs. No broken window. The ceiling wasn’t cut either. Your house doesn’t have an attic or something like that, right?”
I shook my head, so Ton continued. “It seems that the culprit didn’t get in from above. He should get in from this floor.”
“It’s strange.” I tilted my head. Ton nodded.
“Because you haven’t seen the image like this, huh?” He rubbed the broken glass left on the window with his hand. “I’m wondering about this point, too. We used to look around here once but found nothing. Why do you think it is?”
“You said it had to have a condition, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but that condition, what is it?” Ton stepped forward, inspecting the blood stain on the wall.
“I don’t know.” I stared at the broken glass thoughtfully. “It doesn’t feel familiar.”
“Then, let’s start with arranging the culprit’s actions.” Ton said. “First, before the culprit broke into the house, what do you think he would do?”
“Well… broke the glass and got in silently…?”
“Nonsense.” Ton laughed. “He should first cut out the electric. That’s weird. Your house’s electrical lines don’t seem to be cut at all.”
“Dad told me that one of them was down during a storm, but he called someone to fix it up already.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Ton took something from his pocket. “I found a warning of cutting electricity upstairs. Your Dad probably didn’t take it with him. So, it means the culprit choose the day that the electric would be cut, hmm?”
I nodded before asked him.
“Then, the culprit… got into the house, right?”
“He might prepare something first.” Ton shrugged. “Did your house have a camera or some kind of alarming signal?”
When I shook my head, Ton continued. “After preparing, the culprit might get in here. Guessing from your illusion, you weren’t aware of him until he reached your room, right? Can you tell me again what you saw in the dream? Make it clearer. I’ll take note for you so you can concentrate on remembering it.”
I tried to recall my lost memory. I heard someone knocked on the door. I was very scared, but I didn’t seem like someone who didn’t know what was going on. I was confused.
“I… think I didn’t become aware of him.”
“Umm.” Ton looked at the window. “From the fragments, I’m pretty sure it should make some sound when broken.”
“I’m not sure how I was in the illusion, but I think I didn’t become aware of someone approaching me. I seemed to be scared, and confused.”
Ton nodded. “Where’s your father’s room?”
I pointed upstairs. “Dad’s room was on the second floor. It had the same pattern as mine, but Dad liked to live quietly, so he made it soundproofed. His room in the new house is the same, but I can hear some noise at the door. I just learned that Dad likes to watch video filmed when I was young.”
“Video?” Ton smiled. “You father is rather cute.”
“Shouldn’t tell you about it,” I said playfully.
“Well, it’s good anyway. Seem like your father cares about you.”
“Yes… he’s care…” Ton’s words reminded me of what I’d done in the past. I adjusted my glasses with my finger to cover the guilt of my old mistakes.
“So, it means that… your father didn’t hear…” Ton went silent for a while. “And did your room installed some soundproof material, too?”
“No.” I shrugged. “I don’t have any problem with noises. I don’t really like it if it’s too silent.”
“You don’t like silence?” Ton’s eyes became a slit. “Then… what do you like to do when you’re in your room?”
“Why do you ask?” I raised my eyebrows.
“I don’t mean something extremely private.” Ton lifted his hands to stop me. “Well…how about this? Do you like listening to music?”
“I do. I told you before.”
“Oh, yeah.” Ton slapped his forehead. “Do you have an earphone?”
“Sure.”
“Then, I can guess why you didn’t hear any sound back then.” Ton sighed. “And do you think there’s another way to get upstairs from here?”
“No. There’re only the two stairs you saw. No matter which way the culprit got into the house, if he wanted to go to the second floor, he must use the stairs.”
“So, when your father’s room was soundproof, he shouldn’t hear anything. You might be listening to some music at that time as well, but I still think it’s a bit strange. If the light was out, wouldn’t you come out to look?”
“I…can’t remember.”
Ton sighed. This was a lot difficult than he expected.
“Then… let’s think a bit more.” Ton left the kitchen, looking at the stairs. I followed him. “If this is the only way to go upstairs for the culprit, he probably used the stair on your side. There’s no reason for him to idle around. The faster he was, the less chance he would be found.”
Ton walked to the second floor. I followed him until we reached my old room. He knocked the door, testing the condition, before got into the room. I followed him without a word.
“Strange.” He shook his head. “It seems… out of place.”
“Why?”
“You told that the culprit beat on the door, right? If you didn’t hear the glass broken, you shouldn’t suspect anything. Usually, if someone hears glass broken, one should go to have a look. If you didn’t hear and the culprit didn’t see you come out, he should know that people in the house didn’t care about it, so he should just open your door directly. However, you said that you saw yourself getting scared…”
“About the broken glass… even if I didn’t listen to some music back then, I wouldn’t go out to check.”
“Why is that?”
“Well… I told you that my Dad was suck about cooking.” I sighed out of frustration. “He broke a lot of plates. He broke so many that I stop caring about it. It’s been like this for a long time.”
“Umm.” Ton seemed to be thoughtful. “But the culprit still should have known. From everything he’d done up until now, he isn’t an amateur. Everything has been well planned. To miss such a small point like this… it’s impossible.”
“I think it’s possible to forget something small. Like when he sent the messages.”
“Yes. I think that those messages are strange… but it’s not the same about this.” Ton looked at me fiercely. “This is an important point. The culprit must try to limit any encounter to be as few as possible. Allure the prey out without a chance to struggle. I think he wouldn’t miss this point.”
“From what you said, it seems to contradict.”
“Can you recall the images you saw? Something clearer than before?”
I closed my eyes, trying to remember what I saw at that time. I heard door beating, seeing myself shook with fear. I saw…
I saw myself holding a knife.
My eyes opened wide. My breaths rushed. Ton looked at me with worry all over his face. He touched my shoulder lightly.
“Are you alright?” He asked.
“I- I’m alright.” I forced a smiled. “I just remember something strange.”
“Something strange?” He raised his eyebrows.
“When someone… beat on the door.” I panted. My voice stuck. I saw myself… holding a knife…”
“You hold a knife?” Ton raised his eyebrows.
“that’s right. It shouldn’t be mistaken.”
“But in the earlier illusion, you said you were stabbed.” His brows are knitted tightly. “It becomes even more contradicted.”
Ton brushed off the dust with his handkerchief before lean me on the wall. He looked around again before brushed off the dust on the opposite spot and sat down in front of me.
“Let me think a bit. First, the culprit waited until the electric was out, broke the glass downstairs, and sneaked into the house. You and your father didn’t hear anything. Then, the culprit beat on your door…” Ton face twisted with thoughtfulness. “The culprit didn’t miss about the threatening jigsaws but missed about banging on the door? And you said you were holding a knife. If you hadn’t suspected anything in the first place, where did you get the knife from?”
I considered the information Ton provided. I was rather certain that the culprit had no other way to get into the house. Everything seemed reasonable, except when the culprit tried to break into my room.
“Everything so contradicts.” Ton shook his head. “I feel like we’re going nowhere.”
“You’re right.” I looked around before lowered my head.
While I was looking down, I noticed something from the corner of my eyes. I looked over there swiftly.
“Maybe…” I whispered.
“What? You can think of something?”
“That time… might not be the same time as when the culprit broke in.”
“What?” Ton scratched his head.
“The culprit might break in first then I could get rid of him. However, he still tried to break in again, so I went to get the knife to protect myself.”
“Where do you get this idea?” Ton raised his eyebrows.
I pointed at the kitchen. “You said the culprit broke the glass without us realizing. However, in my illusion, I saw myself holding a knife, and the culprit was trying to break into my room. So, I can only think that the culprit must be in my room once when I wasn’t aware of him.”
“And where did you get the knife?” Ton asked. “If the culprit ran away, would you follow him to get the knife and went back to your room?”
“Do you have any better idea?”
Ton shrugged. “We’re finding the truth from your memory. There’s no evidence to search for. I can’t help you remember either…”
Suddenly, Ton stopped speaking as if he could think of something. He lowered his head and took a notebook from his shirt pocket before wrote something down.
“What are you doing?”
“Give me some time to think.” Ton said while lifted a finger to stop me.
I sat silently, looking at Ton writing something on the paper at high speed. He wrote, torn a page off, and threw it away. He did that repeatedly for a while before looked up.
“You might be right.” Ton said. “I can think of something now.”
“What do you think of?” I tilted my head confusingly.
“It seemed unreasonable for the culprit to get into your room without some preparation. As I told you earlier, the culprit must prepare himself before getting into the house. What I think important is he must have a weapon and something like a duct tape to stop you from making a loud noise.”
“Are you telling me … that knife wasn’t mine?”
“As I said, the culprit must come prepared. Did you see how he chased us? He’d prepared such heavy weapon just to corner you. He should prepare a weapon at that time as well, and it was a knife.” Ton rubbed his chin. “But it’s strange. You said you bled a lot but why don’t you have a scar?”
“I’ve been curious about that, too,” I said and lifted my hand to stop him. “In case you have some weird question, I don’t have a scar anywhere else, too. I’ve checked already.”
“That’s right.” Ton shook his head. “Everything seems impossible. I tried to image the scene. The culprit might try knocking your door at first, and you opened it without realizing. Then, the culprit charged into the room, locked it, and did something… but you could fight him off. He dropped the knife. You backed him out, but he kept beating on the door. If it was like this, it means that the culprit hadn’t actually given up. It’s still strange anyway. Since he didn’t have a weapon anymore, why did the culprit try to break into your room again? And why it was you who were stabbed in the end?”
“He might have another weapon with him,” I said. “Like in those psycho movies, he wouldn’t give up until he gets what he wants.”
“That might be possible, but the blood stain is in the kitchen. It showed that you must leave the room after that and met the culprit downstairs, or the culprit dragged you down before stabbed you. Now, what I don’t understand is why did you get out of the room? How did you survive? What does the culprit want from you and why did he escape before he can kill you?”
“Everything seems… unreasonable,” I whispered. “But they’re also reasonable at the same time. The culprit still follows me. There are those threatening, and those messages.”
“That’s what I don’t understand.” Ton scratched his head. It told me that his severe headache was back again.
“What did the culprit want?”
We surveyed the house again to seek for some more clues but found nothing that was really useful.
I forced Ton to rest. He tried to refuse at first but agreed later. I knew that his body was at its limit.
“I still have questions about the window.” Ton said. “Why didn’t you see anything about it in your illusion? If your memory is triggered by some condition as I think and if the culprit really got into the house from that way, you should have remembered something about it.”
“Have we followed those conditions?” I said. “Maybe it wasn’t enough. Maybe there’s something more need to be done.”
“You told me that your father isn’t good at cooking, right?” Ton took out a pencil to play with it. “Has your kitchen always been on that stage?”
“It’s been like that for a long time but probably not this dirty,” I told him. “Why?”
“If the smoke stain is removed, will it be a lot different from now?”
“No. Why?”
“I just remember something.” Ton sighed, looking absent-mindedly at the dark ceiling. “I’ve moved to stay with my sister in Bangkok. I also have to be the one who cooks. My sister isn’t good at cooking.”
“Is that so?” I laughed lightly. “Must be hard on you.”
“But it feels good. I can choose what we’ll eat and cook as I please. Sometimes, my sister cooks. She isn’t good at it, but she is happy to do it.”
“Just like my Dad,” I said.
“And I have to clean up after the mess.” Ton sighed. “But I still feel good. We might have some conflicts, but we’re happy.”
I smiled. I understood well what Ton meant. The relationship between Ton and his sister was like mine and my Dad’s. We might have some conflicts, but we were happy to spend some times together.
“That sounds just like my Dad. He likes to cook, and, in the end, I have to clean up everything. Once he burnt the fish until the smoke covered the kitchen’s window and I had to clean it. You must know how hard it is to remove that smoke stain.”
Ton laughed while leaned back on the wall.
Suddenly, he became silent. He looked at the windows in the kitchen then turned to look at me with a smile as if all of his pain had gone away.
“That’s cool, Dream.” He said. “You just unlocked a condition.”
“Condition? What condition?”
“Come here.” He got up and bore his hand as if inviting. “Let’s clean up that kitchen’s window.”
I followed him confusingly. He took out his handkerchief, spit on it, and started to rub on the window.
“I have only one handkerchief.” He said. “You use yours, too.”
Ton and I used our handkerchiefs to clean the smoke stain on the window. The stain stuck harder than I thought.
Finally, the dullness that had kept a secret for a long time was removed. The fading evening light shone into the house through the broken frame.
Ton looked at his work with satisfaction as if he just finished a masterpiece with his hands. He loved solving puzzles. Every time he could find the answer, he would show his satisfaction proudly no matter how small the puzzle was.
“You… can you remember anything?” He coughed.
“I… don’t remember anything.” I shook my head. “Maybe we haven’t completed the condition?”
“Maybe or maybe not.” Ton said. “I really can’t think of more condition. I might be wrong. This might not be something that can trigger your memory.”
“Then… let’s find something else.” I said.
“I said that the culprit must cut off the electricity before got into the house, didn’t I? It means that the culprit must have a flashlight or something similar. What do you usually use?”
“At my house, we use a flashlight or a candle, but we mostly use a flashlight,” I replied.
“Umm.” Ton nodded. “Last time, I found some used candles in your father’s room. It was useless back then but might become a clue now.”
“Why do you focus on the window first?” I asked.
“Just a feeling.”
“You typically say that we need to use reasons,” I smirked. “Never though that you will believe in a feeling, too.”
“Sometimes, I think that our instinct can be right.” Ton said expressionlessly. “Well, let’s go.”
We walked into Dad’s old room. Ton bent down and extended his hand under an old wardrobe. He took out some used candles from underneath.
“Can you remember something from seeing them?”
I shook my head before continued. “No. No matter how I look, these candles wouldn’t be used by the culprit. Don’t you find a flashlight?”
Ton shook his head. “I’ve searched around and found only these candles. Why do you think they’re not used by the culprit?”
“They had been hidden underneath,” I replied. “How many candles are under that?”
“Quite many. Most of them are small candles like birthday candles.”
“They didn’t belong to the culprit. No matter how careful the culprit was, some candles wouldn’t make anyone suspicious.” I bent down to look under the wardrobe. “Moreover, there’s no way he would think that in the next three years, I would come back to find the truth, right?”
“You’re right,” Ton let out a sigh. “but I think the culprit didn’t use a flashlight.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because I found this.” Ton stood up and opened a drawer of the wardrobe. A dull candle holder laid in there.
“I think Dad never has something like this,” I said while glancing at Ton.
“So, it means I’m right.” He picked up the candle holder and cleaned it. “I just guess. You said that your house prefers using a flashlight.”
“But your instinct is right,” I said. “Pretty good.”
Ton rubbed the candle holder clean. He looked at it thoughtfully before turned to say to me.
“I found this stuff since we were here last time but I’ve never imagined that it’ll relate to this.” He said. “Dream, can you go and buy some big candles? The one usually used when the light is out.”
I nodded and left the house.
From the front door, I turned to the glossary shop that was about a hundred meters away. I bought large candles in every color available in the store before went back to the house.
While I was opening the door, my phone rang. I took it from the pocket and looked at the screen to see who was calling.
I hadn’t seen the number on the screen before.
I looked around to see whether someone followed me. After I was certain that I hadn’t been followed, I received the call.
There was only panting sound from the other side. I listened for a while before decided to cut the line.
Before I would press the button, I heard a loud scream. The voice was raspy and broken as if it was that voice didn’t belong to a human.
This scream gave me the same feeling as when I was hunted.
The scream… the death…
I… died…
I cut the line in an extreme shock.
But the scream was still ringing in my ears.
The fear reminded me of the illusion I saw. I dropped the phone on the ground. My body shook. Every muscle went weak.
I tried to take a deep breath, picked up the phone, and ran upstairs with everything I got.
“What’d happened to you? Why are you so pale?”
“I- I…” I tried to force out a word. “When I was out to buy the candles… someone called and… and…”
“Take it slow.” Ton comforted me. “Someone called you and then?”
“I- I don’t know,” I said while shaking my head. “The other end… just screamed.”
“Scream?” Ton raised his eyebrows. “You mean wailing? Something like that?”
I nodded and suddenly fell on the ground. Ton rushed to support me.
“Take a rest.” Ton sighed. “The culprit might plan to corner us. This forces us to find the truth faster. It would be safer to know who hurt you back then but it’ll be useless if something happens to you now.”
Ton brushed the dust of the wall on our backs. I leaned on it and took a deep breath before choked out. Ton sat next to me, looking at me worriedly.
“Or shall we stop for today?” I shook my head before walked straight to where the candle holder was placed on the wardrobe.
“You’ll test it now? I know that the faster we know who the culprit is the better but you don’t have to force yourself.”
I just smiled in reply. He looked into my eyes for a moment before got up forcefully. Ton took out the candles and placed each of them in front of me. He went to get the candle holder before walked back.
“Tell me when you’re ready.” Ton said. “I’ve noticed that every time you remember an image, you’ll behave strangely. It won’t be good for you to see an illusion now… if it’s really a clue, that is.”
I cleaned the sweat on my forehead, breathed in greedily, and slowly nodded.
“You’ll see it now?” Ton raised his eyebrows. “I think we can wait a bit more.”
“That’s unnecessary,” I said coarsely. “Like you said, the faster we know the truth, the better.”
“Up to you, then.” Ton sighed. “It doesn’t matter what I say. You won’t listen to me anyway.”
Ton looked at every candle we had before turned to look at me. He started to explain about the condition.
“The condition should consist of a candle placed in a candle holder, a lit candle, a melted candle, and a recently died out candle. It should base on the color too. I think we have everything here.” Ton said and sighed. “I’ll start from the green one.”
Ton picked up the green candle and placed it on the candle holder. The orange glow shook. Its light painted a part of Ton’s face while another part was covered with the black shadow. He looked at me as if trying to find an answer.
“Can you remember anything?” He asked.
I stared for a few minutes before shook my head. Ton waited for the candle to melt a little before blew it out.
“And now? Can you remember anything?”
I looked at the pale gray smoke floated lightly into the air then disappeared. The absent light reminded me of something missing, but I couldn’t tell what it was.
“Seems like nothing. It’s fine.” Ton took the candle off the holder before replaced it with an orange one.
“This one is entirely possible. It’s a popular color.”
But it was fruitless. Either when the candle was lit or when it was blown out, no images appeared in front of me.
Ton sighed before turned around to choose another candle.
“Candles might not be the clue.” He mumbled. “But we have to try.”
Ton tried every color we had, starting with red, blue, and then purple. It didn’t matter which color it was, my memory didn’t come.”
Finally, we had to face a failure.
Ton took out a yellow candle and placed it on the holder.
“Okay,” Ton sighed. “This is the last one. If it still isn’t right, then I don’t know how to find a clue next.”
Ton placed the candle slowly before lit it. The fire danced brightly in silent. The orange glow reminded me of the sunlight. Sunlight means liveliness and beginning, but now I had to look at the burning light to seek for the start of my death…
I looked at the candle tear dripped down to the base of the candle holder before shook my head. Ton showed that he was bored before blew out the candle again. I looked at the faded smoke thoughtfully. What we’d done this whole day might be as useless as the died-out light. I closed my eyes, feeling tired from the lost effort.
I opened my eyes slowly. Even I didn’t want to recognize the failure we faced, I had to go on.
The second I opened my eyes the image in front of me start to change. I saw the lines of things around me shook. Ton’s image shook violently as if it was unstable radio waves before disappeared. Dad’s room was scattering. The disturbing noise radiated around the place.
The image in front of me became clearer. I heard the wind touched the dried leaves. I heard the cricket sang its song. The feeling was much more precise than any illusion I saw before.
Things around me started to form. Darkness covered the place. Only the soft moonlight shone down to light up the place and revealed where I was.
I stood in the kitchen downstairs where all the nightmares started.
I looked around to search for the blood stain and touched my body to see if there was a wound. The touch I felt was so light.
Suddenly, the front door was opened. A man was looking around before barged in with a candle holder in his hand.
I screamed in panic, lifting my arms in an attempt to protect myself.
The moment he reached me, everything broke. A bright ray beamed at me briefly before replaced with the reality.
I was back to the room I was with Ton once again.
“It seems you can remember something.” Ton said. “Are you okay?”
“No.” I shook my head. “This time I’m not.”
“What do you mean?” Ton raised his eyebrows. “This time you’re not?”
“It’s weird,” I told him. “Normally, I would feel frightened even after the illusion was gone but this time there isn’t fear to linger with me. I can also remember everything clearly although what I saw was quite… fuzzy.”
“Good, good.” Ton smiled. “I’m glad that you’re fine but what did you see?”
“I saw a man ran toward me with a candle holder in his hand… That’s all.”
“A man… Candle…” Ton mumbled and picked his phone up to take some photos. “Can you… try to relate it with the illusions you saw earlier?”