21
I looked around while my brain tried to find a way to survive. My chance was nigh, though.
The only thing I could do now was run as fast as possible.
The fear had unlocked every physical limitation. My body balanced very well even on the slippery road. I rushed forward without waiting a moment.
However, hope would remain hope. It was entirely different from the reality revealing in front of me.
He dashed at me, turning around the corner to stop right in front of me and took the hammer from his back before swung down hard.
I jumped back. The cement ground broke into pieces. The hammer’s stuck deep on the ground too close to my feet. If I were to delay my decision a second more, my life would have ended.
I tried to concentrate, got up from the ground, and ran to the left. He turned to look at me leisurely, placed the hammer on his shoulder, and quickly followed.
I tried to find a way that could lead me home, but he blocked me at every turn. It was obvious that he had learned the ways around here thoroughly.
He closed my every way out.
I ran through the rain with him entailed, crossing the stone bridge over a small canal that led me to the unpredictable future.
My only thought was that I must survive… I had to survive!
I threw myself into a desert road, running as far away as possible, but he was still hot on my heels. I sped up, but it was useless. The hammer was swung my way harshly. I ducked the hit before forcing myself to run further.
I ran until I was out of breath, feeling like my lungs were about to burst. Looking back, he followed behind without a hurry. No sigh of fatigue was seen.
I kept running without knowing how long time had passed. The dark cloud was like a closing curtain used for signaling the end of a show, but this was not a show. This was a real life hidden by the heaven. Only he and I were aware of it. Only he and I preceded this play.
I ran until I reached the innermost corner of a building. My feet had brought me to an unknown place. I took a chance to rest briefly while looking around, surveying where I was.
The gate frame was decorated with a metal rainbow. Its colors had been faded by the time and nature. The Ferris wheel was towering. Its bright colors were replaced with rusty stain.
I looked around to make sure that I wasn’t followed anymore and tried to find a place to hide. While I was looking around for the hiding place, I heard the whistle sound from far away and frantically ran into a small house nearest to me.
The sound of water dropping resonated throughout the building. The cold wind and chilling fog blanketed the place. I moved around slowly before hit with an invisible wall.
I got up in a daze, fumbling around to feel the thin air in front of me. Something stood between me and my escape route. Suddenly, the whistle sound rang throughout the house. I tried knocking on the invisible thing stood in the front and looked around frantically at the same time. After a round of surveying my surrounding, I came to realizing that I had brought myself into a very dangerous place.
I was caged in a mirror house. A mad man holding a deadly weapon was on my back, and a maze built from hundreds of mirrors was on the front.
I hurried and turned to the left path, fumbling around with my hands to find the way out. The maze’s wall consisted of both the clear glass and the mirror. That meant it was impossible to know where I was heading to.
When fear gripped one’s heart, the brain would arouse all five senses to work at its limit to look for the danger that lurking near. I heard footsteps, water dropping, breathing, and the whistle sound from every direction. My eyes were sharper than usual, which got me confused between the real thing and the illusion that intertwined in front of me. My skin became more sensitive to the cold. It made the atmosphere scarier. My nose and tongue could smell and taste the reddish rust stuck around.
His footsteps still echoed in the air.
He could be anywhere.
I moved slowly, trying to make my own footsteps as light as possible. My right hand touched a clear glass in the front to feel the way. I turned to the right hesitantly. The whistle was getting closer and closer. It was a warning that my time was running out.
Suddenly, I saw a black shadow ran passed me and immediately turned around. My breath stuck in the lungs from the sheer fear.
There were only water dropping and emptiness.
The glass house reminded me of one time when I was young. Once, I asked Dad to play in a glass house. Dad nodded nonchalantly. I cried out with happiness before ran into the glass house without realizing what was waiting for me.
The confusion between the illusion and the reality trapped me in the place. I tried to ask for help, hitting the glasses to signal that I couldn’t get out.
However, nobody came to my rescue.
I felt like I was caged in a tiny box. My reflections and the invisible exit were in every direction. I tried to run into the clear glass in front of me many times, hoping to find a way out of there safely.
In the maze, there was only silence and the pressing atmosphere. I sang to make myself feel better, but it made everything worse instead. The singing echoed in the house. Only myself was there to hear it. It was as if there was another one of me who was staring at me and planned to replace me.
I was eaten inside out. After caged in the maze for a long time, my senses started to distort. When loneliness took place, the despair revealed itself. A lot of images from my life rushed through my eyes before disappeared as if they were broken into pieces.
That was the first time I experienced the extreme fear.
After locked inside for a long time, I saw a large shadow gradually headed closer. I frantically ran and hid behind a mirror close to me.
The dark shadow moved slowly. The footsteps echoed within the glass and mirrors around. I closed my eyes tightly, praying for it to pass me as fast as possible.
Suddenly, the footsteps stopped. I heard panting got nearer, and a shadow blanketed on me. I closed my eyes tighter, moved away to put some distance between me and the shadow. I knew that it was getting closer from the sound of the breath and the dark that was moving under my eyelids.
Please. Please don’t hurt me. I could only pray in my mind.
Suddenly, my fear was gone. I felt the warmth on my head. A rough hand was stroking my hair gently. I slowly opened my eyes, staring at the light that shone passed the large shadow with a familiar feeling.
Dad smiled at me gently. His hair was messy. His shirt was soaked with sweat. He pulled me into his embrace before dropped sitting on the ground.
After Dad had realized that I was gone into the glass house longer than usual, he rushed inside, disregarding the shouts from the staff.
After he had found me, we both stuck inside the glass house until the staff came to take us out. While we were waiting, Dad and I sang songs together happily.
The event on that day had a happy ending.
However, the fear stuck inside my mind.
And now, that fear came back to hurt me.
I could keep running now because the fear from being hunted overwhelmed the old fear. The little girl stuck within the maze was crying inside nonetheless.
I kept fumbling the way, listening to the footsteps and the whistle from time to time. I ran away without any confident. Until I was at a dead end.
I touched the mirror in front of me before turned back to the same way I passed. When I was leaving, I hit a clear glass hard.
I looked at the glass. It had many cracks. Some shaping edges had blood on it.
Blood dripped down from my forehead and dropped on the floor as if someone spraying paint from a brush. I looked around in confusion. I was certain that I had walked through this path.
Then why did the path I was standing now seem different from before?
The cold spread. My eyes shook. The maze confused my sense of directions. I was lost.
I looked at the blood on the floor worriedly. If I headed forward, this blood would help the murderer to reach me. I had to do something with my wound.
Suddenly, a man in a black rain coat stood still behind me.
My nerve was fried. My body was tense as if I were a stone statue. He walked over to me leisurely, whistled in haunting melodies.
I closed my eyes tightly, counting the steps that were getting closer.
Five…Four…Thee… Two… One…
He stopped close to me. I closed my eyes even tighter, feeling the heat that was getting near, trying to avoid the death crept toward me.
He lifted the lethal weapon over the head before swung it down hard.
The second the hammer was swung down, I heard glass broken from somewhere far away. I slowly opened my eyes and turned to the source of the sound.
He disappeared. There was only my reflection in a mirror behind.
This place drove me mad. I took out a damp handkerchief from my jeans and tied it on my forehead to stop the bleeding before continued walking.
Suddenly, a black shadow rushed passed. I tried to take a deep breath to calm down. What I saw and felt a moment ago was just my own imagination, what I had to do now was to find a way to get out of here.
However, my courage was completely shattered when the mirror behind me broke.
What I saw earlier was the warning from my instinct. Now it was real.
He brushed the mirror’s flecks off the rain coat. The black mask was hiding a disgusting smile. I screamed from fear when he rushed at me, preparing for the kill.
The second I regained my composure, the deadly weapon was already coming on me. I charged at him swiftly before squeezed myself passed his side.
I ran through the broken glasses. He followed, swinging the hammer around to make more room. The shattered glass was like the showered ash in remembrance of the dead ones. I kept running until I hit a clear glass in front of me. I turned to the other way at the same moment that the hammer hit the glass that stood between me and my freedom.
He closed my way out. I had to find another way. I ran and ran without knowing what was waiting ahead.
Suddenly, the glass on my left shattered. He rushed out swiftly before hit my rib severely with the hammer. I flew stuck in a narrow space between glasses on the right side. The broken glass cut into my back until it bled. I tried to claw escape, but it was useless.
I was cornered.
The last thing I saw in this life was the reflection of my last breathings.
I looked for an escape. Broken glass had made many ways, but they were too small for me to get through any of them.
The sound of breaking glass was getting near. He swung the hammer aimlessly as if a child was breaking things to vent out his anger. However, what he was doing was a lot cleverer than that. He crashed only the glass that would block his movements and, in the same time, cornered me and closed my ways out.
I backed away. My back pressed on the mirror that was standing between me and the outside world. He took each step with confident. The prey he hunted so long finally had no way to go.
“Finally…” His voice was rasp as if it belonged to a monster. “I found you.”
His face was covered with a hygiene mask and a sunglasses. He used his left hand to brush my face. His breath was short as if the breathing of a lustful animal.
“You refuse to take my offer.” He licked his lips. “In this case, I have to tame you nicely…”
He kept the hammer on his back and used one hand to squeeze my face so that I couldn’t turn away from him. His other hand moved down to unzip his pants that were hidden under the rain coat. He gradually pulled the coat up, revealing the disgusting meat pulsing in tune with the heartbeat. I looked at the disgusting meat moving out of the pants in detest.
I tried to resist, but it was useless. The fear of the opposite sex had sucked my energy dry. He pressed my wrists down tightly, licking his lips in pleasure before yanked off my shirt and pants harshly. I screamed for help even though I was doom. Sometimes, the world would show its cruelty for us to see. When we were in the depth of despair, it would step on us by watching us break adoringly.
The disgusting meat became larger. It twisted up and down as if a person jumping in glee. The mysterious man sneered and moved closer.
He was about to push that disgusting meat into me.
He was getting nearer, and nearer, and nearer…
I struggled in desperation. No matter how hard I tried, this was the last lesson of my life… It was the end that I truly couldn’t avoid.
It ended now… Yes, it truly ended now…
No…
No… it didn’t… It couldn’t end like this. I wouldn’t… allow it… to end like this.
I screamed out loud and regained my lost energy. I twisted and kicked him hard in the stomach. Even if I couldn’t go back safely, even if my effort would be in vain, I would never give up. No way!
Suddenly, my hope lit up again when my hand touched a metal bar laid next to my head.
I gathered every drop of energy at my arms and hit the wrench at the heartless murderer with everything I had.
I squeezed my eyes shut and hit a few more times before swung the wrench at the mirror on the back. Rain poured in from the outside world and hit my skin harshly. Though it was hurt, it was the sign of my freedom.
I dropped the wrench and ran away from the deserted amusement park without looking back at the body that laid silently on the ground behind me.
I pushed hard at the house door with my half-naked body. Dad was cleaning some food stain on the floor in a good mood.
“You’re home… What!?” Dad shouted from the shock.
“Dream, what happens?”
I ran up to my room, tore off the remaining clothes and threw them in the garbage before rushed into the bathroom. I opened the shower at the strongest level, letting the water clean every filthy thing on my body.
No, it didn’t disappear. The feeling from that disgusting meat didn’t disappear. What had happened stuck with me. No matter how harsh I washed myself, it didn’t go.
I used the sponge to rub on my skin. No matter how hard I scrubbed, his touch remained. I screamed in desperation before dropped down on the floor, letting the water flow passed my body.
After I had finished bathing and dressing, I ran to the bed and covered myself with the blanket, shutting myself off the dirty world.
I sat under the blanket shaking as, treating as a metal shield that could protect me from all thing nasty. However, I was very well aware that… this world no longer had a safe place for me.
Suddenly, a tear dropped. I cried out loud like when I was a little child, letting out all the pain inside, the bruise from the hurt, the conflicts I had with Dad in the past, and the loneliness I felt when Ton wasn’t right beside me now.
He used to tell me that if I was scared, I should just cry, doing everything my way.
Because I was me.
I was still the same me.
I cried until my tear ran dry before got up on my weak legs. I rubbed away the tear with my shoulder before went to wash up in the bathroom. Then, I heard someone knocking on the door. Dad was calling me loudly, worried traced in his voice. I hurriedly walked to the door, twisted the doorknob slowly, and cracked the door open.
“What’s wrong with you?” Dad asked flutteringly. “Why do you come back in that state?”
I was silent, just thinking of it made my body shook.
“Are you…” he shook his head. “This is too much. I’m calling the police.”
Dad went downstairs, called the emergency number before turned to smile soothingly at me. I followed him down in silent.
“What’s the name of your ex-boyfriend again?” He asked. “I won’t allow him to do this again.”
I was silent for a while before whispered my reply.
“It isn’t Bill…”
“Then, who is it…?”
“I… don’t know.”
Dad rubbed his forehead before looked up at me. His eyes glittered from the water inside. Since I could remember, he hadn’t once cried in front of me. I still remembered the day mom died very well. He had lost someone so precious, yet he didn’t cry. However, now, he was showing his weakness, as if he were a baby that was snatched away from its mother.
Suddenly, he stepped forward to hug me. I looked at him with surprise briefly before closing my eyes. If he was sad, he should let it out. Letting me see his weakness strangely made me feel safe.
I probably needed someone to share my fear… someone that could feel what I had to face and cry with me. That probably was it.
I slowly smiled with tears soaking my face. We let out our pain and shook the fear off our hearts.
After we had cried until our tear ran dry, Dad and I sat down on the floor and smile at each other.
“You’re feeling better now, Dream?” He smiled. “Do you want to tell me what exactly had happened?”
I looked around before turned back to Dad. He raised his eyebrows in question. When he was about to say something, the doorbell rang.
“Who is coming now?” His voice traced with annoyance. “Let me see the door first then we’ll continue this talk.”
I closed my eyes, trying to suppress the urgency inside me. The fear was still there but, at least, crying with Dad helped me feel better. I opened my eyes slowly and took a deep breath to calm myself.
Suddenly, I heard Dad shouted frighteningly. I got up and dashed to the door.
A man was standing in the heavy rain. His face and body were soaked in blood. He looked into that house blankly. Those loathsome eyes moved slowly before stopped at me.
Bill looked at me with empty eyes.
At that moment, I immediately knew that the nightmare and the reality were one. I hadn’t woke up, and the nightmare still continued.
There wasn’t a safe place for me anymore.