9 Social skills
I will now discuss a topic that can be an emotionally complex and charged memory for many adults. Few of us remember school as a wonderful time rich with empowering social experiences. Most of us recall problematic and uneasy interactions. How do you remember school? And of course, the key question is, how does the drawing child experience the social interactions around him, and how can we help him improve his social status?
The definition of social popularity differs from culture to culture, as evident in the way the child draws interactions between various figures.
A fascinating study compared drawings by two groups from the same culture and found differences in the very definition of friendship and the degree of similarity between the various figures. Children from the first group drew figures very different from each other in terms of their clothing items and colors, representing the fashion freedom in that culture. The kids from the second group, on the other hand, drew figures in similar clothing representing the uniformity customary in their culture. In addition, their figures express more interactivity, probably because of the high importance attached in that culture to intra-community activity.
Another study compared drawings by popular versus unpopular children and found that the latter attach greater importance to their family, and tend to draw themselves close to one of their parents.
The following are three tips on how to identify good social performance in children's drawings:
1. The figures are drawn close to each other
2. The figures have a common denominator, such as similar clothes or colors
3. The various elements on the page interact with one another in unique ways
Naturally, some children give adults the feeling that they are not interested in being popular or in taking part in social play. Psychologically, it is customary to view this as an indication of their fear of social contact, which prevents them from daring to take the plunge and become better integrated socially. They have been known to be shy form a young age, and they fear strangers more than others. They would rather not experience anything new, and often this would also mean doing new things in drawings or other artwork. They may tend to draw using weak lines with little pressure, but this would be only in cases where they are shy and find it difficult to express themselves in other areas in life, beyond their peer society.
When a child feels socially rejected or finds it difficult to adjust to his friends and communicate with them, there could be many reasons for that – from learning of physical disabilities, through emotional reasons such as low self esteem or difficulty expressing oneself with other children, to complex family Backgrounds.
The child's appearance is another key factor. A child who looks unkempt or neglected will be unpopular. Children can also be affected by various behaviors that developed in the family system, such as overindulgence, which could make social interactions difficult and could be reprimanded by the kindergarten teachers.
In drawings, we can find signs that will indicate difficulty in dealing with unwanted realities. Moreover, we will find indicators of complex emotional coping, mainly in terms of certain color combinations and disrupted line qualities (trembling, discontinuous or meandering line).
Social rejection is liable to undermine a child's self-confidence and dissuade him from drawing at all. The child may feel nothing he does produces any results, and lose all interest in any activity, to the point of losing faith in any of his talents.
Based on countless children's drawings I have examined in the course of my career, I have come to realize that when a child feels rejected he tends to emphasize the difference between him and other figures in the drawing. The popular child, on the other hand, tends to emphasize common denominators.
This drawing by Harry (7½) is an example for social rejection. His drawings were referred to me by his therapist after the therapy got stuck due to lack of cooperation on Harry's part.
The various drawings revealed a complex and difficult inner world, as evident in this example: the flowers do not bloom, the sun is too distant for its warmth to be felt, and there is no relation between any of the objects in the Drawing.
Based on this and the other drawings, I became aware of a significant trauma to which Harry had been exposed at a young age, causing him to lose trust in the adults around him. At the same time, I saw signs of dramatic talent, and using drama therapy combining dolls, the therapy process could proceed. Later on, Harry began expressing himself once more through drawings as well.
To conclude, here are three tips for identifying social rejection in children's Drawings:
1. Emphasis of the difference between the self and other figures
2. Using low-quality lines (weak pressure, hesitant movement, etc.)
3. Leaving large empty spaces on the page and drawing tiny figures
Since children use drawings as a second language, drawings shed light on their inner world. Their social life, which is key to their world, is reflected in their drawings in different ways, and parents and practitioners will do well to analyze them in order to gain better understandings of dynamics they cannot participate in directly.