Single Parents: Spotlight On Black Single-Parent Males
The number of single-parent families is increasing everywhere. The 2002 US Census found that three of every ten children were living in a single-parent home. Experts believe the number to be steadily increasing and expect the trend to continue for years to come.
Increasing acceptance of divorce as a solution to marital problems is one social factor supporting the increase in single-parent families. With that acceptance has come greater tolerance for parents without partners.
Single parents face many challenges. They must earn a living and raise their children without the help and support of another adult at home. They face financial difficulties if they don't receive child support or have a big salary. Their time is over-booked with work, household duties, parent-teacher conferences and PTA meetings, and attempts at private time for rest and relaxation.
Support systems for single parents are growing, but they still frequently feel isolated and alone. New single-parents must cope with children who are having their own problems adjusting to the new lifestyle. They may face anger, feelings of abandonment, and rebelliousness from children who feel they don't get enough attention.
Although there are no clear census data on the number of single black fathers, experts assume the number to be increasing as well. They express concern that single black fathers may face more pressure than other single parents due to continuing social discrimination, despite less political or legal discrimination.
Many experts assume that males are less equipped to be single parents than females, arguing that men don't receive the same level of training in domestic tasks and that women are naturally more nurturing care-givers. However, other professionals assert that men are more likely to be objective and logical in their decision-making for the household and that they are more consistent in disciplining their children that women are.
Interviews of African American full-time single fathers conduced by Robert Coles of Marquette University explored why they wanted to be full-time fathers. When the men talked about their motivations, they listed fulfilling their responsibilities, reworking their own feelings about their absent fathers, being a role model, and maintaining an established relationship with their children.
Several new studies have been conducted by experts and psychologists trying to learn more about black single-parenting. There are also a number of websites containing information and advice focusing on the black male's single-parenting experience.
The following articles are examples of the literature available on the Internet targeting black male single parents.
* "Parent Trapped: Dating for Single Parents." Penned anonymously by a male single parent, this article talks about the author's experiences with dating as a single parent. Assuming his experiences can be generalized to other men and to black single fathers, readers can relate to his joys and challenges.
* "The Bad Rap Against Mothers." This article was published in a popular main-stream magazine several years ago, but it remains fresh and relevant. Its author is a single mother who was abandoned by her black male partner.
* "The Bad Rap Against Mothers, Part 2." A second part to the previous article, Part 2 more carefully describes and analyzes the challenges presented by single parenthood for mothers. The author imagines what life might have been if she had been the one to leave the relationship. Explaining her argument, the author believes that single parents are well- positioned to raise "exceptional men" who have good manners and lofty principles.
* "Come Back Home" inspiring excerpt is from the popular "Chicken Soup for the Single Parent: Stories of Hope, Healing and Humor." This selection acknowledges that everyone's experience with single parenting is highly personal and that each single parent has their own story to tell.
* "Get More Time with your Children and Manage Your Child Support" was written for black single-parent males, but it will be equally touching and valuable for white single fathers. The article gives insights into the personal and financial issues single-parent males face.
* "Dreaming Through the Twilight" is as sweet and mushy as its title but at the same time profound. It is also available as a book that compiles personal diary-type articles on black single-parent males having difficulty coping with their life as single parents.