The Baby Schedule Ruler by Dee Rule - HTML preview

Contents

Testimonials … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 7
Acknowledgments … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 11
Introduction
Chapter 1

Why Start Your Baby on a Schedule? … … … … 13 Why the Majority of Babies I’ve Worked with Sleep through the Night … … … … … … … … 19

Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

What Can a Baby Do for Its Parents? … … … … 27
Creative Parental Imagination … … … … … … 33

The Parental Persistence: Feeding Times and Schedule Formation … … … … … … … … … 47 Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Ways to Calm Down a Fussy Baby … … … … … 61 Proper Swaddling and Putting Baby
Down to Sleep Rule … … … … … … … … … 73

Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10

Baby Bath Ruler and Daily Activities … … … … 83
The Baby Burping Ruler … … … … … … … … 93
Good Habits/Bad Habits Ruler … … … … … … 97

Breastfeeding Woes Cure Ruler and
the Daddy Blues Ruler … … … … … … … … … 105

Conclusion
End Notes
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 123 … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 129

Testimonials

“Dee Rule loves being with children, and she has developed a personal connection with each of our boys. I’ve learned a lot from being with her and watching her as we spend time with those babies. She is very discreet person in our home, and we have all benefited from her care and professionalism.”

—Holly Hunter Actor and Academy Award winner

THE AMAZING DEE!

“What we would have done without you? … In the short time you were here, you taught us so much about being parents. … You have an unbelievable wealth of knowledge that needs to be shared with the whole world. This isn’t the end, only the beginning of a great, lifelong friendship. I consider you part of a lifelong friendship. I consider you to be part of the family forever; you will be in our lives whether you like it or not! Good luck with the book. Love you so much!”

—Oliver Hudson Actor, Rules of Engagement

 

7 8 Dee Rule

“Dee Rule arrived on the scene and immediately put me at ease. Her guidance and support was absolutely invaluable to me and my husband. In addition … Dee served as an excellent teacher. She helped us establish a schedule, taught us how to bathe, change, and care for our child, and gave us helpful hints for addressing future challenges … We will always be grateful to Dee for the love and support she provided during this time of major transition in our family, and we’ll be calling on her again. We recommend her to you wholeheartedly.”

—Kate Bullinger Koops New York

“Dee Rule’s help in welcoming our triplets into this world has been priceless … she has been superb, imperturbable, highly skilled … for our children and a strong and graceful pillar of support to us parents … she took three babies from little tiny preemies to seventeen-pound behemoths who have in all respects caught up with their full-term peers. All of them were sleeping through the night in the same room by ten weeks … Dee is a steady, affectionate woman possessed of the utmost discretion and professionalism. Her adaptability to the household suggests to us that she could get along with just about with anyone anywhere with any particular routine one might imagine. She is also an excellent teacher. There are tricks to handle multiples, and what had seemed to us an overwhelming situation and an impossible learning curve, she made far less daunting and far more fun.

The Baby Schedule Ruler 9

“In short, we love Dee and would keep her ’til the kids were off and married. But we know there are other babies and moms out there who need her more than we do now. We recommend her to you with all our heart”

—Diane and David Self Screenwriter and Producer

“She entered our home when we were completely frazzled and immediately brought order and serenity. Our babies began to sleep longer and eat better through her introduction of a more structured bedtime routine and are now sleeping six hours at a stretch through the night. As a new mother, I really appreciated her ability to be a great source of expertise and help without being pushy or controlling. Equally important, her presence allowed me to get enough rest and recuperate much faster.”

—Sara Allan

“It is with great pride and enthusiasm that we write a letter of gratitude and appreciation in recognition of the outstanding work.”

—Dr. Philip J. Weintraub Internist and Cardiologist

“Dee is one of the kindest, most wonderful people I have ever met. I trusted Dee Rule with the most precious treasures, my children. I am endlessly grateful for all her help and support.”

—Elizabeth Brady The Baby Schedule Ruler is dedicated to Elaine and Ayana
God rest their souls.
And to my dad, Rupert, who always encouraged me.

Acknowledgments

T

HE Baby Schedule Ruler provides raw information for all to use to help achieve a satisfying life with a newborn or toddler. I thank Erinn and Oliver Hudson for the

use of baby Wilder’s photo for the cover design. About eighty percent of this book was written in the nursery, in the dark on my Palm Pilot phone.

I used a helpful editing network to deliver to all people true insights and feelings without strict outside interference. Also, I wanted to keep the contents of the book secure. I didn’t want to risk great exposure of these techniques until the book was completely published. My goal in writing this book is to provide a simple and fast way for parents to feel comfortable taking care of their newborns.

Certain parts of The Baby Schedule Ruler, was written to highlight or communicate to different social backgrounds. I didn’t want to leave out any type of lifestyle living. It would be so wrong to give more attention to a single parental idea.

It has become like a renewal of life, and it gives me great joy to express some of these special moments. I hope you will find the information inside to be very powerful and exceptionally helpful. I wanted to keep the flow of language as if I were in your home working as your personal private-duty helper. Thank you for welcoming me into your home and trusting my craft and art.

I have the utmost respect for my celebrity clients and for all the good times we’ve spent together. I respect their lives and honor their families. Also, all of my clients are stars in my heart meaning all families I took care of who are just like you. Thank you for all your support and love. No information inside speaks about my clients in any negative manner. They all have been wonderful and loving to me.

All of the three schedule divisions of The Baby Schedule Ruler are made to fit in your life. If you need to push an hour forward or backward, please do so; The Baby Schedule Ruler is flexible for your busy day.

Introduction
Why Start Your Baby on a Schedule?

If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.

—Vincent van Gogh
I

have more than eighteen years of experience caring for preemies, newborns, and children. I’ve seen it all, but I must say you can never stop learning how to make things

better. For the families whose babies I’ve taken care of, learning has become an art. I specialize in twins and triplets, and I’ve seen new perspectives in this area of childcare. By getting involved in multiples cases, I took a massive and very important turn in my profession. I have felt a strong elevation of skills, love, respect, and insight that my hospital experience could not have delivered. But working at a New York Hospital helped constructed a solid ground for me to leap from and grow—to go to the next level in infant care.

I’ve mastered my art. For so many years, I’ve struggled and fought to dissect my work.
I want to share with all people my advice for helping new parents release the stigma or judgment of others, “You’re a first-time parent. It’s not easy.” I want to share with all people my advice for helping parents who can or cannot afford my private at-home services as an independent traveling baby nurse to become, as I’ve grown to become, an insider to their newborn’s peace and a guardian of their baby’s full and restful sleep and happiness.

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.”
—Oscar Wilde

Yes, you can be happy now by changing the way you take care of your new baby or by incorporating a better way to accomplish this. Just make sure when you’ve made up your mind to do The Baby Schedule Ruler that you know that you are doing the best service you can—not only for your baby, but also for your whole family.

How do parents get through the day with their new responsibilities? I will discuss the important things to do to accomplish this main task. Parents will gain confidence in everything they do. I will express most of what is lacking in a lot of childcare books, and that is the insider knowledge. I will share the wisdom and experience of being with newborn single babies, twins, and triplets twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week with only occasional breaks (two to three days off a month, and sometimes just one day off a month, depending on a family’s needs). Every family and newborn is different, and this difference always requires a new way for me, the baby nurse, to diagnose and adapt to the family’s needs. We all have a unique lifestyle. By writing The Baby Schedule Ruler, I can share with all parents a way to go about their days according to their lifestyles. I want all people to view the schedules and practice all the Baby Schedule Ruler chapters one diaper at a time and be successful!

We will develop proper skills like daily feeding times and amounts, breastfeeding, taking walks with your baby at least once a day, activities, baths, massages, proper burping, and most of all, scheduling. I will teach you the truth about being flexible with a baby and how to use flexibility for the advancement of your child as well as how to be inflexible and reap the sleep rewards. It’s normal for babies to be fussy, and sometimes the best efforts cannot work.

If you could live night and day in a baby’s world, you would be astonished at its delicacy and surreality; to be a part of it all will make you feel so blessed. Being here to learn all you can to advance your awareness of your newborn is wonderful. If you remain true to this road map, you will find that like many families, it will give you overwhelming success and peace of mind. To all who’ve trusted my judgment and reaped all the great benefits that these skills provide, please know I have loved your little one with all my heart and studied him or her to the fullest to write and finish The Baby Schedule Ruler. Thank you for listening with trust. To make this book possible, you are the true rulers.

The one thing I ask of you is to read the book twice to enhance your understanding of some of these new techniques. I also ask you to go out and teach these skills to loved ones, friends, and family. Also, I realize we understand more when we express and show the type of care we want for our children. People will not feel alienated because of the course of care you hope to accomplish for your family. Sometimes it can be difficult to get people to see it your way. But it’s good to teach friends and family all what you want them to understand. “A book is a garden, an orchard, a storehouse, a party, a company by the way, a counselor, a multitude of counselors.”

—Henry Ward Beecher American politician (1813–1887)

I asked myself the other day: who do you love? Without the things and people I love, where would I be, how would I live, and what job would I have? I would certainly feel very depressed if I was separated from the things I love, like music and the arts, going to the Metropolitan Museum in New York, being with friends, going to shows, reading a book, enjoying the spa, singing my favorite songs, telling hysterical jokes to friends, and creating something worthwhile. I asked, “Who do you love?” to parents, took it to the streets of New York, and charted the responses.

Most parents who have children in schools from daycare to high school answered that they loved their cars, homes, last vacations, children, fathers, pet Oscar, or simply themselves. These answers were not so amazing, but what I noticed was the order people gave me. Most of the parents (five out of ten) spoke of their children second, third, or fourth. This is not to suggest they don’t love their children, but what intrigued me was that when a newborn has become a part of families I’ve worked for, they’ve put their infants first. They’ve told me, “Dee, my child is first and foremost in my life, and everything revolves around him.” I wondered what could have possible happened over the years for some parents to see things a little differently. Maybe they got tied up in all society wants every day, the needs of loving something material, or just following a trend they see others following like buying homes, celebrating with friends, or going to the blow out sale of the week. I thought of what happens to some new parents who put away those things they loved to do frequently before their babies were born.

The first year of life is full of new adventures and activities directed to the baby. We get comfortable with our little ones growing up, and we gradually begin to care about or pay attention to those things we so used to love doing. What in the world happens to fun times and creative involvement when a baby comes home from the hospital? I have seen that it almost comes to a stop in some families and causes much hardship. But I’ve witnessed that if we can combine the daily love of things we enjoy doing, being a part of it all (society), and getting creative after just having a baby, we as humans can certainly be happy again. This is the fountain of youth—to love oneself while being a parent, keep the mind moving to improve, and to be the unique you.

Put on your best, look good, and keep up your hygiene. Being a mother doesn’t mean forgetting about yourself. Look good every day, not just when it’s important to wear makeup. Even on a walk, let your hair blow in the air. You’re alive, not about to be committed in the psychiatric department of a hospital. No more complaints of not having time—make time. Call a friend over for an hour, tell your family to stop in, and hit the shower, go to the spa, have a pedicure, and visit the hair dresser and tell her you’re having a good day. I personally love the book Making Faces by Kevyn Aucoin. He teaches you how to be glamorous, because you’re the only one that can create a positive you. Oh yes, stop listening to horrible opinions from nosy people who need to mind their own business. We don’t need adult babies to host.

Putting on make-up is not the only way to look or feel positive, doing good deeds are far more important. We can help out our favorite charities or volunteer in our communities. This gives a great feeling of hope and purpose, a respect of life. Being handy to friends by listening and expressing your opinions sometimes can be stressful depending on the topic but is also healing.

Keep those encouraging friends or family around you. With all the difficult times you’ve endured, you need peace. This peace can only start in your mind and around you. Taking good care of yourself is the same as taking good care of your baby. Why would you want to treat yourself worse than your baby?

Chapter 1

Why the Majority of Babies I’ve Worked with Sleep through the Night

The line between failure and success is so fine that we scarcely know when we pass it; so fine that we are often on the line and do not know it.

—Elbert Hubbard
I

’vE worked for a lot of families who are very educated. Success is a must. They are all celebrities and stars to me. I’ve lived their lives for a portion of time, residing in

homes of beauty, elegance, peace, and solitude.

What a time for them—to embrace me when I walked through their doors at almost the same time their newborns arrived at home. For some of my clients, it was their first child and for some it was their second, third, or fourth. No matter how many children they had, what was so difficult for all my clients is letting me, Dee Rule, the baby nurse, inside from the outside. I’ve arrived like the delivery of twins, but the big difference is that I am a stranger whom they can ask for advice on infant and child care. What trust they have had in me to deliver nothing but the best with respect to their families and

19

homes. To be a servant was a joy. Living with and working for these families weren’t two different things. To work and live with my families was one and the same; this was the key to pleasing my families. I saw my relationship with them as the family worker. I became the family member they always wanted who knew when to help out and when not to. It was imperative for them to trust me fully.

All these years of being the ruler of the baby schedule would never have worked out for me if I had been selfish and pushy or disrespectful of my clients’ priorities. First, I was picked by my families; second, I needed to gain their total trust; and third, I needed to be calm and respect their homes and lifestyles.

It was very important for me to give these families honor and respect to let them live their lives in comfort and with ease. I’ve made it my number one priority to allow my clients the privacy to deeply bond with their newborns. Also, it was my business to give my families attention, dedication, and advice and to answer all of their questions clearly.

There is so much joy for me to give these families more value than they paid me. I needed to get paid, but during the early days of working with babies and families, I began to wake up to a realization that the majority of the babies and families I have worked for sleep through the night while other nurses in my profession weren’t accomplishing this for their newborn families. The babies these nurses worked for were still eating two or three times in the night while my three-months-olds— whether they were born single, twin, triplet, preemie, or a just normal baby—were ahead of them all in sleep and the ability to communicate.

My babies were sleeping nine to twelve hours on average. It was a total success for my families, and they loved me very much. But why, I asked myself, was I accomplishing great daily activities and communication and inheriting restful babies that achieved deep, sound sleep at night?

I realized that there was something different about my approach to these babies and families that nobody else could figure out. Therefore, I went about taking notes of my daily and nightly life with babies and saw how differently I would approach each family. The reality that I deciphered was in the applications and theories of patience and the step of converting my lifestyle to their lifestyles. By doing these things, I all of a sudden became like another newborn baby. By observing the families as a child, I learned to come to some conclusions about the way the baby wanted to live with its parents and the way these families could adapt to their newborn’s journey in this world.

Many of my clients gave me huge bonuses and incentives when the job was over. They even told me, “You deserve more,” “You should charge more,” or “Your worth is almost priceless.” But it was worth more to me to learn from the families. They taught me how to live and understand their lifestyles— how they wanted to live and behave in their homes. With this helpful knowledge, I wanted even more information on babies with families and about everyone’s personalities and wants. It gave me the willpower to see and be with more families and to continue being the Baby Schedule Ruler.

This knowledge came from within myself as much as it came from the babies and their loved ones. Tapping into the deep cares of my families amplified the joy of having a new family addition. My families became less worried knowing that I came to help them understand their little ones better. They were patient with me and were so happy to hear my insights and interpretations. All along I steered them to leap into this new baby world by listening and see the results they craved, for it’s almost a miracle to people to get to know their babies as they grow.

I believe babies hold a special gift for mankind. This gift is deepness of need, want, care, comfort, love, charity, and the beginning of forming the self. They all have taught me about me—the “parent" me; the “baby" me. These (mes) are great, and it wants someone sometimes and nothing at other times. The most helpful insight I discovered is that the baby doesn’t know what it wants and needs, leaving us adults to figure it out. They remind me of us adults when we just don’t know what we want—we’re lost in what direction we should take, and we become alienated in our everyday lives. This eventually leaves us to take what we can get from others, sometimes not knowing where we are going to land or be. What is going to happen to us? But we’re adults, and we have our options; they’re babies, and we usually think we need to give them more and more food, because maybe that’s what they really want.

Food is so good, refreshing, and fulfilling, but it is not always the answer. This holds true for babies. When my babies are on a schedule, it benefits all of us because we can discern if the baby is hungry, tired, or just overtired, or if the baby needs to poop. By scheduling, we have a road map, a navigational tool, to figure out what the baby needs based on what time it is. Now we have created time for the baby. The baby doesn’t have a watch, but it will begin to remember time. Its tummy will tell the baby that it is hungry around feeding time.

We have rules in our lives that can empower or disempower us. I saw that it was a big benefit for families to show their children rules that gave them positive reinforcement. Scheduling will help families avoid confusion about what the baby or child wants. The baby will see, if I do this and that, I will get these types of feelings in return.

You’re the parent, and you set the standards—the rules— by scheduling. Remember, a child came into this world not knowing any rules; we are left to direct his or her day in a positive way. We must be dedicated to these rules so we can have positive results. If you’re not getting positive results with your baby, then you need to change the rules so they give the response you want.

Put into practice these rules by scheduling, and you will be happy and satisfied with this new beginning.
Some professionals cannot teach you about baby scheduling or having a routine for babies because they have not lived for eighteen years with newborns, twins, and triplets, observing their habits nonstop like I have. Some medical professionals prefer to tell you something negative about scheduling because they do not know how to direct you and your baby into a routine; therefore, saying scheduling is not good gives them a way out of trying to answer for their lack of exposure. God forbid they might lose you as a client and the money they will collect from the insurance company for years of service to you. However, there are many truthful people in the medical field, and we should all be grateful for their service.
I’ve found that successful people I’ve worked for and other dominating personalities in sports, science, the arts, politics, business, theater, acting, and other innovative areas all have achieved their goals in life by setting rules that gave them a positive feeling. Through these rules, they obtained greatness. Success can never be achieved by having conflicting rules. I’ve found that by being persistent at practicing schedules and enjoying the positive results, you can strengthen the family structure. At the end of all my jobs, I can only hope to obtain this by leaving a happy, sleep-tight-at-night, loving baby.
Every family is different and interprets things differently, just like their babies. I saw that these differences detract from getting the babies to sleep in the night; these differences gave me the solutions of how to best manage, develop, and interpret things in a way they could feel comfortable without forcefully changing their visions of what they expected or wanted to do with the new family addition. Here is my key to success. I developed this key by constantly asking myself, “What if I was the baby? What would I need to happen during the days to make me feel happy?" I would need a lot of patience from my parents; I would need sleep and food. I would need love and discipline in order to live in peace with everybody. I would need a map, like The Baby Schedule Ruler.
Through the benefits of the baby and family following this advice, the family entity becomes more solid. Mommy and Daddy can have time for each other. They can return to romantic moments, go on dates with one another, see a movie, or go on an adventure, and when they return home, they know that they can sleep all night and love their little one in the morning. The parents I’ve worked for can tell by seeing what time it is if it is time for the baby to eat or sleep. By knowing the time through scheduling, the parents can organize their business affairs, hair dresser appointments, gym workouts, rest time, important phone conversations, grocery store visits, and as a matter fact, any type of visit or personal responsibility. Life continues at a manageable pace.
Through The Baby Schedule Ruler, I wanted to show all families the path I’ve taken to accomplish the goals that my past families have achieved through my guidance of their parental instincts. There was something very special about the handson care I gave and the cooperation that I received from my families that was very important for me to write about. The families were very pleased with the progress I made for them in establishing a routine so they could have some flexibility, and it amazed them, their friends, and their families.
There are a ton of books on baby and child care, and they were made with good intentions, but none can reveal the consistent results I’ve obtained. I always wonder how many of these writers have lived in the homes of families for twentyfour hours a day for months on end. I wonder how many of these experts sleep in a baby’s room to hear and respond to his or her needs twenty-four hours a day. I guess that some are just writing a book that serves the purpose of a reference guide that will help many families understand and correlate many of the experiences—good or bad—that they are going through. But many cannot give a schedule that will get the results families desire from their little ones, like sleeping through the night and gaining the right attention span to communicate or just to look around and respond to all the stimuli the environment contains. Giving more to the masses is my delight. I love to tell everyone that there is a sound way to go about your day and be happy with a new baby. This book is for you—enjoy.
Today I went to central park for my afternoon walk with the baby. She was asleep, and I parked the stroller next to a bench that another little baby and her mom sat on. We looked at each other, and the mother said, “What a cute baby. How old is she?”
I replied, “Ten weeks old. And your little one?”
“She is five months. Is your baby sleeping through the night?" she asked.
“She has slept all night long since she was eight weeks old,” I said. You could imagine her face—it was as if I were exaggerating. I continued, “She goes down at 8:00 PM and doesn’t feed until six or seven in the morning.” Her mouth hung open like a whale’s. You would think she was going to bite a shark. She wanted to know the secret, and I replied, “With proper routine night and day, you can achieve anything.” The baby began to fuss a little, and I continued my walk. One week later, the same mother saw my employer and myself walking happily in the park with the baby. She could not help herself, and she stopped us and introduced herself.
“Hi, I’m Cassie. I met your baby about a week ago,” she said. “Is it true your baby sleeps through the night?”
“Without a peep!" said my boss.
This time without catching sharks in her jaw, she said, “What? That’s so nice!”

Chapter 2

What Can a Baby Do for Its Parents?

B

ABIES can give us a purpose—to live a better life. They can put us onto the track of perfection and help us to become unselfish. Having a little one pulls us into

reality. We can really think of what’s best first. Situations are resolved for the