—2—
So that’s the bad news: we’re disconnected from our kids, and we’ve been fooling ourselves about it.
Here’s the good news: I’ve seen the solution to this disconnection problem in action.
Over the years, I’ve learned from some amazing men- tors who were excelling professionally, but also knocking it out of the park as parents by regularly spending quality time with their children. They’re the living opposite of the disconnection problem.
On one of the original board meeting surf trips with these mentors, I sat staring in disbelief as an eleven-year-old boy spoke to his dad openly, honestly, and with enormous respect. It was as if I was watching an advanced civilization; there was just something different, something incredible, about the way my mentor Craig and his son Russ interacted with each other.
At the time, I grasped that it had something to do with the time they spent together, but I knew a lot of other dads spent time with their kids without achieving the same effect.
What I was witnessing, of course, was the impact of quality time.
I suspect you’ve caught glimpses of this, too. Perhaps you spend time with your child but, if you're like most parents, the time is standard parent-child stuff. You're hurrying them out the door, correcting behavior, and giving them instructions (or orders if you're more of the drill-sergeant type).
But, occasionally, aren’t there moments of magic? Times when you and your child are on the same page and having fun, and you experience a fleeting moment of togetherness? It’s in those moments that you remember what matters most. Things just feel right and you're overcome with an incredible feeling that puts a positive spin on everything. That feeling is called connection, and it’s created by quality time.
And we need a lot more of it.
We need more quality time so we can eliminate dis- connection. We need more quality time so we can create powerful and lasting change in our relationships with our children.
What we need is a quality time revolution.