In the fall of 2016, I was diagnosed with a very rare, aggressive, and often fatal form of cancer—acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
The diagnosis, of course, was a shock; the odds, even more so. I was given a 30 percent chance of survival— and that would be after a difficult course of treatment that would leave me weakened and vulnerable.
It’s at times like these when priorities have a way of making themselves abundantly clear. While I never once entertained the idea that I would succumb to my diagnosis, a parent with a life-threatening illness can’t help but feel overwhelmed, uncertain, and, of course, afraid.
My biggest fear was dying and leaving my children without a father. I also knew that my children would face many of the same fears and emotional struggles that I would during my treatment and recovery.
Fortunately, we had something to turn to.
The previous year, I had met Jim Sheils at an event where we instantly connected over our shared, deep desire to be the best dads we can be. I had already heard of Family Board Meetings, and at the event, I met about a dozen other dads who had implemented the practice with their families. Each, in their own words, emphatically expressed that the process had improved their relationships with their children more than anything else they had ever done.
I left the event with Jim’s book, a slim, engaging read aptly titled The Family Board Meeting. I read the book on my return flight home to my family and was even more convinced. Right away, I implemented Family Board Meetings with my daughter, Sophie (8), and my son, Halsten (5). My wife and I could immediately see how much our time together meant to them.
After my diagnosis, our Family Board Meetings took on a whole new level of meaning. While our family was forced to deal with the myriad of emotions that accompanied my illness and treatment, our consistent Family Board Meetings allowed us to stay connected, create new memories, and most importantly, talk openly about how we were feeling.
The meetings are wonderfully unique to each child. Sophie prefers daddy-daughter experiences centered around getting dressed up and going out on nice dates, while Halsten loves to do something fun, like go to the park or play laser tag and arcade. So far, with each Family Board Meeting we have, the experiences, conversations, and memories we’ve shared continue to deepen our connections and enhance our communication.
Even at the best of times, these crucial conversations with our children are often lost in the shuffle of busy day-to-day life. At the toughest times, these connections can vanish altogether. Family Board Meetings ensure that the quality time to connect—which we and our children crave—is never missed.
With the cancer fully in remission and life returning to normal, we’re still having our Family Board Meetings. When Jim asked me to write the Foreword to the new edition of The Family Board Meeting, I jumped at the chance because I practice it and I truly believe it is one of the best practices that a family can adopt.
To me, just being good enough is simply not good enough—especially when it comes to being a parent. I believe we owe it to our children to become the best version of ourselves so that we can be the exceptional parents that they deserve.
I hope you, too, will immediately implement Family Board Meetings in your family’s life, because I know you and your kids will be all the better for it. There’s no better gift you can give your kids than the gift of yourself and your undivided attention.
With love,
–Hal Elrod